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    I am enjoying this topic/thread.

    I am exploring the truth about love and I wonder how people define the meaning of this “huge” word. I think its so interesting that we have so many applications and uses for this one word. I would think we would have “thousands” of words for all of the different aspects, meanings and uses for it. At times, I do find this word to be confusing because so many people apply it to so many different situations.

    I wonder, how do you define or use this word?

    I am discovering that there are at least two versions of “love” for me: The Divine and the Human.

    Like the Force, the divine love is eternal, steady, complete, and universal.
    The Human love, like our life, is finite, wavering, conditional and “limited”.

    I am doing my best to live from the truth of the power of the Force as it manifests in my Love of my humanity, and the world around me.

    Kol Drake

    The meaning of love…

    Made me think of the oft times quoted axiom that those who live ‘in the far North’ have a couple dozen words to define our anglo-saxon, one word fits all, ‘snow’. Of course we see snow and think — that is snow but for a people who’s lives depend on knowing exactly what type of snow it is — deep and powdery, solid and crusty, dry, wet, etc. — the impact can be tremendous.

    heck, think of today’s coffee culture which has an incredible vocabulary. Do you want a cappuccino, an espresso, a skinny latte, or maybe an iced caramel macchiato? It’s all coffee, right? Instead of coffee metaphors, I’ll take the old blue box and visit the Greeks again… most point to ‘the four types of love’ but they really had six… or at LEAST six… there might be more but my ancient greek is really rusty and the box’s translation circuit is on the fritz again.

    We say ‘love’. We might mean something totally different.
    The ancient Greeks were just as sophisticated in the way they talked about love, recognizing six different varieties as those in thr far frozen North who had ‘many snows’. The Greeks would probably be shocked by our present day crudeness in using a single word both to whisper “l love you” over a candlelit meal and to casually sign an email “lots of love.”

    heh… gonna give the list but my mind is wandering. I keep wondering how our past and current ‘love songs’ would change if they had to use these definitions… and how the imagery might change from a basic tune. Anyway —

    1. Eros, or sexual passion
    The first kind of love was eros, named after the Greek god of fertility, and it represented the idea of sexual passion and desire. But the Greeks did not always think of it as something positive, as we tend to do today. In fact, eros was viewed as a dangerous, fiery, and irrational form of love that could take hold of you and possess you — an attitude shared by many later spiritual thinkers, such as the Christian writer C.S. Lewis. (and maybe one snotty nosed kid named Anakin?)

    Eros involved a loss of control that frightened the Greeks. Which is odd, because losing control is precisely what many people now seek in a relationship. Don’t we all hope to fall “madly” in love?

    2. Philia, or deep friendship
    The second variety of love was philia or friendship, which the Greeks valued far more than the base sexuality of eros. Philia concerned the deep comradely friendship that developed between brothers in arms who had fought side by side on the battlefield. It was about showing loyalty to your friends, sacrificing for them, as well as sharing your emotions with them. (Another kind of philia, sometimes called storge, embodied the love between parents and their children.)

    We can all ask ourselves how much of this comradely philia we have in our lives. It is an important question in an age when we attempt to amass “friends” on Facebook or “followers” on Twitter — achievements that would have hardly impressed the Greeks.

    3. Ludus, or playful love
    This was the Greeks’ idea of playful love, which referred to the affection between children or young lovers. We have all had a taste of it in the flirting and teasing in the early stages of a relationship. But we also live out our ludus when we sit around in a bar bantering and laughing with friends, or when we go out dancing.

    Dancing with strangers may be the ultimate ludic activity, almost a playful substitute for sex itself. Social norms may frown on this kind of adult frivolity, but a little more ludus might be just what we need to spice up our love lives.

    4. Agape, or love for everyone
    The fourth love, and perhaps the most radical, was agape or selfless love. This was a love that you extended to all people, whether family members or distant strangers. Agape was later translated into Latin as caritas, which is the origin of our word “charity.”

    C.S. Lewis referred to it as “gift love,” the highest form of Christian love. But it also appears in other religious traditions, such as the idea of mettā or “universal loving kindness” in Theravāda Buddhism.

    There is growing evidence that agape is in a dangerous decline in many countries. Empathy levels in the U.S. have declined sharply over the past 40 years, with the steepest fall occurring in the past decade. We urgently need to revive our capacity to care about strangers. I suspect this is the ‘form’ most referred to when we speak of Jedi caring for others.

    5. Pragma, or longstanding love
    Another Greek love was the mature love known as pragma. This was the deep understanding that developed between long-married couples.

    Pragma was about making compromises to help the relationship work over time, and showing patience and tolerance.

