Jax Training Journal

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David (Phoenix) replied the topic: Re: Jax Training Journal

Yea I was going to say I feel like I'm not doing it right because before I would do it till I was exhausted.  Honestly though its great to take it at this pace because that means I have energy to do it the next night, and the next night, and the next night.  And as I build up, hopefully I can slim down those few extra pounds! ;D ;D ;D


"...who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat. " ~ Theodore Roosevelt
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Jax replied the topic: Re: Jax Training Journal

Taming the Ego when beginning fitness programs is essential for success.  :-)
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Jax replied the topic: Re: Jax Training Journal

First, the quick. Didn't do pushups or situps friday or saturday due to scheduling. Did them tonight and did 20 pushups and 30 situps.  I find it better to do pushups first so I'm working my arms more.  Doing them after situps means my abs give out before my arms. 

Second, this morning I got a chance to apply all of my training as I helped an old Marine friend who is very sick try to make a decision.  She is very sick with an autoimmune disease, severe endometriosis and internal bleeding.  So that in and of itself could kill her, and probably 'should' have already if you listen to doctors.  But now, she's pregnant.  Due to the timing, it will probably kill her.  But, because of the endometriosis having an abortion could also kill her.  She's in a no win situation.  To top it off the father is an abusive *bleep* who she wants nothing to do with.  So...my challenge was to get her calmed down, because she's scared and feels like there's no solution.  I won't go into the details, but after an hour and a half I was able to lay out some techniques for listening to her soul and for allowing this to resolve in a way she wasn't allowing yet.  I don't feel worried, at this point I think she will be ok with her body aborting it naturally instead of having surgery, which should be the least damaging to her.  But it wasn't just damage to her body, but damage to her spirit that I was working on.  I wish we could visit her soon, but the best I can do is talk to her on the phone from time to time and give her a tool or two.  At least my stomach doesn't feel yucky, which I take as a good sign that she'll be ok.  And it was a good opportunity for me to find a way to explain things to her that she could follow.  It's not easy to start from scratch with someone when you see so many damaging beliefs hindering their movement forward.  I had to use discretion and focus on those that would help her most immediately. 

Just another example of why I'm thankful for the training I've undergone on my Jedi path.  You never know when you'll be called upon to literally save someone's life - or help them save their own.  I know she's strong enough to survive this, but she's also stubborn enough to not learn in enough time. ;-)  I think I broke her stubbornness for a little bit at least.  We'll see how long it lasts.
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David (Phoenix) replied the topic: Re: Jax Training Journal

Yea the Jedi Path is pretty great! I swear I can already name so many incidents where my Jedi training has shown through! Oh! i sense an article for the next newsletter ;D

And doh! I haven't done my exercises for THREE days now.  I will admit I wasn't feeling 100% lately, but today I'm feelin well, so I'll definitely get back in the swing of things with that.

And I know I already mentioned this but: ISn't it great? That is, to see the fruit of all this Jedi work.  Its amazing and shows that even though our training is spent working on ourselves and our own growth, the actualy situations are the reverse: working on other's and aiding them in their growth. 
Great Job with helping your friend
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"...who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat. " ~ Theodore Roosevelt
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Jax replied the topic: Re: Jax Training Journal

This is where training comes together.  Right now I am simultaneously counseling two people.  The first is a young Marine who I counseled prior to enlistment so she knew what she was getting into being a lesbian in the Marine Corps.  Unfortunately that's the type of thing that most people won't understand until it's too late.  And now she's a very angry person, isolated from everyone else, and wanting to get out.  My challenge is in helping her peel away the emotional layers to make sure she knows what is best for her.  I'll support either decision, and it does sound initially like getting out is the best option, but it's never an easy decision.  (if it was, she wouldn't be talking to me lol)  This is challenging because I'm starting with a person who was a negative person to begin with, who has now turned into an angry negative person, and needs to address it in many ways.  I'm trying to find the fastest way to get them some benefit, while building a foundation for long term growth.  All in one chat. lol  Not trying to fix everything, just plant a few seeds.  (and if this makes no sense it's because my ambien kicked in)

Then, a person I met on facebook sent me a message saying she just found out she has a blood clotting disorder and isn't allowed to have more kids.  She's got a son, but is devastated for the potential future she wanted.  Strangely enough, that's a much easier crisis for me to help with because the focus is on grieving tonight, letting it all out, and then starting fresh tomorrow with a new vision of the future.  It's a fresh start.

