Sharing some experiences

[JaxKeymaster]

I’ve had a rough few days, so I wanted to share some of my thoughts with you.  Today I talked to my manager’s manager (M2) as he wanted to address concerns and rumors he’s heard about me.  Now, I know what’s coming because I’ve had this talk with both of my M1s.  People feel that I have too many distractions, take too many phone calls, and am not at work enough.  Now, from my perspective I actually don’t have that many phone calls, they just like to come at inopportune times – like meetings.  So it looks worse than it is.  And he’s fine with that.  However, he warned that my 6 month evaluation is partly subjective, and he would hate for the subjective views to overshadow my potential.  I agree with this, and have really kicked it up this week especially to get to work earlier and be there when everyone else is, just because it helps with perceptions. 

However, that doesn’t mean I didn’t worry about my job.  I worry because the phone calls are outside my control, as they only occur when Carrie has a seizure and needs to talk to me to figure out who and where she is.  Even though it’s valid, people still have concerns that I won’t be able to do my job.  So I have to figure out just how to not only catch up everything in my life, but get ahead of the curve so I can absorb more unexpected things.  And that, I believe, is something most of us can relate to.  I know there are a few single parents out there in the community who have to know a bit what I’m going through.  To come home from work knowing you have to do all the cooking and cleaning, and yet still have time for your training (and in my case writing curriculum lol).  To lose sleep for a sick kid.  In my case, I can have a sick wife any day, any time, which really messes with my sleep and ability to plan.  And through all of that, you have to keep a budget and pay the bills on time.  Maybe we should have a time management during the first 6 months at the academy!  :ponder

Now, rather than just saying, man, I am at a loss, I want to share my strategy.  It’s working to some extent…

First, I made time to work out tonight.  Wait, what?  I have how many things and I did yoga and some strength training?  Heck yeah!  I’m not good at yoga, at least I don’t feel good at yoga, so it really requires focus.  My nervous energy is gone, and I feel much better after that workout.  Not to mention the benefit from stretching to release some muscle tension.  The strengthening also improves my back and helps me avoid more chiropractor adjustments.  All good things!  I closed that workout with a short 3 minute meditation on the Wii Fit. 

Next, I did a few quick things to help my environment.  I took out the used cat litter and other trash.  Next I’m going to clean a few dishes and make some quick food for my lunch tomorrow.  That will make my life easier in the morning as I can grab my lunch and go.  This will not only save me money, but it’s faster as I can study while I eat, thus staying on the clock at work.  Then I get to leave earlier and start the sequence all over again tomorrow. 

The key for me is to focus on the big picture.  If I’m not healthy, this will all collapse, so I need to take care of myself first whenever I can.  Next, I choose the key chores that will make us all happier, and then those that will save time and money.  Tonight I will also read a little Peaceful Warrior before going to bed to help me stay in a good, productive mindset. 

Oh, and I chatted with a friend tonight to gain a little perspective.  Never forget your friends.   

Now I know better time management would help, but that doesn’t happen overnight, at least for me.  So I do what I can and do my best to not stress out about it.  Right now I feel pretty good.  :r2move

Comment as you wish.  Share your own stories, whatever works. 

[YoshioModerator]

Just to throw in my two cent. At the beginning of this year I started with a project abroad from where I life. Those of you who did the courses with me might remember. After this I cam home for a couple of weeks and now find my self again involved in an other project again abroad and even further away than the last one.
This means, that I loose a lot of time by travelling, which results in a shortcut of my spare time. So I use the weekends to spent this time with my girlfriend and keep our relationship alive.
Also this travelling around and staying in hotels ended up in, that I lost track of my training. But last week I gave myself a push and decided to get up earlier to do again my Qi-Gong practice. Than as well I will try to become again more active in the online community of the Path of the Jedis.
So actually those thing don’t need really much time in comparison with the whole day but it needs your will to do them.
In my case it means that I do now get up half an hour earlier and instead of playing computer I will use this time for to read through the forum and make some posts.

