“Why do we fall? So we can learn to pick ourselves up.”
I heard this quote in a movie and thought how true this is. People learn the best and quickest when they’ve fallen down. The key in the quote is, learn to pick ourselves up. In order to learn we have do experience it ourselves. Things can be learned obviously through rote techniques but learning by experiencing is the most efficient way. If, every time we fall someone is there to pick us up and brush us off we will never learn.
For example, let’s take a gambler. If they keep going to the casino and losing more and more money eventually it will begin to take a toll on their personal life. If they have their parents or someone else who will keep lending them money to cover their debts they will never learn and will continue to gamble. What incentive is there when your money is continually replaced when you lose it? There isn’t, you will continue gambling because there is no need to learn how to control your problem or stop it. If that same person does not have anyone there to bail them out each time eventually they will hit rock bottom. With no one there to help them they will realize they have fallen too far and will have to learn how to get themselves out of their situation and back on stable ground. Now, sometimes they will continue to fall with no end of it coming but many will learn how to turn their lives around for the better. This is because they have fallen and then learned how to pick themselves back up.
If you see someone going through this be careful you don’t aid the problem. Help them out where and when you can but make sure you don’t sustain the problem. Help them back on their feet and if they come to you for help it’s not always best to fully help. Obviously each circumstance is different. I will use a personal example. I graduated from college almost 2 years ago. I moved back to NY with my Fiancé and we have currently been living with my family. My fiancé found a job rather quickly but for me it has been much more difficult. With only one car I am limited to the town I reside in which happens to be a college town. I have applied at every job in town but I’m either over qualified or else it is a career and not a job I can use till I get a teaching job. Now my family could say get out and you need to make it on your own but in this case they are not helping the problem. Now, if I sat home all day on my butt not doing anything then they are definitely helping the problem but with me actively hunting and applying they are helping in a positive way. So there is definitely a difference and if you are approached be careful in the way you help. You might think you are helping someone up when instead you are picking them up.
When you have fallen, try to find the cause so you can learn from it and then be able to pick yourself up. Walking down the street if you trip and just pick yourself up you might fall down again later because you didn’t figure out why you fell. If you had just looked down you might have noticed your shoelace was untied and that’s what you tripped over. Learn from your mistakes and move on. Do not dwell on the past but do not forget it either.