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    I’ve decided that I’ll keep an occasional journal here for general things, or things that are very Jedi specific for those that don’t explore blogs much. 

    Over the past week, my training has been my wife’s training.  She has seizures which mess up her brain often.  We’ve started a varied program to rehab her brain and body.  Much of it she does on her own, but I get to check her work and help her understand things.  For me, I get to be creative in my teaching approach to figure out how to reform those connections lost.  I also have taken to building legos while she is working on building.  I work on the brain puzzlers as she works on them.  I’m also learning more about the brain as I read “The Brain That Changes Itself” which is very useful for both of us, and for hopefully finding better ways to train Jedi.  In addition I’m reading another Abraham Hicks book to further my understanding of the Law of Attraction so I can help myself and others. 

    Physically my wife and I play catch with various balls.  I got a great manual on sword training (see the links in the physical training thread).  I’m hoping she’ll work on that with me.  In addition I want to start her on some basic shotokan katas to coordinate her body and mind.  While I do these activities I also work on developing greater coordination between my hands and improving my hand and eye coordination. 

    This week Cuong Nhu starts.  We’ll see what Gustav does as to whether I start tuesday or thursday.  It’ll be interesting.  I’ll try to make it through the month and see if I like the style enough to keep up with it.  It’s a big time commitment, but worth it I like it. 

    And finally, I’m working on dropping this huge wall I put around me somewhere in my past.  I need to work on cleaning up my shielding now, but it’s a great thing.  I’m becoming more outgoing at work, which is good for my career and life in general.  I’m slowly coming into my own as I work to undo the things I did as a child.  Quite an interesting time. 


    Oh my god.  I mean, holy ____ _______.  I’m so exhausted, my muscles can do little more.  Tonight was the first night of Cuong Nhu.  What killed us was the 20 minutes (or forever, something like that) of ground work, shifting positions 90 degrees and kicking.  Seriously, dead.  We started with 30 minutes of talking, stretching, and some exercises, including 20 good pushups, leg lifts and side crunches.  Then we did punching in a horse stance (forgot what they call it) and then moving in a front stance and punching.  Then we switched to the ground work where we did a million (or a few less) push kicks and front snap kicks.  Then we did the spinning and shifting positions, and then added kicks to that.  Finally we did more moving with punches and then moving with a front push kick (or whatever it was called).  I didn’t know some of these muscles existed.  I’m going to take a bath and then ice down and set my intention for pure white healing energy.  My wrists are a little swollen, and there are some areas that the spirits are a little worried about, like my shoulders (which I’m starting to feel). 

    Some things I discovered:  My gi is not good for kicking, it restricts me so I need to find a different style.  I’m out of shape (which I knew).  They use high chambered punches which will take getting used to.  We start with an interesting meditation pose after bowing in, basically forming a ball with your fingers (tips to tips) in front of your chest.  I know there are a lot of energy pathways that are being connected, so I bet there is a chi explanation for that which they haven’t explained. 

    I’m going to get a little impatient I bet in the beginning.  I want to get to weapons work and more soft elements, but it’ll come.  They start with predominantly hard in the beginning, probably because it’s easier, but soft is included in most elements.  It’s also a very precise style.  For those curious, you can see the advanced stuff by going to you tube and searching for cuong nhu. 

    I better try to get in the tub and then stretch and cool down naturally.  I need to get some of this tension out of my muscles and then put bio freeze on.  This is going to be a challenge, but a good one.  6 hours a week is going to get me in shape fast, if I stick with it and play smart.  But hey, I did it!  :-)

    Oh, and I know I have this issue, but it showed up again.  I’m good with physical stuff until I feel I hit the wall, that I’m giving everything I have, and then I’m asked to do more.  That pisses me off, so I have to struggle to release that anger.  It’s something to work on, since I can’t let that cloud my actions in any way.  I need to relax and just go with it.  If I can’t do it, I can’t do it.  I’ll be able to do it in the future.  Perhaps if I repeat a mantra before class it will help.  I’ll have to give it a try next time.  I expect thursday to be a challenge.  A different challenge though (thankfully). 


    A day later, I actually feel pretty good!  Far better than after other first workouts.  I did a few things to mitigate that effect, on advice from T and Leah.

    While I couldn’t take the bath I wanted, as there wasn’t time for the scalding water to be cool enough to touch, I did wash down with hot water. Then I got in my sweats to warm my muscles up. I also put a heating pad on my hip flexors as they were starting to stiffen up. After I got things warm and more relaxed I used the biofreeze on everything that I recall being stressed. Then I laid on my back and just tried to visualize the whole white light energy. I did some light energy bouncing as the energy seemed to be getting stuck in my hip area, and eventually went to sleep.

    Beyond that I took 800 mg of ibuprofen to reduce swelling, valerian to relax the muscles a bit and help me sleep, and took my vitamins. I also ate a handful of nuts and some applesauce so my body had a little more fuel to heal with.