One other thing which I have found out works quiet well for me is, to do things straight away and not skip them to later. So, when I’m at home on the weekend, we do have breakfast in the morning and after I cleaned the table I do also the dishes. In this way they are done and don’t wait for me in the evening when I’m anyway not anymore in the mood of doing dishes. But what I would like to say with that is, that this takes me another five minutes after the breakfast but gave me a quiet conscience for the rest of the day.

[Anonymous]

Telephone calls and work – it’s difficult.

I prefer my employees take a break and get their text messages done – unless it’s a REAL emergency.  Bathroom breaks are a good time to get caught-up on personal stuff – or coffee breaks, etc.. 

I’m glad you are finding a way to make it all fit-in, Jax.  Small things fit in here or there add up.  It’s how I do everything…heh….

It’s why I truly think small lecture classes taken here and there for grading rather than formal and on-time education.  It’s easier for teachers and students to take on something small than something big.

Teaching is teaching and learning is learning either formally or informally. 

I hope all you teachers cut yourself some slack and realize it’s not in the presentation but in the spirit of it all – and that it simply gets done – messy or not… 

We really do understand!!!

– Asta

[inariParticipant]

Jax, I think you’re going to have to turn your phone off when you’re in meetings. Or at least think about doing that, ‘cos if you lose your job that would not be good for either of you.

Now, to share an experience I had today:

I had a quiet morning in the clinic, all my appointments were in the afternoon, so I was sitting in the reception area (handy to the heater) and doing some knitting. A couple came in for massages with my partner, to my surprise they took it in turns waiting in reception for an hour while he massaged each, the male of the couple went first and his girlfriend was in reception as well. She began talking to myself and the receptionist.

This woman had me absolutely shocked, though I just listened quietly and nodded in the right places. She started off (I don’t remember how this topic came up) telling us that her parents bought her her first mobile phone, and in that first month she had rung up a $2,500 bill. Her parents paid it. She did it again the next month, and her parents paid it. Then she moved on to how she had to change her phone very soon because she wanted one like someone in the Sex in the City movie had. Moving right along from there, she described how she’d bought a puppy during her lunchbreak recently because it was cute and she wanted it (her words) and then described how she was a really fussy eater and wouldn’t eat (long list) of foods, then she said that her parents didn’t make her eat her food when she was a kid but would cook her something else if she didn’t like what everyone else was having. Several times she described herself as ‘Daddy’s girl’. I had the impression there was some money in her family.

Firstly, I was somewhat incredulous at how materialistic, narcissistic and thoughtless she was coming across as. In the space of 20 minutes she managed to mention pretty much everything I like least about our culture, in terms of materialism, and doing things like buying a dog on a whim etc. Then I thought about it a bit more (nodding and knitting as I went) and I actually began to feel sorry for her. I thought that her parents needed a good ‘ol kick in the pants because they had spoiled this girl to an incredible degree; and it seemed to me that there was a part of her that knew this and had wanted limits. Just the whole spilling out of these things in such a very short time and to a complete stranger, seemed to me to be a cry for help, from some part of her, anyway.

I then made my excuses and went out the back to have lunch before my clients started arriving, and I tried to work out exactly what it was about this person that I disliked so greatly. You know, that sort of feelings about someone is usually indicative of your own issues. So, what didn’t I like? Well, I don’t like wastefulness, and spending lots of money on mobile phone bills seems to me to be wasteful of money, as does changing a phone because it is no longer fashionable. I also don’t like it when people buy animals on a whim, as these animals often end up in animal shelters at a later date. Of course there is no guarantee that this particular dog will, so that is a judgement I probably shouldn’t have been making about this person.  I just mentioned it to my hubby and he said that it sounded like she was boasting, but if that was so I wasn’t impressed lol.

[JaxKeymaster]

I’ve had a chat with Carrie and her guides.  Today she was so smart she actually put notes up on her computer, the bathroom, anyplace she could be and have a seizure that said if she was scared and her head hurt, that she had a booboo and to call her mom.  And it worked!  She called her mom today, but her mom isn’t as good at this as I am.  Doesn’t use small enough words, so she confuses her and gets her more scared at times.  Hopefully she figures it out.