    The psychoanalyst Erich Fromm said that we expend too much energy on “falling in love” and need to learn more how to “stand in love.” Pragma is precisely about standing in love — making an effort to give love rather than just receive it. With about a third of first marriages in the U.S. ending through divorce or separation in the first 10 years, the Greeks would surely think we should bring a serious dose of pragma into our relationships.

    6. Philautia, or love of the self
    The Greek’s sixth variety of love was philautia or self-love. And the clever Greeks realized there were two types. One was an unhealthy variety associated with narcissism, where you became self-obsessed and focused on personal fame and fortune. A healthier version enhanced your wider capacity to love.

    The idea was that if you like yourself and feel secure in yourself, you will have plenty of love to give others (as is reflected in the Buddhist-inspired concept of “self-compassion”). Or, as Aristotle put it, “All friendly feelings for others are an extension of a man’s feelings for himself.”


    The ancient Greeks found diverse kinds of love in relationships with a wide range of people — friends, family, spouses, strangers, and even themselves. This contrasts with our typical focus on a single romantic relationship, where we hope to find all the different loves wrapped into a single person or soul mate. The message from the Greeks is to nurture the varieties of love and tap into its many sources. Do not just seek eros, but cultivate philia by spending more time with old friends, or develop ludus by dancing the night away.

    Another point worth noting — we should abandon our obsession with perfection. Do not expect your partner to offer you all the varieties of love, all of the time (with the danger that you may toss aside a partner who fails to live up to your desires). Recognize that a relationship may begin with plenty of eros and ludus, then evolve toward embodying more pragma or agape.

    By mapping out the extent to which all six “loves” are present in your life, you might discover you have got a lot more love than you had ever imagined — even if you feel an absence of a physical lover.

    Perhaps as Jedi we should push to (re) introduced the six varieties of Greek love into our everyday way of speaking and thinking. After all, if the ‘art of coffee’ deserves its own sophisticated vocabulary, then why not the art of love?


    The more we can open our hearts up to love, the more we can radiate love into our world. I do feel that love is the that individuals and the world needs. There is so much hate, hurt and “meanness” in the world. Its easy to be mean. I feel that we can easily justify being mean. Whilst being Loving is rejected, and looked down-upon.

    This view of the vulnerability of love needs to change in order for individuals to truly feel the loving embrace of the Force that will allow people to trust the power of Love in their lives.

    Love is the answers. We need to be courageous enough to allow love to radiate into our world.

    Kol Drake

    By the calendar, It is well into Spring 2016. I might argue the point since we are still seeing areas hit with weird ‘colder weather’ (hail, etc.) while other places are already well into ‘early summer’. BUT… the trees are greening and flowers are blossoming and I spent last weekend weeding under a holly tree filled with buzzing bees… no doubt checking out the birds flying by.

    Here is some tidbits of wisdom on love by a sufi master — an article taken from Discourses on The Sufi Path
    Love by Dr. Javad Nurbakhsh

    All human beings during their lives experience love and friendship to some extent. Human love can be classified into three basic categories according to its intensity, quality and limitations.

    The first form of love is friendship based on social conventions where two people behave in accordance with the principle: “I for myself, you for yourself; we love each other, but we have no expectations of each other.” This form of love is that of ordinary people, whose love relationships tend to be of this nature.

    The second form of love is based on a more solid foundation, and those who live together usually experience this kind of love: “I for you, you for me; we love each other, having mutual expectations of each other.” This form of love includes profound love as well as the love found within most families, involving emotional give and take on a more or less equal footing.

    The third kind of love transcends all conventions based on mutual expectations, being founded on the following principle: “I am for you, you are for whoever you choose; I accept whatever you want without any expectations whatsoever.”

    The sufi’s devotion to God and to the master of the Path exemplifies this latter form of love. This third kind of love is not based upon any constraints or conditions; the sufi who possesses this kind of love says with contentment and submission to God: “I am satisfied with whatever You want, without any expectations, and love You without any thought of reward.”

    The sufi’s love of God involves no expectation of reward or fear of punishment, for the sufi does not have any wishes and demands. The sufi embraces and loves God’s wrath as much as His grace, His hardheartedness as much as His fidelity.

    Only a few sufis have managed to annihilate themselves in the Beloved through the path of such love and friendship. It is about these sufis that Rumi has said:

    Everything is the Beloved,
    and the lover but a veil;
    The Beloved is alive,
    while the lover is dead.

    Thus, we see that the highest form of human love is ‘sufi love’. Alas, it is a polo ball that only the most distinguished and perfected of humans are worthy of putting into play.

