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    Kol Drake

    Just a little soapbox mind muttering —

    It is touched on at various places and posts here at the IJRS of how ‘our past’ affects us. The shadows of our past can reside in our subconscious as well as the intent of our will. These old memories and old events can shape who we are in ways that are similar to how connecting with the Force can ‘nudge us’ in how it prods our nature. These memories and events can nudge pretty darn hard; they are part of our subconscious, and they affect our reality, but unlike connecting with the Force, we did not necessarily have any control over whether or not they (those darker moments in our lives) were placed there. (or driven there or stomped in…)

    All those events and experiences rewire our brains in ways that we can consciously realize, but they can also lurk about in the shadows of our minds, and have their own intentions. What some might (mis)characterize as our “other self” can manifest itself in many ways including emotions, stimulus response, and even moments where something triggers us reliving the events of our past.

    It is why we have so many lessons / posts / lectures on examining Self. For a healthy future, some (if not most) of these ‘shadows’ need to be rooted out, exposed, and faced head-on or they will continue to feed and grow within us until they start influencing us so much that we can lose control over our own lives. Self doubt, anxieties, depression — it all sucks and can suck what little personal energy you might have. Feeling like a limp dishrag is not normal. Connecting with the Force and meditation can help in this process through the process of illumination, but as with all things that involve the subconscious, it can be very, very ugly work that takes a long time to gain control over. The subconscious can be a tenacious bulldog about ‘letting it go’.

    Maybe you are a lucky one who never had ‘bad things happen’ and your mind / soul is light and rainbows. The above must not make sense in that case — kind of like sitting in a room full of people who only tell inside jokes that they really do not want you to get. You KNOW it’s worth knowing but don’t have the reference point to hang concepts on. Still, it is good to know ‘shadows’ exist AND they can be worked on… given time, patience and practice.

    Kol Drake

    I admit, 2017 was NOT a very good year for me (for many reasons.) That said, I also admit I did absolutely nothing about meditation, energy ‘work’, or ANYTHING. Now, let me amend that just a wee bit.

    My area was having unusually dry, warmish weather well into December. I was out raking up more leaves. (My 2nd go ’round and yet, sure to be another this Spring.) I had been patting myself on the back for my second year of NOT getting a rage-ing case of poison ivy. When I say ‘rage-ing’, I mean, skin reactions all up and down both legs and arms and sometimes even on the neck and face with all the swelling, etc. that the lovely PI can do to a person. Seems I have always been a little ‘sensitive’ to that particular shrubbery. As part of the ‘cosmic sense of humor’ of the Universe, I, of course, suddenly saw a poison ivy outbreak on my hand about a week before Christmas.

    I grabbed the special abrasive ‘soap’ that is supposed to neutralize the ‘poison’ and had all my lotions and potions on the counter; slept each night with socks over my hand so I would not touch my face or spread it around due to contact while tossing and turning in my sleep. Even by catching it early, my left hand was soon covered in ‘bumps’ and sores and inflamed tissue. Told you I reacted poorly to poison ivy. And, even with all the lotions and potions, some spots were looking downright ’emergency room’ candidates as my right hand started showing a few bumps.

    I was pissed. At myself for tempting ‘the Universe’ (ha ha, two years without an outbreak… nyah) and in general, for having to go through ‘this’ again. ( I’ve had some outbreaks take up to two months to cycle ‘up’ and ‘down’ before going totally away.)

    I had just grabbed some stupid book off the local library shelves… about using your mind/subconscious to ‘use the field of potential of the Universe’. (They said, call it ‘quantum energy’, God Force, or ‘that Star Wars Force’… or your Uncle Bob… just be sure, ‘it is there’ as potential waiting to work with you. Not controlled BY you; nor you being controlled by IT.) The idea that this is a field of potential which connects us all together. And is part of the ‘basic fabric’ of how everything exists. Not one you have to bow to or offer up tithes or burnt offerings or swear to never wear plaid on alternate Sundays. Just a ‘force’… like light or gravity or atomic bonds. It just is.

    So, I said, what the heck. That night, I laid in bed and said, “Okay subconscious and ‘whatever you are’, this is BS about my body and this poison ivy. I’ve got two finger that are turning crimson red and are close to internal infections and this spreading BS is just that.. BS. I give you THREE DAYS. 72 whole hours to trigger my body into ‘full alert healing mode’.

    Of course, being the greedy bastard I am, I also put in a bit about working on a pulled muscle in my back I got from those ‘leave chores’. I mean, if we are healing, we might as well hit the high points. So, I stopped lotions and potions and pills and gave my hands 3 days. The only thing I did was to keep it loosely covered with gym socks — that whole, not spreading anything to clothing or furniture.

    Three days later, my fingers were ‘normal colored’. All the ‘bumps’ were tiny scabs. I can tell those ‘near infection’ places were deep because they still showed up as ‘pinker than average’ for about a week after the ‘3 day time limit’. And, my back is not in continuous pain like it had been. Sadly, that means I will soon be doing crunches… which I had promised I’d start in 2018.

    Placebo? Maybe. But, as noted, my ‘typical’ spreads of poison ivy are rampant and take many weeks before they start healing and looking ‘okay’.

    The ‘field of potential’ connected with my subconscious and ‘healed me’? *shrugs* One ‘test’ does not provide adequate data points. So, I am going to keep ‘trying things’. And, maybe even work it into some ‘wide awake’ meditation sessions for added juice. I mean, it is an infinite ‘sea’ of potential we swim in every second we are alive, why not enjoy the swim?

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