So, other things I’ve done this week.  Taking inspiration from Peaceful Warrior, I’m paying more attention to my diet and making better conscious choices. I’ve read this book a few years ago but am getting different things out of it this time.  Either way, something is clicking now.  Tonight I’m super excited because I figured out how to make yummy rice, which I know sounds simple, but I’m not a natural cook.  I enjoy rice, but I wanted more to it.  Today I bought a really cool mixed rice blend of various wild rices.  Then I’m sauteing onions, green peppers, celery, and garlic and mixing it with my mixed rice.  That will be my lunch tomorrow.  I also bought raw cashews for snacks and unfiltered honey to eat on toast for breakfast.  I’m trying to get to the most natural food I can when it’s still something I will realistically eat.   

Also today I finally got my fitness membership at work which is free.  Hopefully soon Carrie will be stable enough for me to get heavier into martial arts and start up Cuong Nhu.  Basically, I’m trying to address all aspects of myself so I can better handle life.  In the morning I do my chakra cleansing, in the evening I shut off my computer early and get to bed early (with the exception of tonight).  I’m trying to eat better foods that help my body function well.  I’m working out a bit more and doing simple things like taking walks – even when those walks end up being runs through the rain to get back to my building at work.   

Now, to be honest, I’ve still been struggling with frustration.  I know there is a lot to work on, but I think I’m working a balanced approach for now. 

I’ll try to respond to other people’s posts tomorrow.  I have to saute some veggies!

[Anonymous]

Quote:

… I tried to work out exactly what it was about this person that I disliked so greatly. You know, that sort of feelings about someone is usually indicative of your own issues. So, what didn’t I like? Well, I don’t like wastefulness, and spending lots of money on mobile phone bills seems to me to be wasteful of money, as does changing a phone because it is no longer fashionable. I also don’t like it when people buy animals on a whim, as these animals often end up in animal shelters at a later date. Of course there is no guarantee that this particular dog will, so that is a judgement I probably shouldn’t have been making about this person.  I just mentioned it to my hubby and he said that it sounded like she was boasting, but if that was so I wasn’t impressed lol.

I work with people like this all the time. For some reason, people think that nurses are their own personal sounding and pounding board.

Yesterday, I had a 54 year old woman who would poop and pee her bed even though she could ambulate and make it to the bedside commode. I asked her what I could do to help her not dirty the bed. If she thought that her answer would upset or shock me, she was mistaken. I hear the same answer over and over again. “You get paid to clean me up.”

Another woman, about 400 pounds, was admitted for high blood sugar. I went over some education material and she stated that she had been to a diabetic class in the past. What did she eat for supper? Burger King that her husband, also a diabetic and morbidly obese, brought in for her along with Dunkin’ Donuts for dessert.

Another patient was constantly on his call-light. When it didn’t get answered within 1/2 a minute, he would throw things out into the hallway. When asked not to do so, he replied that he would cease that action when people answered his light right away.

Another patient threw a poop covered washcloth at a nurse and hit her in the face with it.

Another patient monopolized 1/2 hour of my time telling me about her really big house and its decorations, her Hummer, her this and that, obviously to boast about all that she had. When I went to excuse myself, she became irate, saying that she was intitled to me taking care of her.

How do it deal with this kind of behavior? I separate it from the person.

Everybody has some sort of mental issue that affects the way that they interact with others. You may not see your own issue, but I can see it and so can others see it. I am not perfect but I am a good person. I will do things or say things that drive people nuts but, in my heart, I am a good person. I look at others in the same way. They may do something that really bugs me, may even piss me off, but somewhere inside is a good person. I may decide to not deal with them, not be friends with them (I may even choose not to talk to them), but I usually do not think totally ill of them. I just don’t like their behavior. I don’t have to stay around people whose behavior is offensive to me. But I am not judging the individual, just the behavior.  I may say that I don’t like the way this person acts or that person acts, but I am not saying that I don’t like the person.

There are very few exceptions. I have only had about ten people in my life that I have wanted nothing at all to do with them. Remarkably, 7-8 of those people are people who are on these boards. I just ignore their postings and leave it at that. I am not judging the person, though. I am just saying that I will no longer put up with the behavior. That is my right, just as it is another’s right to get up and leave if they don’t like the way that I act.

Jade Light

[Author]

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