Jax Training Journal

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Jax replied the topic: Re: Jax Training Journal

Yesterday I had a very scary run in with the kitchen.  First some backstory.  We have these good quality pans (wolfgang puck) that are not only stove top pans but can go in the oven.  I usually forget this, it seems wrong to put a fry pan/skillet in the oven.  Well, yesterday I was making herb roasted/baked (not sure which is the right term) chicken.  I managed to season them properly for once, and Carrie said I should brown them in the pan first, then bake.  She thought about it some more and said no, just put them in the oven.  So I put the pan in the oven and all was well.  The chicken turned out quite yummy, with flavor but not overseasoned.  I also made mashed yellow potatoes so they wouldn't need butter (my new favorite) and lima beans (Carrie's favorite).  Since she was an arm down due to dislocating her should 2 times the day before, I cut up her chicken and brought her food to her.  Then I proceded to prepare my plate.  One complication was the lack of a clean fork.  I had plastic forks or metal spoons.  I chose the spoon, which isn't good to move chicken from pan to plate.  This is when my brain made a critical error.  I saw a pan, one that 99.9% of the time is on the stove top and not in the oven, so I just reached down and picked it up to move it to the counter and transfer my chicken safely without risk of dropping.  It was about the time I had this rather heavy pan 9 inches in the air that the searing pain hit - perhaps because I was searing my palm?  yeah... The full pain didn't hit until I was halfway to the sink to turn on the cold (lukewarm in texas) water.  I was then able to yell for carrie to come in and get me ice since that water wasn't very cold and not doing much good.  I started on a gel ice pack and then asked for a bag of real ice with water so it could conform around my fingers better.  This was better than the gel pack, though it took a little extra time getting cold.

The pain was less than I expected, but I found myself crying without realizing I was crying.  I think I was in shock really, because I knew just how hot that pan had been and this had to have been worse than anything I did before.  After all, it was my entire left hand.  As the ice cooled things down the pain would ease off, then come back in waves, and back off again.  Very odd.  I drove one handed to the drug store to get some aloe with lidocaine, which helped a little when I wrapped my hand in gauze.  It didn't stay on well at night, and I now understand why mummies always seem to unravel on Scooby Doo. lol But, but morning, after 6+ hours of solid icing I was able to use my hand without a lot of pain.  I was shocked!  There were a few spots that didn't look great, but no blisters.  I used the special bandages with sterile water meant for burns to cover the worst areas.  Now, I'm using my hand just like normal and don't think I'll have to wrap it or bandage it at all tomorrow.  It's amazing!  It's the power of ice, because I didn't do anything else.  Now, the only difference is my hand looks a little wrinkled and there are one or two red areas.  That's it!  That pan had been in the oven at 475 degrees for almost 30 minutes, and then under the broiler for a few minutes.  It had only been cooling for a few minutes.  How did I not get a severe burn?  I'm beyond greatful, but this is unexpected.  I'm certainly glad we don't have to tag team monkey to give him his insulin since I have 2 good arms again.

Note, this is the second time I've injured my left palm.  The cat claw wound only just stopped hurting (took much longer than I expected) and then I did this.  But this turned out to not be a big deal.  Very odd.  I do have a forward plan though.  Next time I cook this way, a hot pad stays on the handle to remind me!

Anyway, we had another unexpected event today.  Blas, my incredibly wise 18 year old 4 lb cat decided to be curious and smell Carrie's coke glass.  Then Carrie woke up, tiny Blas in her infinite wisdom panicked and knocked over the glass...right onto the laptop.  Apparently the laptop turned itself off, which doesn't bode well.  So I did some research on cheap laptops.  I ended up going with Best Buy who had a Toshiba Satellite L305 for $360.  While there I picked up Beatles Rock Band for the weekend and there went half my paycheck! lol  But, Carrie's laptop is really medical equipment in our house.  From the audiobooks she listens to when insomniatic, or when too sick to get out of bed, to netflix, all of which maintain her mental health.  Plus she can play games to rebuild her brain, practice typing and such.  All important things for her rehab.

