Flexibility and Thanksgiving

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Jax created the topic: Flexibility and Thanksgiving

I apologize for neglecting this group. I've been in survival mode so to speak for about a month. However, there's a light at the end of the tunnel! So today I'm sharing some lessons from my life.

Right now, a lot of people are preparing for Thanksgiving. Normally we cook a full meal with a turkey breast and traditional sides from our family. My wife contributes the best parts, and I make a pumpkin pie with half the sugar added. Why? I made the mistake of not adding ANY sugar one year, realized it was still edible, and from then on made a half sugar pie. lol

How often do we make 'mistakes', just to find they worked out in our favor?

This month my wife has been sick or injured. For at least the last month she hasn't been able to cook. This has happened in prior years, where she mostly did some of the seasoning and prep from bed, and I did the rest. I don't mind, and we all have a lot of wonderful food. This year we're doing it even more differently. Rather than cook and then spend the next 3 days working all day, we're cooking tomorrow (most likely) and enjoying it through Thanksgiving day. That day will be one of rest instead.

When a family member has chronic illness and pain, you have to learn to be flexible. I still struggle with flexibility, but hopefully this is a sign that I'm finally getting it.

What struggles are you dealing with? Where can you be more flexible and adjust to still have at least some of what you want and accommodate the challenges? And if no struggles, what are you planning for Thanksgiving?
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Johannes (Yoshio) replied the topic: Flexibility and Thanksgiving

As you might or might not know we don't celebrate Thanksgiving here but still the topic applies to me in so many ways especially in the key points of flexibility and acceptance. I still find myself, more often than I would like it, wanting to be able to control, even dictate everything so that things are coming along the way I would like them to be.
But having a little one teaches one more than just one lesson. In addition to that I find my job life to be still very challenging and right now I'm, once again, even further away from what I want my future to be than I had been just one or two years ago.
What I do is to remind me on that not everything has to be achieved by tomorrow and that by time things will still work the way I want them and therefore I don't need to force something on me or others. Still a hard lesson for me to accept and learn but more than worth it as, in the long run, it pays off more than as if I would be able to push something through or force it to happen. Sometimes things just need their time and when time and place and "action" come together I have experienced that finally all will be good. Maybe not in the way one originally planned it to be but still good or sometimes even better.

Right now I do my best to live on a daily base and being open and acceptable as much as I can remember myself to be. I and we as a family have ideas and plans for the future but we all can just take one step after another.
For me this means we, as a family, are "working" on getting a second child happening as it is, due to our conditions, not that easy for us.
After achieving this we would need to make the next major decision meaning one of us has to quit a job which is connected to making a decision of where we want to spend our lives, at least for the next couple of years if not decades.
Obviously this decision might hold another move for us to another country of which we not yet know where it might lead us.
Together with all those things on the horizon as a family, I'm still on my personal quest of how and in which way I can make Feng Shui and my education as a consultant into something which would, finally, pay for a living for a family - at least as a second income.

But luckily we are in the save position that my wife and I do have save jobs which do pay a decent income which is enough so that we can live from just one as a family without too many restrictions. For me, this is what makes it possible for us to be patient and let time work for us. But, although I know that, it is still hard for me to be patient, to be acceptable and "go with the flow" or, as Jax had put it, being flexible.

Qui-Gon Jinn: "We cannot control our emotions, but we can decide how we go along with them."
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Kol Drake replied the topic: Flexibility and Thanksgiving

Just a little over a year ago, my mom had a stroke. She suddenly lost the ability to speak and had general body weakness from the stresses of the stroke, etc. So, rather than the full blown, giant turkey and all the fixings -- we signed on with a local food establishment who make up 'meals to order'. Since she was still in recovery at a hospital, we got to bring in the turkey, mash potatoes, etc. and 'celebrate' around her bed.

A year later, she is home and gets around as well as a good percentage of 87 year olds... though her speech ability is still minimal. And, again, we are going the 'prepared meal' way... though we will be 'celebrating' at home this time.

Spending 3-4 days preparing the meal and all the fixings AND basically camping out in the kitchen the entire day OF Thanksgiving has never seemed like a 'holiday' to me. In my very early years, it was -- all the women in the kitchen and all the 'men' watching football games and cracking open the bottles of 'not for kids' beverages. Times change and some men like to show off their cooking skills. But, to me, toiling for 3-4 days to 'show off' is a bad use of energy (and holiday days). I'm all for a 'Thanksgiving Pizza' if it meant being able to unwind, kick up my feet and actually enjoy the 'day off' from typical labors.
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Chris-Tien Jinn replied the topic: Flexibility and Thanksgiving

I've had to adjust my expectations of holidays quite a lot over the past few years. My parents & brother and my husband's parents have all passed on. And my married daughter juggles having holidays not only with us but with her husband's divorced parents - so, they come and stay with us on the way to and from spending the holiday with my son-in-law's families. But we don't get to seem the on the actual day.

I'll be honest, this was really, really hard on me last year (the first year after my mother's death), but our neighbors invited us over to spend time with them and their extended family. That was such a kindness that it really redeemed the event and has become the new tradition. AND it helps both families because we share the work of cooking!!

And, I realized that I actually get to spend MORE time with my daughter this way. It's a good situation, but it didn't look like it at first.

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Jax replied the topic: Re:Flexibility and Thanksgiving

Thank you for sharing. We ended up cooking on Thanksgiving as my wife wasn’t up to it before. And she had a lot of help prepping from her mom. So I went outside and mowed the lawn, which is crazy to think of but we’ve had a warm fall. Since then things have been a little better with my wife cooking more during the day and having leftovers for dinner. We continue to find ways that work for us even though they are the opposite of what we think is normal.


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Jax replied the topic: Re:Flexibility and Thanksgiving

I find it interesting that all of us in this thread are older, with families of varying ages. I wonder if any of you younger Jedi found this of benefit. Care to weigh in?


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