What keeps me going I would initially describe as a restlessness. A kind of empty feeling. Things are not quite right as they are. Then I would label it with a sense of vocation, a response to a calling. A response to the restlessness. Yes I am here, I want to respond with everything I am. Things have to change. When I did let go, this experience followed me like a shadow. To return was an experience, a confirmation, this is right thing. Life is rolling on and I don`t want to come to the end of it thinking, what a waste of time.