To ensure this doesn't happen again, I ran to walmart and got a simple wire 2 shelf thing.  The PS3 goes on top, the laptop slips in the middle, and any spills would then not hit the most expensive electronics.  I meant to do that before and just didn't get around to it.  Silly me... But we live and learn.  And now I should learn to listen to my body and go to bed.  I'm just so happy to have resolved all this in a single day. :-)
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Beral Khan replied the topic: Re: Jax Training Journal

Beatles Rockband is good fun.  I played through it playing guitar and singing on Wednesday and look forward to playing it with the kids when they are home this weekend. Having multiple singers is brilliant.  I do hope the hand is feeling better.

I used to trust my force of Will.
Now I trust in the will of the Force.

Jedi Communication? Well its removing assumptions, questioning the absolutes, and asking for clarity of statements.
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inari replied the topic: Re: Jax Training Journal

I hope the hand is feeling better too, but I do want to point out that solid icing is not a good idea generally, you can burn yourself with cold as well as hot.
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Jax replied the topic: Re: Jax Training Journal

It wasn't direct ice, I had it in a plastic bag with a paper towel in between.  Many times I didn't feel it was cold enough when the pain spiked, but it was fine.  I know the conventional wisdom, but I wouldn't have escaped virtually unscathed if I had followed those directions, so I think it's overly conservative here and in many other cases. 
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Jax replied the topic: Re: Jax Training Journal

Life has been incredibly difficult this week.  However, I learned a few things, about myself from myself and from the guides.  Wednesday we went to a new neurologist with the hope that we can avoid the big county hospital that is overwhelming and very slow.  While waiting, Carrie had a long seizure so we went across the street to the ER of yet another hospital (that makes 5 in the past year and a half).  We had a frustrating encounter with the neurologist who didn't seem to understand what we were trying to explain.  He also ignored the sleep issue with is the biggest complication we have, so that went very badly and put me in a bad moon.  Thursday I tried calling a bunch of psychiatrists that claim to take Carrie's medicare to no avail.  It got to the point where I was crying in my car at lunch because we weren't getting anywhere with any doctors at all, and the fear was really starting to build.  Thankfully I was able to bounce back after lunch and regain my hope.  That allowed me to get a few other ideas to try, which I thought got us some ideas to try.  By Friday the neurology nurse had arranged for us to talk to a psych doctor at the county hospital, we just needed to come by before the scheduled MRI.  When we got there, the doctor completely backed out on seeing her and was really hostile after a while.  It was quite odd actually, and the neurology nurse was as confused as we were.  So we went to the mri just to find out Carrie's shoulders were too wide, and even if she were to fit it was about a 4 hours wait, which is really behind schedule!  At this point, Carrie had been up for 2 days, following 2 days with only a little sleep, so her body had little left to give.  She started seizing and I tried to explain to the poor people in mri why we were here, what happened with the psych people, and I was again crying with frustration.  They ended up taking her to the ER after she settled enough to move across the hospital.  So, a rough week.  But, once we got her into the ER system, things got better on my end.  Normally I wouldn't be able to release the frustration easily, even if people started to not piss me off. ;-) But, that wasn't the case.  Instead I found myself interacting very easily.  This was probably helped by people actually listening and wanting to help, but this was deeper.  I was able to move on from the frustrations in ways I've never experienced before.  This wasn't conscious, I was actually very surprised by it each time it happened.  While this week was horrible, it allowed me to see that there are some deeper changes happening within me so I don't have to consciously choose to react as I'd like. 

On the way to the hospital we had some conversations with the guides.  They told me that my astral and meditation work has been improving greatly, and the spotty nature of my results isn't a bad thing, but just me adjusting to something new - I guess a new level of ability?  They were able to explain what happened during last saturday's meditation.  Apparently I'm jumping time.  The small dark shape was actually Caller, my wolf, when he was a pup.  The theme of doors (the mention of spontaneous opening, as well as the person I saw in my astral dreaming) is related to me being close to walking through a door.  The reason I've felt uneasy is because it would be overwhelming to walk through that door at this point.  Since my reaction isn't anything I can consciously control I'm not going to walk through it before I'm ready.  This is a good thing, as I really can't handle being overwhelmed more than I already am! 

