AstaSophi’s Training Journal

[Anonymous]

Well – I didn’t realize we yet had training journals here – even for those not taking classes at the moment. 

I will keep a blog – but will begin my “training journal” here.  This will be purely for training – but for more personal/op-ed stuff – I have my blogger blog.

I’ve very much enjoyed and gained from reading others’ journals here in the past few weeks!

– Asta

[Beral KhanParticipant]

I find things in everyday life that continue to make me train towards being a Jedi Knight. lol. Somehow, I know you feel that way too. I am glad to see you post here. Of course, you have your own you post at as well, but giving people new to the path a way (and not so new. ) an opportunity  to see YOUR path can be a great service in learning.

[Anonymous]

This week is more on track than last week.

As far as my online Jedi Path – it feels as if long-hanging decisions were made.  Not especially by me – but simply re-directed – and as is often the case the Path decides to take a turn.  A focus on mindfulness is a theme of this year – and so it is with “training”. 

The other arguments and upsets of the Jedi Community is something I need to let go.  I enjoy reading the various arguments in many ways – but it’s my experience that participation is simply a huge “time suck”.  Or so it is with me.  Perhaps if we, as a group, can overlook the small differences between us and recognize the similarities (and simply find the differences “interestesting” rather than “upsetting”) we can move forward.

But the focus so often in “Jedi Discussion” begins with a presumption of negativity I had not recognized before now.

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I am working-on losing weight in particular.  I am simply being “mindful” of what I eat, calories, etc..  I do not believe in diets – they are created to be an event, and in that,  must end after all. 

The one thing about simple mindfulness is that it can be interrupted by “life stuff”.  But possibly a big lesson I needed reminding-of is that it’s okay to occasionally be interrupted in any effort.  To not the small setbacks that will always happen derail one small failure into a large one.  Especially in physical things, physical effort, it seems small failures grow easily into a main Failure.

I count the calories in my head, and really consider what I eat.  That doesn’t mean I always eat the low-calorie super-good thing.  Sometimes it means I eat something that suits rather than what sounds good, or is readily available, and always with a realization that eating isn’t simply about prepairing food and eating it – but THE FEELING AFTER – THE RESULTS.

It’s a day-by-day effort for me that is growing easier with time.  It’s being mindful of what eating is to my life – immediately, daily, and long-term.  I have never been so thoughtful of the all-around considerations of what I am putting into my old bod.  Not the “effect” but the very real daily needs of nourishment and how it will effect my day – and also the next – and in 10 years…

It’s a very different way for me to experience eating.  A mindfulness. 

It simplifies my effort in losing weight.  Right now I am not concerned with “fitness” but simply losing weight but far more – what nourishment and eating truly is in life not just by the meal, or the day, but how it effects the future.

I do not always make “the right” choice.  Occasionally that is just fine.  Last week went on a bit too long – and I think what I learned from last week was to not ignore the future for the troubles or dissappointments of the present.  The present passes soon enough…  heh…

[Anonymous]

The last couple of days have been a real challenge at work. 

Manufacturing in Asia – particularly China – is becoming interesting.  One of my suppliers called me from China to tell me he couldn’t get in a product I carry – and that it wouldn’t be available for a couple of months …

The reason? 

The Chinese workers are going froma 12 hour day to – like the U.S. – an 8 hour work day and over-time.  So – slower and more expensive manufacturing.  But humane – and I am ALL for this.  I’ve never liked the cheap and easy off the backs of others.  I suspect the good and bad fallout will be manufacturing returning more and more to the US.  And the balancing of global commerce and quality of life for the working classes – like me.  Like you.  Like just about everyone…

The days of so cheap it’s easier to throw it away are likely going to be climbing upon us more quickly than I would have realized.  I figured it would slowly happen in the next five years – but with oil prices, political unrest, and regular Joe and Jane (or culturally similar names) in more oppressed societies demanding their rights it is snowballing into a much faster worldwide change.

But it will be difficult.  It will be uncomfortable. 

In the end – I believe in people wanting what is best for the most rather than what is simply best for “me”.  I see humans heading towards society as this – and more selfish behavior becoming less and less – and as such – we are pioneering (especially those younger generations) a truly whole new world.

Exciting times we live in…

[Beral KhanParticipant]

I have had a theory that Multinational companies are putting jobs where they can be cheapest and will move them to other countries once formal rules and regs are put in place and the cost of doing business in those countries move to a certain point (as they did here in the U.S.).  While in the other countries those multinationals will work on de-regulating the ones they have already been in so they can break them down to a point where they get cheap labor again.

With that in mind, consider what is happening here in the U.S.  If they break the backs of labor they can once again bring back the jobs at a cheaper rate for the workers and get the tax breaks from each state as they do in the other countries and pay less to have things made.

The sad part is that they sell the cheap imports to the countries they used to have jobs in thus bleeding the country of its money and not putting back into it (where did all the U.S. Money go?) until they have sufficiently broke that country.  this is the short version of my theory anyway. Talk to you on Monday! Have a great weekend.

