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January 29, 2010 at 6:12 pm #139706AdanaParticipant
Have you ever thought about how difficult it can be let go?
I have a good friend who asked me many months ago to help him with Letting Go. There have been many instances in his life he should have dealt with differently in his life but he can’t let go and has never learned how. So he has a tendency to dwell on the past. REcently I believe we have been successful as of late. It makes me feel as if I am doing my job as a Jedi after all and as a friend as well.January 29, 2010 at 6:34 pm #153967JaxKeymaster
Did you tell him about the chord cutting options we talked about? Letting go is so hard. Sometimes I find it difficult with people because I haven’t been a person with a lot of friends or important people in my life, so I cling to the memories more than is necessary. It seems to me, the more healthy relationships a person has the easier it is to let go because they know there is more good coming. But for the loner types who don’t actually want to be alone it’s scary to let go. I’m really glad you’re finding some results with your ‘friend’.January 29, 2010 at 6:53 pm #153968AdanaParticipant
Yes, and we are going to do it this weekend. We did a lot of smudging though because Mike brought his sage with him tooJanuary 29, 2010 at 6:54 pm #153969JaxKeymaster
Smudging just adds to the affect, so that’s great! I’m glad for both of you.January 29, 2010 at 6:55 pm #153970AdanaParticipant
thank you. I hope things will all work out in the end.January 30, 2010 at 7:50 am #153974inariParticipant
Another method of letting go (one that I have used successfully) is to apply the thought-control skills that you have hopefully learned while meditating. To keep and empty mind, we need to learn to recognise when a thought is coming, and either suppress it before it has fully formed, or ‘watch’ it pass. When we have practiced this enough we can keep our mind empty of thoughts for a time.
Memories are often linked to thought loops. Emotions are often linked to the memories. The trick is to identify the thought loops that bring up the memories and/or unwanted emotional states, then through practice either suppress these thought loops or if you’ve managed to ‘watch’ your thoughts without identifying them when meditating, to then apply that skill to the attachment related thoughts.
I hope this helps.
InariFebruary 2, 2010 at 12:33 am #154008Kol DrakeModerator
It is too easy to get into a negative mindset which invariably leads to unhappiness and depression. To avoid being overwhelmed by negativity we need to make a conscious effort to avoid the experience. When life seems like a perpetual dark tunnel consider some of these suggestions to change your outlook on life.
Often we don’t realize how much we subconsciously hold onto negative thoughts. It may seem counter intuitive, but often a negative frame of mind occurs because we won’t let go of the negative thoughts and ideas. Sometimes the mind clings on to these thoughts with a feeling of self pity or injured pride. We don’t like the negative frame of mind, but at the same time we are consciously trying to overcome it? The problem is that if the negative thoughts go round and round in our mind they can become powerful and we lose a sense of perspective. “Running the same ‘mental tapes’ of negativity” so to speak. One must make a conscious decision to ignore the negative flow of thoughts and sentiments and be persistent in these attempts.
A negative mindset is a choice. If we feel a victim to our own emotions and thoughts, nobody else will be able to help us. We should feel that by holding on to a negative frame of mind, we are inevitably choosing to be unhappy; each negative is a conscious decision to be miserable. If we really value the importance of our own inner peace and happiness, we will aspire to cultivate this through good, uplifting thoughts. Next time you feel the onset of a depressed state of mind, just ask yourself the question: Do I want to be Happy or Miserable?
The best antidote to negativity is to spend time doing positive, uplifting activities. Sometimes if we analyze and examine our own negativity it does nothing to reduce it. By engaging in useful fun activities, we forget about the reasons for our negativity; this is often the most powerful way to overcome a depressed state of mind.
We live in a world where there are no shortage of pessimists, critics and doom mongers. There will always be people who can find the negative in life; but, there is no reason why we have to ascribe to their world view. For example, often in an office environment there is a negative attitude to the workplace, but, even if there are faults and limitations we don’t have to allow them to make us a negative person.
If you can learn to control your thoughts, you can control the experience and emotions of life. The best antidote to negativity is learning the art of meditation. Meditation is more than just relaxation; it is a change in consciousness. Through meditation you move from the limited perspective of your mind and discover an inner source of happiness.
The nature of the mind is to be suspicious and critical. If someone does 99 good things and 1 bad thing, the mind will invariably remember the bad thing. If we allow ourselves to be drawn into highlighting the mistakes of others we will invite a negative mindset. However, if we live in balance with the Force and get centered in body and mind, we are not drawn to the faults of others (even if they are insignificant). It is by being in balance that we can have a true sense of oneness with others, their faults seem insignificance and we can feel a sense of identity with the achievements of others.
The worst thing for a negative frame of mind is to mope around feeling sorry for ourselves. Ruminating on our bad luck / worries / fears will not diminish them in any way. Exercise can be a powerful way to bring about a new consciousness. Negativity is often associated with boredom and lack of purpose. Stop endlessly checking emails and surfing web, look for something good to do. Get out and move and bring energy and the Force into your body and Life.
If you are feeling really miserable and have a low sense of self esteem, try thinking of 3 good things that you have done. Unfortunately, our own mind can be our worst enemy and very self critical. It is important not to lose a sense of balance; for the various bad things we have done, we have also done some good things.
We often think things we would never say in front of people. If you are annoyed, disappointed with someone else, imagine what you would say to them in person. Sometimes when we are with people we are forced to behave; even if we are not particularly sincere the effort to avoid negativity can help us to overcome our bad mood.
A lot said but (I hope) things worth pondering….March 3, 2010 at 4:15 am #154256Magdelene NashiraParticipant
Something that I’ve just recently learned along this line is an exercise where when you catch yourselff thinking about some negative aspect of a thing, person, situation, etc., is to just after you recognize you had this negative thought, turn right around and make some positive assessment of that same thing you just perceived as negative.
For example, one day during my walk I noticed a dumpster. I’ve always had a negative feeling about dumpsters. They just aren’t appealing to me. But I felt prompted to look for a positive and it occured to me that if it were not for dumpsters trash would be all over the street. Thus dumpsters are actually a good thing.
It’s really a challenge to try to change one’s negative thinking habits. I’ve been trying to for years and it always feels like I’m just beginning. When it’s been a habit ingrained in us for years, sometimes we don’t even consiously notice it. Then when I’ve tried to notice it, I’ve at times found myself exhausted from the constant onslaught of these thoughts and the energy involved in trying to refute them. It’s not at all an easy chore, but I think the more we work on it, the more it will become natural. It may take me many years to accomplish, because I’m not exactly a young sprout, but I feel even the small successes I have help me to feel better about everything. So I think it’s worth the effort.March 3, 2010 at 4:18 am #154257JaxKeymaster
I agree, that’s how I spent years trying to retrain my thinking. I still get stuck. Last night I got to apply letting go. I went against my better judgment and ate with a group of people. The food was overpriced, one person in particular was just rubbing me the wrong way, and in general I didn’t have much to interact with. The guy I was going to take to Luby’s also went and he was disappointed. So today we went to Luby’s on our own! But before I could get in a better mood I had to go through the process of releasing negativity toward one individual in particular. And so far, that is working. Keep it up Mags, it really pays off!March 3, 2010 at 1:08 pm #154260AdanaParticipant
Thank you for all your input.
My friend and I have been working on positive thinking and there are still nights where he does not sleep and we just sit and talk, better yet I let him talk most. He told me recently that he is starting to feel things differently, in a better way than before. I have always been a positive person and as everyone else I do have my moments as well. Moments in which I dwell on something only to realize it is not worth it and just makes matters worth.
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