This is why it's so important to have the proper outlook toward life.  Part of the reason I see the growth (with or without guides) even in the midst of a horrible week is because I allow it.  I know that even all the bad stuff won't stay that way forever.  In fact it can change very quickly if you allow it to.  Another key is to be forgiving when you can't train as you would like so you can take advantage of the training opportunities life throws at you.  In my experience, the most difficult aspect of the Jedi path are behavioral attributes.  Knowledge comes easy, changing how you interact with people and life takes a lot of time.  This is why I feel knighthood takes many years, yet organized training takes only a few.  The completion of organized training does not make someone a knight. 

I have hope that I can reach knighthood.  I'm finally seeing the results I expect to see. It'll take plenty of time and work still, but progress is motivating.
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David (Phoenix) replied the topic: Re: Jax Training Journal

Damn Jackie! Enough challenges lately?

But it does sound like progress, I've learned to appreciate the voice of a guide (Since Eagle doesn't talk as much)

Inspiring...=]

Phoenix

"...who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat. " ~ Theodore Roosevelt
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Jax replied the topic: Re: Jax Training Journal

I want to remind myself of the things I need to write about later.

1. Carrie's soul retrieval by Icarus's Reiki master this weekend.  I'm not sure exactly what I'll be doing, but it'll be interesting either way.
2. Blas is teaching Monkey the stories of the ancient cats so he can pass them on to the next cat or dog we get, assuming they are at all special and have an interest.  Learned the previous cat I rescued as a kitten was super special, sent directly from the stars she said.  He only lived a year, i wish I had known him better then.  Our dog from that time frame was also special.  seems we're doing pretty good getting more spiritually advanced animals.  Our neighbor's dog isn't special, but she's still cute and fun and a good dog.  Seems like the spiritual development/heirarchy is similar to humans actually.
3. Reading Soul Retrieval by Sandra Ingerman which is quite interesting so far. I look forward to learning the difference from a reiki perspective rather than shaman. 

But hooray for spending the (short) weekend with Icarus and her family and teacher!
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Jax replied the topic: Re: Jax Training Journal

Tomorrow we head up to the Dallas area.  Icarus's reiki master will be leading Carrie through a soul retrieval to help her heal from all the trauma she went through in her young life.  We don't expect to fix it all in one shot, but we need to get started on this soon.  Her seizure problems are greatly complicated by her old traumas which scar her body and soul.  That's what the soul retrieval process helps with - healing the old scars so she can fully live.  So far the only thing I know is that there's a plan to do at least part of the process in a women's circle with the four of us. 

Beyond this, we all look forward to hanging out with Icarus, her teacher, and her family.  I'm loading up the plastic lightsabers and the Force Trainer toy.  The kids should have fun with that. 

What will be interesting is how the cats will be in the 4-5 hour drive.  Hopefully they don't hide come morning when we need to leave. 

I'm exhausted so I better finish watching medium and go to bed.  Since this is a short trip I'll finish packing in the morning.  Or start... lol 
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inari replied the topic: Re: Jax Training Journal

I'm looking forward to hearing about this!
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Jax replied the topic: Re: Jax Training Journal

I'm going to have to talk to Carrie about it and Andrea later to piece everything together.  I wasn't in there when they did it, and was actually really quick. I came in halfway through.  I know it was insanely painful for Carrie but important.  We spent a lot of time talking after, rather informally covering a lot of topics that help reinforce what Carrie has to work on.  We also talked about lots of other things and had a good time.  Carrie's still very exhausted and in physical pain.  She has had quite a few small absence seizures today because she's so exhausted, but she should be improving daily. 

We did have quite a few lessons in communication.  Even though we have similar beliefs, we all had different wording and understanding of the words we use.  There are still plenty of misunderstandings to clear up that there wasn't enough time for yesterday.  Patience is definitely required as well as being slow to take offense.  It's easier when dealing with people important to you, but it still takes focus.

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