[Anonymous]

Multi-nationals…  It’s complex isn’t it?  Did you know that General Electric which earned 4 billion last year paid no taxes (basically).  The legal loopholes have made an unjust society – even within this country.  Agreed!

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Observing. 
Progressing down the Jedi Path, for me, has been to see the fog rather than seeing beyond the fog.
I speak of the fog of ignorance, simple ignornace, where, simply and innocently, unaware or uninformed, we cannot see beyond that fog and that care must be taken.  The fog will lift or lessen and what is real will unveil.
I have been slowly learning through practicing mindfulness that what many of us “see” are often our perceptions/hopes/fears/dreams cast upon the fog and reflected back to us.  In the reflection on the fog what is actually our perceptions look like the truth, or looks like the happenings in our lives.
It is frightening to know that we do not know.
I often have to stop, when I want to grasp at some answer or accept some truth, that it may simply be that I do not yet really have the facts or the truth.  Or that others who claim to know something may be also reading what they see on the fog…
Our natural state is living in ignorance – and for me – that is an incredibly uncomfortable truth.  I’d prefer to believe “I know.”
I’d prefer to believe if I do not know – I can reliably use my conjecture.
***********
There are times, and recent times, I would like to jump-into a discussion or happening and give what I “know” to be the truth.  Perhaps to how the true character of someone who someone else seems to admire – even if I have the recorded, undoubted words that show this person to be…  well…  in their worse moments.  Perhaps swearing and screaming – attacking others – perhaps using sexual insults in uncontrolled rage – or simple foolishness and gullibility.

A constant buffoon.  An unstable blow-hard.  Front-schmoozing backstabber, a failed money-grubber. 

But wait.   

There are people who choose to act badly.  They act badly time and again.  They will continue to act badly and others will experience them and their bad choices.  (I speak of simple bad behavior – not illegal or violent but rather the more social ills of what was once called Ungentlemanly or Unladylike behavior.)

Negative, trouble-making, uncaring, arrogant – invectives could be hurled.  Personal insults can fly easily.

But do we join in the insult-throwing or do we see it for what it is?  An entertaining, if mildly toxic, lightshow reflected on the fog?

Another question I have newly come to ask myself is:  If there is a truth behind the trouble is it of any worth or importance?  If it does not – why waste the time and effort – am I that bored?

I have been guilty of allowing myself a lot of boredom in my past – even fairly recent past.  I do regret being bored – what a way to spend  life…  bored.

There are many things to caution against – and one of the greatest I have come to learn – really only in the last year – is to beware of boredom.  Boredom has caused most of my social bad behaviors and if I am bored I am not spending my life mindfully. 

It’s particularly easy to be bored online.

But more importantly to me – I recongize how often we are bored as people and amuse ourselves by playing at life in the fog rather than truly living.

It is why I chose “living mindfully” for this years project “theme” for myself.

The Jedi Path is not one to live in boredom. 

[Jedi_PhoenixModerator]

I like that post about the fog and its something I’ve been considering of late.  I worked through a lot of the fog, or so I thought about a year ago.  I thought I named all my ‘demons’ and dealt with them.  But  I realized all I did was notice the illusion of the fog.  For me at least, there are triggers for the fog, and that is what I am starting to address now.  For instance, the biggest trait I’ve been working on is the five parts of the Jedi Code.  I’ve been trying to repeat it a few times a day in my head; and its amazing how simple yet complex the words are.  Instead of seeing someone as angry, I see them just as emotional, and I want to bring them closer to peace.  Or more internally, I want to bring myself closer to peace.  I want to remove the fog, but it is hard.

And as far as knowing, do we ever really know? There are so many sides to any one argument, and knowing isn’t always the best approach.  Sometimes simply asking for clarification, and allowing someone else the opportunity to be heard is enough to gain knowledge on both sides of an argument. 

I like your theme of being mindful though =] I hope it continues to bring you insights :meditate

[Kol DrakeModerator]

There is no emotion, there is peace.
There is no ignorance, there is knowledge.
There is no passion, there is serenity.
There is no chaos, there is harmony.
There is no death, there is the Force.

There will always be times when ‘the fog rolls in’. 
Using these lines as the bit of drift wood to cling to while awash in a sea of ‘foggy-ness’ can be the starting point for building back up and dispersing said fog.  Either as a mantra or a single line which addresses the situation, it is the ‘mustard seed of truth’ from which you can always build a foundation upon.

[Anonymous]

It is hard to overcome that boredom without a lot of free time to look inside yourself. Who you really are? Is that what you want to stay? Let’s start moving on to somewhere by first seeking how to make it possible what I want.

