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Institute for Jedi Realist Studies - Dealing with death - Institute for Jedi Realist Studies

Dealing with death

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Brandon created the topic: Dealing with death

As a result of a couple of things happening in my life I thought I would ask this of the community to see how other people within the order think of this. As Jedi we are taught "There is no Death, There is the Force" and to, as Yoda said to Anakin, "Rejoice for those who become one with the Force. Mourn them do not, miss them do not." The question I have is does everyone here follow this principle and how do the non-Jedi around you perceive this? Through my experience I feel like by doing what we are taught to do we are seen as heartless and uncaring by people who do not understand the ways of the Force, due to our ability to move on and stay focused on the present better than most. What do you think of this concept?
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Kol Drake replied the topic: Dealing with death

Who morns 'best'?
Someone who grieves and wears black for a year and then moves forward with the pain?
Someone who cries rivers; rents their clothing over the closed casket and closes down to everything?
Someone who regrets the loss and then tries to keep their world and those of others who are feeling similar pain?

We are all different. Unique in our self-ness.
Why should we have to compare or compete for best performance?
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Brandon replied the topic: Dealing with death

no, I'm not asking who mourns best, I'm just asking if others here have the same thought process and if anyone else here has had a similar experience as I have.
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Tai-Da Vrikaurvan replied the topic: Dealing with death

I think the important thing to remember is we all need time to mourn, bottling up emotions as such isn't healthy. We all mourn differently but as a Jedi death and how we should deal with it is something that cannot be taught on its own. We all experience death at some point in our lives and that is indeed the best teacher for this topic.

I feel that the Jedi code and the mindset developed by the training forms a stable position for one to deal with such a situation. If my mother was to die tomorrow I would be devastated but I would be stronger in the sense of my training and my views about what death is if that makes sense.

Jedi Apprentice Tai-Da Vrikaurvan
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Former Apprentice to Streen Ynr

“It's not how much we give but how much love we put into giving.”
― Mother Teresa

"Look to the future and your eyes cannot shut. Look to the past and you can't open them. Live in the moment, and you can blink."
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Memnoich replied the topic: Dealing with death

there is a part in the book "The Way of the Peaceful Warrior", that to me applies to this quite well. In this part, a restaurant owner, who is a friend of Socrates, one of the main characters in the book, loses his restaurant to a fire, completely burnt to the ground. When approached by the Main Character, He is seen to Sob and cry for a few minutes, but by the time the Main Character gets to him, he is done. When asked, the owner says simply, " I grieved, I let myself feel the emotion, let it pass through me, and do what it needs to do, and then moved on" admittedly I don't have the book here, so this is paraphrasing.
In the tv show lost, Jack talks about taking 5 mins to feel, because letting your emotions take over is a waste of time and energy, but not letting them run their course bottles it up to where it explodes. By taking the 5 mins, you are controlling the emotions and yet still letting them run their course.

To me this all boils down to one thing, there is nothing wrong with grieving, in your own way, but like the Jedi say, don't let your emotions control you, let them go, let them do their healing, then move on.

.oO Memnoich Oo.
"Do or do not, there is no try" ~Yoda
"Shared pain is lessened, shared joy increased." ~Spider Robinson


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Tai-Da Vrikaurvan replied the topic: Dealing with death

Well said Memnoich I completely agree.

Jedi Apprentice Tai-Da Vrikaurvan
Apprentice to Jedi Phoenix
Former Apprentice to Streen Ynr

“It's not how much we give but how much love we put into giving.”
― Mother Teresa

"Look to the future and your eyes cannot shut. Look to the past and you can't open them. Live in the moment, and you can blink."
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Jax replied the topic: Dealing with death

I view the Yoda quote as showing a distinction between mourning for someone who's died vs grieving for your loss. I do not mourn the person who has past as they are not experiencing pain and suffering anymore, but unconditional love in the vast majority of cases. Their death is a celebration then. In the rare case where I'm aware that they haven't passed on cleanly, my focus is simply on helping them complete their journey. Either way, nothing to be sad about for them. Grieving is for me, and for my loss, and learning to adjust to them not being in my physical life anymore. That's something that can still be challenging, but it seems I keep getting practice at it, so I am finding it easier.

It helps a lot to have a pretty good handle on what happens after death, even in the worst case scenario. Most people's fears about death are based on religion, which makes it rather hard to grieve in a healthy manner if the person who died wasn't a believer.
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Memnoich replied the topic: Re:Dealing with death

Under that auspice I have to agree with Jax. Yoda is speaking of mourning the loss of someone, that their life has ended. I have always believed in Einstein's remarks about the converse I energy, they aren't gone, they are transformed. To me I have always tried to follow the Irish way of a wake, don't mourn their passing, celebrate their life. The grieving process is as Jax said, to help me adjust to them not being around anymore.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk - all typos are considered intentional and full of meaningless harassment.

.oO Memnoich Oo.
"Do or do not, there is no try" ~Yoda
"Shared pain is lessened, shared joy increased." ~Spider Robinson


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Kol Drake replied the topic: Re:Dealing with death

An Irish Wake... :cheer:

A good reason to let down your hair (if you have any) and hoist a mug of root beer to celebrate the passing, the memory, and the wonkiness of living this odd dream.

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(image courtesy of Eric Powell's award winning comic series -- The Goon)
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Brandon replied the topic: Re:Dealing with death

yes, an Irish wake is the best way to go
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