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    That was fucking fantastic, Kol; and thanks for opening this thread up to f-bombs. 😆

    The golden rule consistently gets too much emphasis put on “love others” and not nearly enough emphasis on the prerequisite: “as yourself.


    I don’t know how I missed this the first time. But thank you. This is so true. It took me years to even slightly recalibrate from giving all. I worked at a cat shelter doing all the things. I took all the grief from people who wanted to give us their cats or a cat they found. A lot of people wanted to do the right thing, but wanted the easy out. And when we couldn’t offer that, would scream and yell. I don’t know how many times I was told I don’t care about cats. *which is such a laugh considering my life path* When I left that job due to burnout, I went back to school and continued volunteering, sometimes at two or three places (or roles) at once. While I was getting my masters degree. All the while trying to give to the other causes I felt strongly about. I think when I finally gave it all up was when I got my third red light ticket in 6 months. I always JUST caught the red light and it was always because I was in a hurry. I was stressed all the time. I had so much responsibility on me. And it was litterally costing me hundreds of dollars. So I sat and reassessed my life. I pulled back, quit a lot of organizations that were important to me so I could take care of myself. I still feel that I am being selfish, but the feeling isn’t as strong as it was at one point. I think I will always feel I am not doing enough and being selfish. And, as long as I can keep it in check, I think that is a good thing. Because it will push me to be a little more caring and go the extra step. Which we always need more of, especially in this tense time we live in. There is such a fine line between a “healthy” push to do more and the unhealthy push. And I walk it regularaly. No idea how I do it, it certainly isn’t easy. I hope this helps.

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