    * * * * *
    Love as a polo ball…
    One might also see it as a ping pong ball or worse case, a badminton birdie… both of which take a lot of whacking about before coming to a point of ‘rest’ / completion between points.

    But don’t get down… when it happens; it happens. (how’s that for infinite and very vague wisdom!)


    Kol Drake, I love this thread, I am still reading and contemplating your thoughts. I was wondering if you could help me with one of the thoughts that you had:

    Love is the awareness of the infinite connection between you and everyone around you, and it is especially strong between those that you are exploring an intimate space with.

    I really liked this, but I don’t feel as though I fully understand it, or understand it correctly. I guess what I am asking is, if you would be so kind as to expand upon it, or elaborate a bit more. Every time I find myself trying to explain it in my head, I get caught up in “well maybe that’s not what it means.” I would just like to be able to grasp this for myself.

    Also, did you ever write that communication post, that you mentioned (joked about, I think)? I am interested in your thoughts on that. Again-I have not yet read all of your posts in this thread yet, getting there. I have skimmed them all, but am wanting to read them in full.

    Kol Drake

    Ah…. the bane of my writing ‘career’ — Too Long:Didn’t Read :P

    Thank you for actually trying to wade through all of these posts. While ‘ packed’, there are some sensible nuggets among all the words.

    Love is the awareness of the infinite connection between you and everyone around you, and it is especially strong between those that you are exploring an intimate space with.

    hummm… How to say all this without you having another encyclopedic post tossed at you?

    Read enough posts (and course lessons) and you will see we stress that ‘all things are connected’ — since ‘we’ are all energy. We might even imply that that ‘energy’ is love — the vibrations/frequencies which we send and receive to the one (or ones) we are ‘loving’. This energy emits the tones that create the ‘songs’ of our lives that draw others and certain experiences near. Then again, we say the same thing about ‘The Force’… so, is the Force the same as Love? (see how complicated this can get?)


    Each of us can have a multitude of close relationships — some that are sexually involved; some are emotionally involved; some are completely asexual and deeply platonic. With all those, we are not creating a ranking system based on which one it may or not be. Ideally, your friends are considered to be as equal as partners — no different than the one you share intimate moments… or an ice cream with. Hence, ‘being aware of the infinite connection’ between you and everybody else. Even those you don’t know (yet). Energy flows. Of course, the one you are the most secure with, the one you share body and mind with, will have the strongest ‘links’ energetically. Heck, strongest everything with.

    mmm… or maybe not. No two partners HAVE TO have the same interests, likes, dislikes, etc. You enjoy French Vanilla ice cream and your significant other prefers Dutch Chocolate. Such differences should not kill a relationship… differences can be good. One balancing out the others strengths and weaknesses and being stronger for the pairing. Ya, I know… it’s all in my meandering posts. Still, for all the potential for ‘differences’, we can have those strong intimate ‘ties’ because of the diversity in each other.

    Catch me on a different day and I might explain it entirely otherwise. (although, re-reading this, I am not certain I explained it at all…)
    For now, it means what it means TO and FOR YOU.

    Kol Drake wrote:
    since ‘we’ are all energy. We might even imply that that ‘energy’ is love — the vibrations/frequencies which we send and receive to the one (or ones) we are ‘loving’. This energy emits the tones that create the ‘songs’ of our lives that draw others and certain experiences near.

    I like this because the idea that energy travels at different vibrational levels does mean that it “Sings”, I mean, have you ever heard the hum of power lines, or a TV, heck, they say even planets have a “tone ” to associate them. Which to me might be why some people fall in and out of our lives. We draw those that are near our vibrational level, but when we no longer harmonize, we separate from each other. So we seek those that work with our own harmony. In the Celestine Prophecy, it talks about Love being an Energy force that we send out into the world.

    Kol Drake wrote:
    Hence, ‘being aware of the infinite connection’ between you and everybody else. Even those you don’t know (yet). Energy flows. Of course, the one you are the most secure with, the one you share body and mind with, will have the strongest ‘links’ energetically. Heck, strongest everything with.

    So here’s the question, to you love someone because of the energy you send and receive from them, or do you make that energetic connection based off of the feeling you have? Do we love those that match as close as possible to our Vibrational level, or do we try to bring those we love, to our vibrational level. I’m curious about that fact, they say everything and everyone has a native vibration, does that change for a person over the years? Could that explain the spiritual growth of a person, and if so, the connections that are made and lost over the years.
    Hmm, i think I’m starting to ramble, as thoughts are running through my head, I think it’s time for an afternoon walk, and meditate on things.

