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June 22, 2010 at 8:59 pm #139826MemnoichParticipant
It would seem I have been called on to be a mentor, I say this because I don’t see myself in a teaching role so much as the role of Guide.
Let me give you some back story. During my recent personal issues, an old high school friend moved back into town. As she was going through similar issues, we started talking and spending time together hanging out, she needing a baby fix as her kids were visiting their dad, and me just wanting someone to do things with. Well the other night we talked about religion and spirituality, actually spending several hours on it. It seems that she has very similar viewpoints to myself the difference between us being she had not been in an understanding environment, she’s been married the last 12 years to a man who didn’t understand her, and chastised her whenever she brought things up, so she hid her feelings and thoughts, and never really got to explore them, she was hardly allowed to do anything to work on herself spiritually.
After last nights conversation, I sent her home with several books, but the main one, that I told her to read first, was The Way of the Peaceful Warrior. As of noon today she is already halfway through it and planning on rereading it, she is devouring it. She can’t believe how much of it resonates with her. At this point I don’t think she is ready for the IJRS, but I will introduce it to her when I feel she is ready, but It will be up to her what she does with it.
It’s amazing to finally run into someone, outside of the IJRS, with an open mind and an eagerness to learn. She almost seems starved for spiritual guidance. This is why I’m calling myself a mentor, not teacher, I don’t want a clone of my beliefs, I plan on showing her things, letting her take them in, and then discussing them, as I hope to learn from her viewpoint, while I show her mine. I’m hoping that this will go from a mentor/student relationship into a mutually beneficial one, where we can sit down, discuss viewpoints and new things learned.
I do plan on using the training at the IJRS to get her started, some of the reading recommendations as well as exercises. I think one of the first things that might help her is getting her to meditate, and though I’m not the best at it myself, I think she’ll pick it up and run with it well.June 22, 2010 at 9:11 pm #155221StryseParticipant
This will no doubt prove a wonderful journey for you. My best ‘teachers’ are the ones who never considered themselves as such. Really, when it comes to experiential things… guide is all one can really do. Life is our real teacher, the rest of us just hold the flashlights so people don’t trip in the dark.
Its a bit astonishing, though, just how many people out there really are starved for spiritual guidance…. especially amongst the ranks of the so-called faithful.
I’m sure I speak for quite a few of us when I say we’re excited for you in this aspect of your Jedi journey.June 22, 2010 at 11:48 pm #155229Kol DrakeModerator
My ex is an ordained Presbyterian minister.
I attended Methodist churches as a very young kid.
Until I married, I did not attend a church before I hit ‘double digits’ in age so, all things religious and philisophical was done under my own wandering search.
Having seen those who my ex preach to these days (a small, dying farming community & church) it is not so odd to understand how young teens and adults are looking for ‘more’. The older folks are wanting familiarity — what they grew up with and have had all those years. They are not looking for change.
For many churches, folks move often enough that the continuity of family/church is no longer as it was…. having multiple generations attend, etc. This also makes it tougher for many older church communities which have lots of old to very old attendees and very few, if any, kids, teens, or young adults. The young families ‘flee’ to bigger cities and other jobs. Unless they all attend a church ‘with day care’ or ‘youth program’, the concepts and basis of philosophy of ‘the why’ of the church is not passed on… only the dictum ‘one must attend’ and ‘question, but never in public… or in the wrong group’.
My ex came originally from a community of almost Quaker/Amish decent and attended any time a church door was open. She had all the classes and could ‘speed find’ and quote scriptures with the best of them. It was not until we started talking while in at language school that she got asked (by me) … why. Why do you believe this; the way you do; what is the justification for this? She never had questioned; she had only ‘responded’ as per training and upbringing.
Questions. Open evaluation of personal belief.
It is ‘a step’ and a good path to start upon.June 23, 2010 at 2:25 pm #155242MemnoichParticipant
well it seems that The Force is guiding me even more, I was wrong, I thought I gave her the Way of the Peaceful Warrior, but actually gave her the Sacred Journey of the Peaceful, so even though I had something in mind, Something else felt she needed something different, but still she is devouring it. This will be interesting, and a new challenge for me.June 23, 2010 at 3:32 pm #155246JaxKeymaster
That’s how it works. And now you understand experientially why people say the teacher appears when the student is ready. Definitely an interesting book choice, since that’s the one where Dan does his real training. Perhaps that means she’s really ready to hit the ground running.June 23, 2010 at 4:44 pm #155251MemnoichParticipant
I’m beginning to think so, Like I said she seemed starved for Spiritual growth and is just devouring things, the other night she wanted me to keep talking, asking questions and prodding me for more info.June 23, 2010 at 4:48 pm #155253JaxKeymaster
Just remember the most important thing you can teach someone – to go within for the answers. My philosophy is to transition them from asking me everything to simply telling me how they figured things out. Once they can do that without my prodding, they graduate. It worked with Phoenix at least.June 23, 2010 at 6:02 pm #155259MemnoichParticipant
right now, for a lack of a better way to put it, she is an infant, she has not been able to look into things she’s felt and believed, so she’s looking for understanding and answers. I have not given her answers, so far all I have done is tell her about my beliefs, and given her just enough information to pique her interest and to know where to look for the answers she is looking for. I feel it better for her to find answers herself, and then we can sit and discuss them, so that maybe I can learn something from her as well. Such as the book, once she is done reading it, we are going to sit down and talk about what she got out of it, what she saw, but also I will offer my insights, this way it is a sharing of ideas rather then a telling. The only thing I want to teach her, is how to find the answers to the questions she has, as for the rest, it will be a process that we both go through, together. She started by asking me about the book, and I told her we’d talk about it after she read it, as I don’t want my insights influencing what she get out of the book, until she has had time to get her own insights, at which point we share.June 23, 2010 at 6:04 pm #155260JaxKeymaster
Sounds great. Should be a lot of fun and stimulating for you as well.July 7, 2010 at 7:21 pm #155428Kol DrakeModerator
To steal most respectfully from Bruce Lee…Quote:…It is like a finger pointing away to the moon.
Don’t concentrate on the finger or you will miss all that heavenly glory.
— Enter the Dragon (1973)Quote:The nun Wu Jincang asked the Sixth Patriach Huineng, “I have studied the Mahaparinirvana sutra for many years, yet there are many areas i do not quite understand. Please enlighten me.”
The patriach responded, “I am illiterate. Please read out the characters to me and perhaps I will be able to explain the meaning.”
Said the nun, “You cannot even recognize the characters. How are you able then to understand the meaning?”
“Truth has nothing to do with words. Truth can be likened to the bright moon in the sky. Words, in this case, can be likened to a finger. The finger can point to the moon’s location. However, the finger is not the moon. To look at the moon, it is necessary to gaze beyond the finger, right?”
heh… no pointing fingers.
Enjoy this time of teacher / mentor and student… you should both gain from the experience.
Be reminded though… words and discussions are not the entire map nor the journey itself.
This whole area is as much experiential as conceptual… so you and she might have to take time to see how the ‘chats’ come to reveal how this might become incorporated (or not) into one’s life.
I know.. I can be such a nag sometimes.
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