    I woke up not very sore at all. My muscles are easily tired, but the only thing really hurting are the hip flexors, with some rotating pains that come and go. A remarkable recovery for my body. Oh, I also tried to visualize myself healing and being ready to go today instead of spending time focusing on how sore I would be. Seems like the combination of things worked! I need to do the same tonight so I can hopefully be all healed up for class tomorrow. At least we won’t do all that floor work, my wrists are not amused.


    Today was class with just Sensei Jared.  It was a little less intense, though we still built a lot of muscle.  “We” learned punches, low block, sparring blocks, moving and blocking, quite a few things.  I spent my time trying to get this high chamber thing figured out, and how to relax at the same time.  I disagree with some of the teaching methodology.  I think he asks too much of people too fast, which encourages poor technique because they’re trying to do too much at once.  But, I’m going to just focus on me.  Maybe in time I can have some influence in this aspect, but until then I’ll try to give people hints when I can and be a good example. 

    My concerns right now are my shoulders, which are taking more stress than may be healthy, and my arch.  I’m going to experiment with tape on Saturday because if I don’t I’m going to damage my foot.  The goal is never to do damage, so I need to be smart. 

    I think I should run the bathtub and soak.  Muscles are still sore from Tuesday.  I’m hoping to have a little more endurance in my legs by then.  Plus, it might help me sleep, which is always good.


    Out of the advice from guides, I’m not going to explain what happened the past few days.  Instead I’ll just say that I’ve been working on healing a lot more.  It’s interesting, learning through doing, but sometimes that is the only real option. 

    I’ve also been reminded to keep using my heart (which they tend to say instead of soul, though that is what they mean).  When I do that I know just what to do to help someone.  That is when I use my intuitive logic, or I become logically intuitive.  Either way, it’s when things just click and make sense for me.  So I’m working on my awareness so I can feel when I’m not as connected to my soul, and thus only using logic. 

    And personally I’m aware of the many times through the day that I feel judgment towards another.  I know that I have every right to be angry about some things that happened, but it doesn’t serve my growth to stay angry, so I’m trying to learn from it and move forward.  I can’t allow anger to distract me when dealing with people who are so selfish that they don’t stop to consider the impact of their actions or decisions on others.  Whether the action is large or small, my distraction can have a huge impact.  It can be a link in the error chain, as we talk about at work, so I need to break that link. 

    That’s where I’m at this weekend I guess.  I better shower and get to the grocery store. 


    After the events of this weekend I learned that I have a strong shield.  That is helping me further address the wall that I put up years ago subconsciously, as I can trust my shield to protect me from most unseen things.  I also experimented with additional elements that helped me focus my intention in the moment.  I got this from the Force 2 lectures which folks will see as they train.  Definitely handy.  :-)

    Otherwise, we are once again undergoing hurricane preparations.  Didn’t we just do this last week?  Life on the gulf coast has it’s challenges, that’s for sure.  I think it will help me further simplify my life though, as you look around your house and say, I could live without this or that and be fine.  Now it’s just taking the time to go through things and drop them off at donation centers. 

    Tonight is Cuong Nhu, but I’ll be pressed for time between work and class.  We’ll see how it goes.  I skipped Saturday because my joints needed the break to rest up.  I didn’t want to put further strain on my shoulders and wrist.  Plus I needed sleep to recover from our incidences.  My body feels good now, though my wrist is still not the happiest.  grrr…  It’ll work itself out, especially if I stretch it.

    This weekend I finally received my ForceFX lightsaber construction kit.  I put it together, and have come up with a setup that works for me.  Though really I think I’d be fine putting nothing on it at all, since I have small hands.  Unfortunately, I don’t feel comfortable with a sword type weapon at all.  Not like a Jo (medium length staff, about shoulder height).  But, I found a place online that has video instruction of the aikido sword form I learned so I practice that a little.  I’ll keep doing that to work on some fluidity and comfort. 

    Well that’s enough of an update for now I guess.  Time to get back to work!


    Hurricanes offer lessons of all kind.  I’m finding that I’m not very stressed at all.  I certainly could be, not knowing the status of our apartment and then trusting that people won’t break in to find cool stuff.  But I’ve watched all of the news and weather quite calmly.  Honestly, my biggest worry now is that we’ll have to stay in Austin with our friends for a week or more until power is restored.  Friends are good and all, but you are inhabiting someone else’s space.  Plus, there is some bad energy here that is causing trouble for Carrie, which sucks.  I’m having fun playing with their kid.  I’m more active when outside because we kick the ball around.  But I also get more tired because of everything.  And the kid gets mad at Carrie because then she doesn’t have my attention fully, which is kinda cute but also hard because I still need to spend time with Carrie. 