    Kol Drake
    So here’s the question, (d)o you love someone because of the energy you send and receive from them, or do you make that energetic connection based off of the feeling you have? Do we love those that match as close as possible to our Vibrational level, or do we try to bring those we love, to our vibrational level. I’m curious about that fact, they say everything and everyone has a native vibration, does that change for a person over the years? Could that explain the spiritual growth of a person, and if so, the connections that are made and lost over the years.

    Geez… why not ask me some hard questions! :P

    Seems like the buzz phrase / concept for the last decade or so has been — “We are not a physical being in a physical universe. We are an energetic/vibrational being in an energetic/vibrational universe. One of our greatest challenges as a human being is learning how to live as a vibrational being in a vibrational universe.

    We be energy. Energy vibrates; which means it has a frequency. As such, we are both a transmitter and a receiver of energy / “The Signal” / Our unique song.

    And, being the fantastic persons we are — we are not ‘one note’ show tunes. Our vibes / frequencies change with our physical health, mental well-being and the general bio-rhythms of daily living. A good herbal tea might mean an uplift while a totally sugary drink might take us down an octave (or more).

    We normally do not attract into our life what we ‘want’. We do not attract what we think about. We do not attract what we feel. Desires, thoughts, and feelings are all important, BUT these are more effects than causes. We attract what we are signaling.

    Not sure if it covers all your questions… so I’ll also add the next post which is from a site that touches on vibes and relationships…

    Kol Drake

    This is from the website >> Tantra Tuesdays | On Cloud Zen << Any colored highlights are my own…

    Why We Attract our Partners
    by Cyntha Gonzalez
    Relationships! We may be in one that is finally healthy and flowing. We may long to be in one. We may be in one that is clearly just not working. We may ask, “If I am doing all the right things, why do I keep attracting dysfunctional relationships, or no relationship at all?!”

    It’s worth remembering that we are energy and we are also both a transmitter and a receiver of energy. The waves of our energy can be measured by:
    • their frequency or how fast they move
    • their height
    • their amps or power
    • their smoothness or rough edges
    • their regularity or erratic irregularity

    All of these make up the vibration of our energy. Our thoughts and feelings reflect the vibrational pattern we are emitting. Our relational patterns we inherited from our primary caretakers, contribute greatly to what we attract in an intimate relationship. If our current relationships are not working for us, it helps to consciously identify those past patterns and bring them into awareness. We then can usurp their influence with a stronger, higher vibrational pattern that transforms the old into one that is new and healthy.

    Is it true that opposites attract? Or rather, do we attract our reciprocal? I believe both. Like a sunflower turns towards the sun, we turn towards the energies that match and feed our vibration. Like energies come into resonance with each other. Dissimilar energies repel from each other.

    Opposites attracting is actually our desire to come into wholeness. It paradoxically is like attracting like – it’s our underdeveloped side attracting its mirror – both in the light and shadow manifestations of our partner. For instance, Amina attracted a dynamic businessman in her successful partner, Omar. In the beginning of the relationship, she unknowingly longed to develop this part of herself but was at a loss as to how to bring this out of her. Adam attracted a bully in his partner, Sarah, and deep down longed to heal his own bully nature that he projected onto Amina. As he raised his vibration, he learned to be more empowered in love and firmness, rather than retaliation and revenge. Gillian was at ease with her body. She grew up in a family and society that was accepting of her natural sexual development. She attracted Jonathan who was teased for being a skinny, lanky, tall boy. Bean was his nickname. He longed for confidence and ease in revealing his naked body and learned to own that by being with Gillian.

    What does it mean to attract our reciprocal? To the degree we are conscious and developed, we will attract someone equally conscious and developed. Whatever our unfinished business is, we will attract someone with equal unfinished business. So, if Katy is abused verbally and psychologically in her marriage. Her wound is a bundle of energy stored in her physical body, in her thought forms and in her emotional field. Since like attracts like, Katy attracted the same wounded energy in Daniel, despite her best efforts to not repeat her parents’ marriage and her father’s disparaging comments about her. However, Katy longs to be whole and balanced. As she attracted a homeopathic remedy of like energy that intensified the symptoms of what she grew up with, she can raise her vibration and shed this old, negative way of seeing herself and marriage.

    As children, we were highly dependent on our parents or caretakers. Our dependency was a matter of life or death, physically and emotionally. When there was any kind of perceived threat to our well-being, we contracted, went into fear and developed strategies to protect ourselves. Our vibration shut down and was automatically lowered. Because our natural state is one of openness and equilibrium, we long to return to this wholeness. One effective way is attracting precisely the same energy, so that as adults, we can raise our vibration and transform this unfinished business and return to our state of love and wholeness. Grieving the past, deeply forgiving it and letting it go so to replace the lower vibration we radiate outward, allows us to make literally a quantum leap in attracting a higher vibration.

