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February 21, 2018 at 9:12 pm #142984Kol DrakeModerator
I suppose one can find ‘lists’ on just about anything when considering the Star Wars movies and books. Just for fun, let us see what we can glean from “The Last Jedi” movie —
1. Believe in your child and their potential, however, rein them in when you have to. Make them learn the consequences of their actions.
General Leia Organa does this to her ‘ stand-in child’, Poe Dameron. Leia believes in Poe and his potential, but does everything in her power to rein him in when she has to. So, she gives him freedom, but teaches him the consequences of his actions. (though one might say, it was the General who gave the nod to the attack that took out all their bombers… Poe’s earlier action kind of forced her hand.) Leia punishes Poe. She also teaches him a thing or two about leadership.
2. Do not decide for your children what they will become. Deciding that your kids are irredeemable even when they have not proven it yet means that YOU have failed them. Do not give up on them.
“Remember what Grandfather Vader was like…” must have been on Luke, Leia and Solo’s minds every time they looked at young Ben Solo. They all feared what he had the potential to become. Luke’s moment of indecision MIGHT have sealed Ben’s fate. (Perhaps… although it seems Ben was fully under the sway of Snoke long before that crucial moment.) Still, we must remember… we are here to protect and guide… not force a path on our kids.
3. Communicate with your child. Do not undermine your children’s agency and push them to the sidelines. Understand them. Do not manipulating them for your own gain.
I suppose you could call Snoke a ‘failed parent’ to Kylo Ren. His lack of connection and empathy for his apprentice blinded him to Kylo Ren’s true intentions. That ‘blind eye’ ended up killing him.
AND, what if Leia and Han and Luke had openly communicated with young Ben before Snoke got his hooks in him? Their fear of ‘what if’ kept them from voicing and facing their fears to / for Ben.
4. Believe in their goodness.
Luke tells Rey that The Force is too big to belong exclusively to either the Jedi or the Sith. Luke explained to Rey, “To say, ‘If the Jedi die, the Light dies,’ is vanity, don’t you see that?”
There is ‘good’ in everybody.. if you look hard enough.
Anakin Skywalker was a poor boy from a poor planet; supposedly, Rey was sold by her drunkard parents for booze money; and the Force-sensitive boy at the end of the movie was a slave — the power of the Light can be wielded by anyone who is hopeful. You do not ‘HAVE TO BE’ a Jedi to connect with the Force. (But, let’s face it… being a Jedi is still cool.)
Now, one of the BIG LESSONS —
5. It is okay to fail. Failure can set you up for success if you learn from it. You can fail and your children can fail, too. But do not give up. To never stop, is crucial.
Many of the characters in The Last Jedi failed in their missions. Poe and Vice Admiral Holdo failed to protect the Resistance. Finn and Rose failed in their mission to stop the First Order. Rey failed to turn Kylo Ren to the Light Side. Luke Skywalker failed his nephew.
But they did not give up hope. They did not stop, they learned from their failures and forged a new path.
Poe led the Resistance to safety. Holdo sacrificed herself to stop the pursuing enemy ships. Finn and Rose reunited with the Resistance to fight another day. Rey left the fight and saved her friends. And Luke Skywalker used every ounce of his power to stop the First Order and allow the remaining members of the Resistance to escape.
6. Teach your children how to be strong so they can weather the difficulties of life. Do not just give them everything that will give them comfort.
Life is about challenges and how you face them. Do not wrap your kids in bubble wrap.
Yoda appeared to Luke Skywalker as a Force Ghost and told him that Rey needed a teacher. Luke might have given up on re-establishing the Jedi Order, but Yoda believed there would always be people like Rey who would need Luke’s guidance.
7. Do not just teach your children just about your successes; teach your children about your failings, too.
“The greatest teacher, failure is,” Yoda said. ‘Nuff said.
8. Teach kids to be better than yourself. That is your goal as a parent — to raise kids that will do better than you and your generation.
Yoda told Luke — “We are what they grow beyond. That is the true burden of all masters.”
9. Do not rely too much on books on how to be a better parent. Application and failure are the best teachers.
“Time it is for you to look past a pile of old books,” Yoda says to Luke.
I read the heck out of ‘how to raise a baby’. Books and books and books. And, the actual ‘raising’ was never ‘like in the books’. Each and every day is a new ‘adventure’… for the child AND the parent. And each child is ‘like but not like’ each other one… second child definitely was not ‘like’ raising the first! As parents, we had plenty of successes and failures. Figure all MY failures will help them sell their autobiographies some day! (I am chapters 5 through 11– “How my parents warped me for life”.)
10. Instead of teaching your children to hate everything that is wrong with the world; teach them compassion. Teach them the things that are worth saving, worth living for.
As Rose said to Finn, “Save the things you love, not destroy the things you hate.”
Empathy. Compassion. Communication. Understanding. These are how we improve their chances to have ‘better lives’.February 22, 2018 at 4:08 pm #194729YoshioModerator
Thanks for sharing this with us.
To your last line, I, personally, would add the two acceptance and simplicity.
Accept people and things as they are as you can only have direct influence on yourself but you cannot for anything down to others or other thing.
Be happy with the simple things in life and grateful for everything you have and get and don’t strive for things which are out of your range and control.February 24, 2018 at 4:40 am #194731Kol DrakeModerator
Great ‘additions’. Thank you.
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