    On the first morning here I woke up with a pain in my chest, right where my heart chakra is.  I couldn’t remember any reason why it would hurt.  But then Carrie told me our friend was just balling that morning, stuck in a situation she can’t seem to get out of.  I was so exhausted my shield was weak so I absorbed some of her pain, giving me literal pain in my chest.  Once I was aware of it I could start doing something about it and it went away, but I was actually happy.  I don’t think I’ve ever felt someone else’s pain before.  I experienced physical empathy!  lol  Everyone has their own markers of growth.  ;-)

    It’s weird not doing any of my normal things though.  I might need to read tonight just to bring some normalcy back.  We’ll see.  Hopefully we’ll be setting up the Wii after supper in a bit so that will be fun.  :-)  I hope everyone else is doing well. 


    Training this week has come through living life.  I’ve struggled with maintaining my balance in another person’s location.  I solved this by leaving the house and doing simple but fun things.  Yesterday I went to the rock shop and picked up new crystals and rocks.  I got a phantom quartz (super awesome things, google them), a yellow calcite (I felt I needed something orange and pretty), a perfectly clear round quartz that was rough everywhere except on the top where they polished it, and the most beautiful blue and purple chalcopyrite (peacock ore).  I can’t wait to show Carrie. 

    I’ve struggled with frustration at listening to other people help Carrie after seizures.  Sometimes I had to be firm and say I needed to talk to her without them talking, but today I just tried to breathe and realize they were doing just fine, and I just stepped in when necessary.  It’s not an easy situation for me.  I’m used to being in control, with the help of guides, and in this situation I’m across the country.  A lesson in letting go and having discretion I would guess.

    I’ve read to the cats a few times and tried to spend time with them each day to put them more at ease.  I think they’re quite happy to be heading home tomorrow.  I’m expecting it to be quite stinky when I arrive, but I’m still ready to return.  Then I have a few days of cleaning and training again.  Maybe I can fit in a run or two.  The weather is in the lower 80’s now, which is just beautiful in comparison to the 90’s.  I think I’m acclimating a bit! *gasp* The 70’s can feel a tiny cool, but the good kind of cool.  I think I might freeze when I go home for my brother’s wedding.  hahaha

    Oh, and recently I’ve been noticing this new empathy ability.  First it was the pain in my chest the morning our friend was crying real hard in the morning.  Then the night before Carrie left I felt my knee on fire and realized her bad knee was right behind mine, and the pain eased as I moved my leg away.  I’ve also felt a pain in my head in the same place she has seizure pain.  Nothing too bad, just interesting, and all with people I’m close to so I’m not concerned.  Plus, once I’m aware of it I subconsciously seem to shut it down so it isn’t too bad either. 

    My dreams have been too fragmented to write down since I haven’t been sleeping consistently.  Tonight I got new batteries and was able to really pump up the air mattress though, so that will help.  I also got headphones so I can listen to music and hopefully ignore the snoring in the room.  lol

    I guess that’s all for me.  Besides the Wii sports I just did, which got my heart rate up, and the chasing and throwing around of a toddler, I haven’t been doing much physically, but that’s ok.  I’m also not eating excessively so it’s balanced a bit.  I better get my cd’s and head to bed.  Lots to do in the morning to head home.  Yay!


    Ah, it’s so nice to have my wife and the guides back to talk to.  She loved the phantom quartz I bought her, and knew exactly why it was for her, which is nice.  I got a chance to ask about the urge for orange, which relates to the second chakra, which I know I’ve been working on attuning with (so to speak) for a year or so now.  They said that I’m incorporating that color into my aura, basically absorbing those second chakra qualities, which is cool.  Caroline Myss describes chakra 2 as:
    The second chakra is your center of personal power, creativity, sexuality, and finances.  Issues of physical survival, control, and one-on-one relationships are at the core of this energy center. 
    She also states the Sacred Truth: Honor One Another
    Every relationship you develop, from casual to intimate, helps you become more conscious.  No union is without spiritual value. 

    For me the big areas here are taking my personal power and using it, which is the area that I’ve seen a lot of growth with over the past few years.  I’m also working on finances which is the second area of focus.  I’ve found as that balances out I balance more easily. 

    I guess those are my thoughts for the morning.  Hopefully I’ll write up my dream later.


    Thanks to hurricane Ike, I haven’t had any cuong nhu classes to attend.  Tomorrow morning we’re going to meet outside for a class since our room is still in use for hurricane aid.  However, I have a sinus cold which makes me watch my lung function.  So we’ll see tomorrow.  If I go, I’ll have to warn them that my lungs are iffy and that I’m sick. 

    I’ve been focusing instead on energy work and personal issues.  Feel free to check out my blog for more details on those questions.  I guess I’m still getting back in the swing of things after the evacuation.  So I’m going to get back into it all this week and see how it goes.  Should be fun!

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