I would not have found my way out of boredom without going to live in forest for 2 years. My destination was an uninhibited island. Life went the other route. But loneliness for 1,5 years, without TV, radio, internet, calendar, clock, people who seek social life I did found. I simply had to shed my pettiness in order to survive in wild nature. Do what needs to be done or die of hunger. Be cautious, or get bitten by some freaking snake or shot by criminals evading authorities. Such BS ruined the experience, but when the peace lasted. It is you, and beautiful nature. You look outside. You look inside. You see beauty outside. You see… You naturally come to think “I don’t want to be so ugly within, I want to be as beautiful and magnificent as nature/universe around”. You have nothing to be bored of but yourself. Then you start making yourself more interesting. You take up studies of esoteric teachings that as if ordered where brought to you by passing people, naturalists seeking life in solitude as well. You learn to play musical instruments or listen to that woman or guy playing trombone at sundown. The sound of water ever echoing in your ears. The mysteries of old chi kung masters, buddhists, shamanists start to become part of your world view. Everything is flowing around you, growing and blossoming in Mother Earths embrace. You too start to grow and blossom by support of Mother Earth and guidance of Father Sun.
You ask for their wisdom and they will answer.

I would have been an ordinary person without that journey. Although I always was into intellectuality and freedom in many things, so i was bullied even by my parents… that apathy they caused in me could have led to… end of me.

Inspiration, a belief I too can find freedom like characters in Carlos Castaneda books did found, opened the gates of life for me.

Consider what could inspire you. Start seeking it. Once you are fulfilled, you will never lack anything. Because you will have yourself, full of wonders.

[Anonymous]

Thanks for the adivce, guys!  I really appreciate the support!  It’s helpful to hear the various understandings and experiences!  Phoenix – sounds like we’re kind of on a bit of a similar turn in the Path at this time…  heh…

I am not sure I made myself very clear – but I consider that there is the fog of ignorance or simple lack of all the facts or knowledge perpetually around me.  I recognize it – and it has made me a far more mindful person.

And yes Kol – the Jedi Code (of which I am a huge fan) helps to keep me mindful that there are those things which can either create faulty perceptions for me to misjudge what is around me – or message – people – data – things…  I made my ice-water mug with the Jedi Code on it…  LOL….  I should take a photo – it’s pretty silly I suppose – but I drink ice-water at home constantly and it helps to have it before me.

Neo – it sounds like you’ve had a very interesting couple of years.  Do you have a training journal or blog where you discuss such an unusual and interesting Path experience?  I know you could not keep one at the time – but there are not many of us who could/would/or WANT to live in the wilderness.  Yet – I know I would be interested in learning from your experience there!  I think many others would as well!

Let me add – it was not at all easy for me to acknowledge that I live in what I call “the fog” – and have to be careful/mindful to see the truth.    Through training, really it was hard work, I got my head much more cleared over the last two years especially.  I’ve never been a terribly muddy person, and most would consider me pretty together, it was that I realized that even someone who seems to have it together cannot have a keen understanding of what surrounds them without real effort and awareness – it’s not simple or everyday. 

I do rather think of Plato’s Allegory of the Cave – which I read and worked on in high school philosophy but did not truly understand until now.  I got the gist of it – but real truth and awareness is almost blinding occasionally.  And yet – so many people seem to be unaware of what I call “the fog”. 

Plato used the shadows cast against a cave’s wall as how I refered “the Fog” – and those who make it into the sunlight find it painful.  I found the experience painful.  I yet find it painful and likely always will – but it is no longer frightening. 

I have grown to accept that The Fog surrounds us – but that an aspect of being a Jedi (to me) is gaining the knowledge/wisdom/skill to know it and work to find the truth amid it.

My Apologies if “the fog” is not a great description.  It’s how I think of it…  There is likely a much better term.

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I had Sunday/Monday off for my weekend – and today it snowed.  Ugh…  So I stayed inside and did some R&R, some thinking/meditation, the usual household stuff, and then I put together my exercise bike – my injured knee finally able to handle some sort of work-out.    Woo-hoo!

Knowing myself – and my need for self-accountability – I found an app for my Droid called “MyFitnessPal”  you can add a .com to use it on a PC.  It allows me to track my calories, has already figured how many I should be eating, track work-outs, has a huge food database so will likewise track my daily nutritional values. 

For FREE…  

Now that I have a Droid – (and yes the R2D2 version is doing great after about a month – I use it so much more than I would have expected) – I know I will track myself on my phone more than at the PCs I’ve got. 

I had to weigh myself for the first time in about 3 weeks – to imput data – and oy.  I was doing really well this late winter – it was really the last few days that I sort of fell-off on my efforts.  CRAZY 3 weeks – it seems things have settled a bit – and if I can be organized and keep track – have an easy work-out – I’m good.

As I built up the bike in the basement – I have an 80 year old house – no frills basement – I realized how nice it will be in summer because it’s FREEZING down there in summer – and oddly snug in winter.  I’ve got regular air fans because I do line-drying in the basement to save on electricity so it’s pretty fresh and dry.  Lots of light and I have set up a pretty good radio/mp3 sound system and a little old TV that will play movies if I really want to spend quality time on the bike.

So – here it goes…  Going from working on fitness to having it really set-up and being healthy enough to do it.  (I hope I can avoid a knee injury for another 40-some years – I never knew what HELL it was.)

I think the accountability will especially help me.  I like having lists, keeping track, even if it’s just for my own view…  I will also keep a more generalized tracking in my training journal here.  It may not be for everyone – but some public accountability and sharing seems to keep me on track.

[Author]

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