The DarkSide

The Dark Side

First off, get the picture of Darth Vader breathing heavily from a black everything, scream evil, ugly, and annoying. That's not the dark side.

The dark side is not a disease. It is not a sickness. It is not alive. It can't think, move, or so any signs of life or intelligence. You can't be made to go to the dark side. You can't say that you had no choice.

The darkside, in the most simplest of terms is your thoughts, emotions, actions, and intents that are negative and harmful to yourself and to others.

Now, let's go into what the dark side is.

The dark side is fear, guilt, anger, rage, depression, a sense of lost, hopelessness, revenge and anything that is related, directly or not, to negativity.

Let's next go into how I can talk about this:

I have spent my life, the short 22 years, living in the darkside. Although I would like to say that a 5 year old does not have anything really "dark" about them, I did live in a abusive family with my sister being abused, along with my mother. It was just hidden from me or I didn't notice it. I didn't notice anything until I was about 15 when my father hit me. I only had vague understanding that there was a large amount of anger in my home. Over the years I became increasing aware of the anger, fear, guilt, and so on that went on in me and everyone connected to me. It is through these years of suffering from others and myself, that I have learned a lot about the dark side.

The darkside is like a drug. Though I have often wondered if drugs are not part of the dark side. These feelings are highly addicting, even if you don't like them. Few people mean to "go" over to the dark side, but all the same, they do. And most often, they don't know, don't care, or won't admit they are once in. It is easy to be in a bad mood, but it is hard to realize you can't live in a constant bad mood or that you should do something about it. As humans, we love drama and drama is all about negative feelings aimed at everyone and one's self. So it is natural that we would rather live in a world of negative and very harmful drama than to do the more right and healthy thing and fix ourselves.

The dark side is also contagious. Dad comes home, in a bad mood. He yells at the mom. The mom yells back. The teen yells at the parents for ruining her conversation on the phone. The kids cry. Total chaos from one person being negative. Also, even those who have no clue to what psi or empathy is, can pick up on emotions easily. This comes from my earlier post about sub/un conscious connection to the flow of energy. You can walk into a room and just know the mood of the room, even if you had no idea what had been going on before or didn't try to notice the mood. People pick up on these emotions and react, generally mirroring the emotion. If someone is fearful, you get fearful.

The darkside is not easy to fight. First you have to realize what has happened to you and why. Then you have to come to realize you have to do something about it. Then comes the method and carrying out the method. I can tell you from person experience, I don't get to the first step for weeks if not months. For me, depression and fear are the worse. Both feel as though they cling to me. And I have never had a good answer to fear. The fear I deal with in deep. It spreads and grows more when I try to fight it or release it. It comes back even if I get rid of it. But that comes from the fact that I live in a situation with new fears cropping up nearly every day.

You always have a choice. Yes, really. At some point, sub or conscious, you decided to get angry and act. You decided to let the fear get you. You decided to go to the dark side. It may not sound that way, but it's true. You can try to justify it all you want, but that doesn't make the fact go away. You decided to cause harm to yourself and therefore, harm to others. By trying to deny it, you are only making the matter worse. This is harsh to hear, but the darkside is harsh in itself.

The darkside feels great and completely right. Oh yeah. It's a ton of fun. While angry, you feel good. It won't be for too long, but it does feel like the best thing in the world. You wouldn't feel it otherwise. When you seek revenge, no matter what the reason, you did it because you wanted to. You found the strength to ignore your morals and that little voice inside. You pushed the guilt past yourself. You told yourself you would deal with the wrongness of your anger later. What you were doing had to be done right then with no excuses.

The darkside is not impossible to stop. But is it darn hard. You can stop digging that hole. You can, even when in the deepest sh*t, can realize what has happened and turn yourself around. No one is lost forever. And yes, I dare to argue holy Star Wars Yoda's wisdom on this point. Hitler could have turned around and honestly apologized for what he had done. Of course, he didn't, because he didn't see what he was doing was wrong on a basic level. So many other leaders have choice his path, but not all. The choice is personal and can be made at any point in one's life. Even my father, who I can't stand, still has the chance to realize all the horrors he has done and be truly sorry for them. The chance is low, but still not impossible.

Anyway that's all I can think of for now. I don't really mean to teach, but this is how I think. I hope you all can understand how important this topic is to me.