    What is a quantum leap? It’s the amount of energy used when an electron jumps up from one energy orbit to the next energy orbit inside an atom. It is leaving behind the old consciousness and moving up a vibrational notch. In a quantum leap, more richness and energy are added to the system and any heaviness or deadweight is dropped that interferes in moving up this notch – both literally and figuratively.

    So, when Sam got together with Carolina, a heavy drinker, he had the same feelings of shame, embarrassment, fear and walking on eggshells that he had growing up with his alcoholic stepfather. He further realized that Carolina used drink to numb her painful feelings about herself and decided he could only be with a wife who processed her feelings in a mature manner and that he would no longer expose himself to such dysfunction. Sam had a quantum leap.

    Sam’s quantum leap was fueled by accumulative messages from friends, healthy media and a 12-Step programme for friends and family of an alcoholic, reinforcing that he could have healthy intimacy, that he was not abandoning her if he left, and that he actually was abandoning himself by staying with an unavailable partner. When he came to this ah-ha moment, the rising energy accumulated to a point that it fueled a lift-off into another paradigm or into literal higher orbits of circulation of the electrons of his energy. Since the old pattern of coping with an alcoholic had long been imprinted, he strengthened this new pattern by surrounding himself with others literally on the same wavelength.

    If we want to change what we are attracting, we need to change the signals we are sending out. We can do this two ways:

    1. Raise our vibration first and then the old will repel us. The old will be incompatible and no longer able to sustain itself since it will no longer be fed with a sustenance it depends on. We can do this by increasing our physical vibration through healthy eating, regular exercise and letting go of addictive substances. A most effective means to increase our vibration is to visualize what we want to attract and feel it, as if it is already happening. We let ourselves feel the associated emotions with what we want, since energy reads what we feel more than what we think.

    2. The other option is to put ourselves into a higher vibration of what we want to attract, and then grow into it. This may initially feel foreign and we may want to run back to the old. However, as we discipline ourselves to stay in an environment or with people of an advanced vibration, we will eventually calibrate to the same energetic resonance of what we aspire to and shift up effortlessly. This is what Sam did as he attended a 12-Step programme to deal with his reactions to Carolina’s drinking. He was skeptical at first, but eventually attuned himself to a healthier, more healed attitude and way of being. Maintenance is the key, to support the new, higher vibrations as they take hold.

    Ultimately we are not victims of our relationship situation. Once we become aware of what we are giving off as energetic signals and take responsibility for what we are drawing in, we step into a renewed optimism and empowerment to reorient ourselves to what we want to attract. It’s science, after all!

    The ‘Art’ of Attraction. The Secret. Whatever snake oil someone is selling this decade…
    They all give out these mental ‘loopholes’ for why things don’t work — if you are ‘wanting’ you will only attract want; not having. If you keep desiring money, you will never get money but only the desire is answered. So if you’re thinking about how poor you are, you will continue to attract poverty. If you think about how lonely you are, you will continue to be alone.

    The old — be VERY EXACT and INTENTIONAL in what you are transmitting. Don’t just ask for ‘a gal’ or ‘a guy’ or ‘a job’ — cause the Universe WILL toss you a bone. It WILL be ‘just’ some random guy or gal or job…. NOT the best ones that will be equal partners or ‘best fit’.

    Be as picky about the songs / vibes you send out as you are at some high end restaurant… if you want medium rare you expect it to come out medium rare — not charcoal blackened or raw. If you want a loving, caring, muscular version of Yoda… build them up in your mind as to exactly how they should be and behave with you. THEN, send out how YOU would feel if this person was in your life. The joy, the harmony, the well-being of having uber Yoda on your arm, etc. etc. THAT is the signal to be transmitting — not, boy, I am lonely and wish I had somebody… anybody.

    phew… okay… micro rant there. Sorry.

    Be picky. Each of you — you being ‘us’ — deserves happiness. Be it with a significant other or a favored pet or fancy house or well equipt hermit cave, they are all possible… with the proper mindset and ‘sweat’ (you DO have to actually work at laying the groundwork for the Universe to build on.)


    Thank you so much for this Kol, sorry for such a delay in response, I have been busy, and reading this when I can, it has been really helpful to me, and has given me much to contemplate in my own relationship. This is a wonderful post, and I hope that everyone takes the time to read it. :yoda

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