Seems like I'm 'back to work' again, counseling random lesbians I meet around the internet - or really who find me.  It's a rewarding job, but time consuming.  I'll take the hint though and just accept that it's time to get back to work instead of being a hermit. ;-)

This makes 3 interventions this week...
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David (Phoenix) replied the topic: Re: Jax Training Journal

Wow! I'm sure you'll tell them exactly what they need to hear! And no, your not allowed to be a hermit, someone else already took that job title lol ;D 

Phoenix

"...who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat. " ~ Theodore Roosevelt
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Jax replied the topic: Re: Jax Training Journal

I should be in bed already, but had to clean and cook lunch for tomorrow.  It's a sim day, so 7am at work, run the sim until 3, debrief until around 430 or so.  Long day.  Plus I have to get up early to get Carrie settled in the living room so our neighbor can check in from time to time if they are home. 

Well, just before I meant to go to bed, I got a phone call.  It was Carrie's cousin Whitney.  Her dog who is just a year old, started having seizures.  She knew our dog had seizures, so hoped we could tell her something to do.  Realistically, there isn't anything.  But I did find a few causes which might make sense and can be detected by a blood test, so that helped.  I hung up, went back to dishes and realized I could tell her the one thing I do.  So I called her back and explained to her my seizure treatment.  It's quite simple.  Seizures are an excess of energy in the brain going crazy.  So, it's helpful to pull away as much of the extra as you can.  Visually, imagine your arm has a vacuum inside, with the entrance on your palm and the exit out your elbow.  Then you just suck the energy out of the heady.  You're limited with how much you can pull, but it's a visual that seems to do the least damage to the self and other.  Then afterward you want to wash with salt water to make sure you aren't holding onto any of that extra energy.  I often skip that step, until I'm nagged by the guides to take a bath because my hands are filthy. lol 

So, even though I thought I'd get a day off tonight from the little missions due to an early morning sim, I was wrong!  Life is getting quite exciting, but I'm not a very good juggler.  Apparently I have to learn!  I sure hope all of this makes me a better Jedi and person!
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Jax replied the topic: Re: Jax Training Journal

I wrote this last night, but will expand on it from my blog. 

Carrie was very low in spirit, and I had to start looking for hospitals because she couldn't be trusted to be left alone.  But I don’t believe the hospitals will help her (due to the seizures), so we decided to give every trick a try tonight.  I called Andrea to ask for some reiki healing.  She was at a baseball game but called me back and didn’t hesitate to help.  I don’t know all she did, beyond adding a blue rose to help calm Carrie, but between her and a good soaking bath with lavender salts, Carrie was able to turn a corner.  While Carrie talked to Andrea following her bath,  I also soaked in the tub until I felt everything release.  It literally feels like a tremor in my chest and stomach, a cross between laughing and crying.  It doesn’t take long either, just a few minutes.  I felt so much better after my bath.  I had originally planned to do a chakra cleanse on Carrie but Andrea did all that and more with her distance Reiki, so there was no need for me to do more.

After I felt better, though my stomach is still not 100%.  Then we decided to play Rock Band and had a blast!  Music is so much better when you’re centered!  I notice it in everything.  My rhythm is better, I can relax into it more.  I noticed this many other days when I'm in the car.  I can tell how centered I am by how well I'm singing with the radio. Carrie also did better, even with the large amount of medication she’s on.  I think this is because music is something that directly taps into the soul when you let it, so being centered shows in music quickly.

