Breaking up a scuffle.

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inari created the topic: Breaking up a scuffle.

On Tuesday, I took my two little boys (4 and 3) to the community library (which is next to the TAFE or vocational college)to swap over some children’s books. I was in the car park, and had just finished strapping them in to leave when I heard a sound of a bike being dropped and angry voices behind me. I turned around to see two young men (maybe 17) swinging and yelling fairly incoherently at another young man who was still on his bike. He had his arms up, shielding his face, but the punches didn’t look they were doing too much anyway.

I looked at my kids, looked at the fight, debated with myself for about 15 seconds on what to do, then marched over to the boys, shouting ‘You stop this now or I’m calling the police’. This was 100% bluff on my part…I didn’t even have my phone on me. They didn’t know that though.

They turned to face me, and the one doing most of the swinging started yelling at me, saying how the guy on the bike was an arsehole and how he’d beaten up one of his girlfriends. The guy on the bike took his opportunity and took off during this, and the other guy who’d been swinging went back to the TAFE. I went over to the last guy, who was still yelling, and put my hand on his shoulder and listened to him while he ranted about this other guy. I suggested that he get his female friend to report the guy if he’s been hitting her, he was like ‘Oh the @#$% cops never do anything’. I pointed out that they definitely won’t do anything if they don’t tell them.

He then started with ‘I’m gonna $%%ing kill him’ and stuff like that, I said that he won’t be able to help his friend out if he’s in jail, and was that guy worth wrecking his life for if he was the arsehole? He stopped and thought about that then, and the guy that went to the TAFE came back with some of their friends (presumably) so I said goodbye and went back to my car (and kids).

As I walked back to the car, I realised how wobbly my legs were feeling and had to take a few deep breaths as I got into the car (to be assailed by 'Why were those men fighting mum?' from the kids).

I'm already booked for a diplomacy and conflict resolution workshop in September. I'm looking forward to it, I'm sure I could have handled this better.

Inari
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Icarus replied the topic: Re: Breaking up a scuffle.

WOW, Inari!

It sounds like you did just fine without the workshop.

Go, Mum!!!

You know, it's more difficult when children are with you and things like this happen. I have always told my children that if I ever look at them a certain way, and shout, "RUN!" that they are to run as far away as they can (taking their baby brother with them) and call the police. I do retain that fear that my oldest son would never run away and would stay there to protect his mom, but I can only hope that they would follow what they have been taught. It's so scary with the kids because even though we know, as Jedi, what our obligations are, we do not have the right to endanger the kids in tow with us.

I'm so proud of you!!! And you probably taught your children a lesson that will stay with them forever. Good job!
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  • Anora'Una Ilorn
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Anora'Una Ilorn replied the topic: Re: Breaking up a scuffle.

Yeah, that was wonderful! I used to break up kids fighting in elementary, lol, hardly a comparison, but i would be shaking afterwards myself. Confrontation can take a lot out off a person. Sounds like you did a wonderful job, you didn't endanger your children and possibly managed to keep some people from being really hurt. Congrats.

~May The Force Be With You Always~

~What I hope most of all is that you understand what I mean when I tell you that though I do not know you and even though I may never meet you, laugh with you, cry with you, or kiss you, I love you. With all my heart, I love you~
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Digi replied the topic: Re: Breaking up a scuffle.

As the others have said...Good Job! 
In this day and age it seems that most people would just look at the situation and not do anything at all.  There was a 91 year old WWII Vet that was recently beaten up here in Michigan just for his car...and a large group of people just stood around doing nothing, just watching while the man was punched repeatedly over two dozen times.  I was psychically sick to my stomach after watching the video...I wish someone like you would have been there to at least call the police or yell for him to stop.  I know it would have been a slightly different outcome had I been there.

Thanks for helping me keep faith in humanity,

Corey

Link to Story about WWII Vet.  http://wcbstv.com/topstories/local_story_134175140.html
WARNING VIDEO CONTAINS GRAPHIC VIDEO FOOTAGE

This is your world.  These are your people.  You can live for yourself today, or help build tomorrow for everyone.
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inari replied the topic: Re: Breaking up a scuffle.

I've done martial arts too Corey, no way I'd have just stood there watching. That's just disgusting. Heck, perhaps even shaming the crowd into doing something might have worked, at least on some.

There was a time when I saw a fight that I wanted to intervene in and didn't. I was in a shopping mall and a man grabbed a women who'd been running away from him (I had my back to them and didn't see all that) and then was punching and kicking her and screaming that she'd taken his money (sounded like a relationship gone sour). Unfortunately, I was 6 or 7 months pregnant with my first child at the time, and wouldn't have been much help. I was waddling off to find a police officer or security guard when one of the shop owners came out and hauled him off her. There were plenty of people (who weren't pregnant or old) who just stood there and gaped though.
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Icarus replied the topic: Re: Breaking up a scuffle.

That is called "bystander apathy." You know the old saying, "There's safety in numbers"??? It's a lie. It's actually been proven that the larger a crowd is, the less likely an individual will be to help another individual. They will look to others to provide assistance. That's known as "diffusion of responsibility." In fact, the only way that most people will provide aid is if a police officer, fireman, doctor, or some other "higher up" tells them directly to do so. This is because they are singled out and the responsibility to act is then placed directly on them, but they always have the safety net of saying, "I just did what that cop told me to do. It's not my fault."

It's a serious problem that we have in our society. Bystander apathy is a disgusting fact of our lives in our current civilization and one that all Jedi must strive to extinguish.

Want more terrible stories? How about a little girl that was raped in a bathroom? The friend of the rapist walked in, saw what the guy was doing and then walked out of the bathroom. The rapist then broke the little girl's neck. He is in prison. The friend? Yeah right. He has stated that the publicity of the case has actually gotten him more dates.

Or how about this one? Look up Kitty Genovese.

Or maybe this little story: A man had gotten very angry with his girlfriend. She happened to be a dog breeder. In front of around thirty people, he took the puppies and broke their necks and then threw them into the garbage. Not one of those thirty people did anything. Finally, the man grabbed the woman, and the mama dog and jumped in a truck and drove away. A child finally contacted police.

Sorry, this is something that bothers me to the upteenth level.
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