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  • #138432
    Jax
    Keymaster

    Ask yourself this question multiple times throughout the week.  When things are going well, when things are not going well, keep asking yourself this question. 

    “Am I where I want to be?”

    How does it change your situation to ask it?  What kind of answers do you come to?

    #144012
    Hybrid Dawn
    Participant

    I’ll ask myself that sometimes, but if I realise I’m not where I want to be, I get depressed, so I try not to dwell on it.

    Though in some situations it would potentially force you to make changes for the better, which I have done before.

    #144016
    Jax
    Keymaster

    You’ve already come to something important.  If you realize that you then get depressed, explore why.  Do you feel that you don’t know how to fix the situation? 

    #144024
    Hybrid Dawn
    Participant

    More than likely. Most of the time when my thoughts begin to dwell on where I am, it leads to where I’m going and the uncertainty I feel from thinking about achieving a future. While I can confidently tell someone exactly what I plan to do, the confidence doesn’t really reach my heart or mind.

    This just sets me on a track where I fear failure. I need to be succesful in almost everything I do or I just feel like I failed myself and anyone I know.

    #144026
    John
    Participant

    Your question is a very familiar one! Two thoughts which usually come to my mind are either “how much of what I am experiencing is of my own doing?” or “everything seems to be getting so much for me that I have no choice but to take it as it comes!”. I usually sway between “what have I done right/wrong?” and resignation/hope.  Even though I do not claim to be free from the “swinging forces” of human emotions, I do believe and have experienced that a lot depends on fundamental decisions. The potentials of a situation lies in how I add to it through my reactions and my fundamental decisions are enhanced by any situation I meet in life.

    #144028
    Kai-An
    Participant

    I feel similarly to Hybrid Dawn- when I think on that question, I get angry with myself because I let myself get into a situation I don’t want to be in, or didn’t try hard enough when I should have, and because of that end up below where I want to be. Sometimes I am confident about where I will go, but often I wonder if I’m being naive thinking things will work out if I work hard, especially because I know I don’t always give my all.

    Much love,
    Kai-An

    #144030
    Hybrid Dawn
    Participant

    Exactly, and I see first hand how hard work doesn’t always pay off and that people who slack can make it somewhere’s. It’s difficult not to doubt yourself when society demands success, even more so when YOU deman success of yourself.

    #144036
    Jacen
    Participant
    Quote:
    “Am I where I want to be?”

    When I think about that question, I find it doesn’t seem relevant.  The question that comes to mind is “Am I where I’m meant to be?”, and always the answer is Yes :)

    #144047
    Jax
    Keymaster

    Well, techincally we’re always where we’re meant to be, because we are here based on everything that has happened previously. 

    There are many ways to take this question though.  Perhaps the most important thing I learned from this thread is that many of you don’t know the rules of life.  Instead, you believe that you have little to no control of your life and where it leads.  Your belief system is stifling your own ability to thrive in your life and end up just where you want to be. 

    If you stop and realize you are not where you want to be, you can make changes to move towards where you want to be.  However, if you have no idea how to do that, it doesn’t work so well.  This is discouraging.  This is why I think it’s so important that everyone learns how to have control over their life and where they are heading in the short and long term.  I currently have that planned for Personal 4, but I will also have to work on some introductory articles for the forum. 

    For now, just realize that it does no good to get down about where you are.  The purpose isn’t to make a value judgement about where you are, but to accept it mindfully and be able to choose another direction.  Don’t focus on your perceived failure, but shift your focus to where you want to be.  What you focus on, you attract to you.  Learn to start choosing differently and it will make a ton of difference. 

    And of course, if you’re really stuck, try bouncing ideas off other people.  I’m available a lot more now so feel free to drop me an instant message or email. 

    #144063
    Demetrius Vorak
    Participant

    Hi all,

       regarding the  questions that have been asked..  “am I where I want to be?” in my own experience, No one is ever where they want to be. In my opinion you adapt. The part that can make or break you, is HOW you adapt. Recognize the need for change, make a plan for change, and then set out after it.    As for the other questions ” How does it change your situation to ask it?  It doesnt. it just strengthens my will for “follow through” on my plan for the change, if need be.. or Be thankful! for what you are, and for those that love you, and depend on you.. after all, in this life, there are many many ups and downs.. and we will fall down, again and again.. the  question then would be will you get back up? and be better for it?

    -Demetrius Vorak

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