*update today*
Since then I've been working real hard on releasing negativity toward work and trying to apply all of my spiritual practice to the situation there.  I'm not making it personal, but focusing on what I can do, what I control, and then being a positive influence at work.  I've planted some seeds for positive change, but I will probably need to plant some more seeds over time.  However I feel good.  Even leaving my meeting with HR this morning I felt good, even smiling.  lol  That shouldn't happen following something that's technically a writeup!  But I maintained my perspective, and that was a win for me.

I finally finished the Dharma of Star Wars.  It is very basic, but it was a good reminder to work on a few things.  Most particularly I'd benefit from an increased focus on right speech.  I just wish it was easier to remember! 
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Jax replied the topic: Re: Jax Training Journal

Over the past couple of days I finished off the Dharma of Star Wars, which I started over a year ago.  It's a good basic book I suppose, and introduces people to some real Buddhist concepts using examples from the movies, but there's not a ton of substance to it.  However, it reminded me of an important concept - right speech.  I've struggled with this lately, both as a recipient of not right speech, and of saying things that get completely misunderstood which them bite me in the ass later.  So I've been leading toward focusing more on this, with the book giving me a final reminder.

I grew up really shy and quiet around most people.  So as I grew up and learned to be if not outgoing, at least more talkative, I was able to learn to express myself better.  In general this is a positive thing.  When I get too relaxed and make smart assed comments around people who don't know me well, however, it definitely can bite me in the ass.  At work this is even more dangerous.  But now it's a habit so things slip out of my mouth before I realize it's not the right situation to say those things.  This leads to my new challenge.

I'm working to ensure I don't speak ill of people, especially at work.  In order to not speak ill of people I'm working at not thinking ill of people.  If I don't think it, it can't come out of my mouth.  This is because I don't allow my thought pattern to go down the route where the sarcasm finds plenty of fuel.  I can't say this is true of everyone, but there is a definite correlation for me.  To further enhance this process I don't allow myself to say things over instant messenger either.  Again, it's about cutting off the very thought at the pass, minimizing the chance of words actually escaping me.  If they stay inside there's no way for them to get to my ass, which is on the outside after all. ;-)

Some people may say it doesn't matter, and in a sense they're right.  But this is a choice I'm making.  I'm choosing to hold myself to a higher standard because of who I want to be and who I am when I speak ill of others.  This doesn't mean I'm going to stop using my favorite swear words all the time, or sound all pretentious, but it does mean working to slow down and choose better words.  It's something I have to work on for work, where I need to improve my technical speaking.  This will further improve my relationship and other's perception of me.  But it isn't about them, it really is about the way I feel and choosing ways in which I can support my growth as a person and as a Jedi.  This is an internally fueled choice, with a few external reminders to spur me on as well.

Now the trick is figuring out how to maintain this focus!  One day at a time...
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Jax replied the topic: Right speech day 2

As my nice high spiritual mood drops a bit, maintaining a focus on right speech is becoming more difficult.  It's as if speaking is a way to channel the negativity that sneaks in and release it.  But that isn't the best way to do this, so I continue to work on it.

The first thing I noticed today was how difficult it is to simply hold my tongue when in a group conversation.  It wasn't difficult to avoid personal thoughts, just to avoid speaking up in a way that doesn't contribute to the conversation.  But I realized that's not a good habit either.  When we just chime in with words that don't contribute, it shuts off the brain and doesn't provide as much space for intuition to speak up.  Having that internal silence means you give yourself the time to come up with the correct words.  That's definitely important when in a technical conversation!  I may have known about this before in theory, but today it became experiential knowledge which is certainly more valuable.

The other challenge was in talking about the more personal side of work where I did my best to control what I said.  I didn't do as well as before, but I still see improvement over last week when I wasn't focusing on right speech.  All in all, this is a really valuable exercise that I hope I can maintain through the weekend so I don't forget by Monday.  :-) 
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