Jax Training Journal

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Jax replied the topic: Re: Jax Training Journal

What I've learned is that ideally this process would have occurred with a full reiki session in a designated healing room.  But instead Carrie was having some troubles and they needed to improvise.  Therefore I think this made it a little more harsh than it would have been.  I'm not sure.  Hopefully we can do part two of this process this coming weekend.  Karen is ready, but we don't know if Icarus is available yet.  Hopefully this next time I'll have the chance to ask how this works in general.  I did learn that Karen doesn't see, but instead feels.  She didn't know everything that happened to Carrie but had enough to start with so she could ask questions later.  Obviously these elements are intensely personal and not to be shared by me.  I believe Icarus's experience is different so that will be interesting to ask about.  When they visit there won't be anyone else around to distract us except ourselves so I should learn more as time goes on.
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Jax replied the topic: Re: Jax Training Journal

I have a second job interview!  This follows up on the phone interview I had 2 weeks ago and will be in another 2 weeks.  I was given some awesome advice by my current manager tonight, to create a portfolio for my interviews there.  The portfolio is simply a few pages setup as a bulleted list over 3 pages or so - one on background, one on interests, and one on skills and experience.  Then on front I put my resume and hand those out to my interviewers.  Of course, I have no idea how many copies I need... lol  It's going to take time to do all the research, not just to prepare my portfolio but to research an incredibly huge company.  If I get this job I'll then be heading to Abu Dhabi for 6 months of initial training followed by another 2 1/2 years of training. 

I'm a bit nervous but far more I'm excited!
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Jax replied the topic: Re: Jax Training Journal

Following Zen-ryo's example, I did 30 situps and 15 pushups.  Before that I did a full warm up set of stretches and realized just how little stretching I've done.  I could feel the energy release from the muscles as they were stretched.  What was also good is as I felt the physical tension release, my mental and emotional tension released, putting me in a better mood.  It's obvious and makes sense, but I forgot just how good that felt.  It's silly to go so long without just stretches which take so little time and provide so much benefit.  It makes me want to kick myself.  Silly me...  :redface
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Jax replied the topic: Re: Jax Training Journal

30 situps, 20 deep squats, 10 full pushups
I did powerlifting my first year of college, so that's how I prefer to do squats since it works the full range of motion and doesn't tweak the back.  Though, my right knee was a little weird so I need to play with my technique to figure out how to strengthen it.  It's given me trouble for a few months now but not enough to ask the doctor. 

My arms were sore so I didn't want to push beyond 10 pushups.  We'll see how I feel tomorrow.  I will admit, I was motivated to do this because today (the 10th) is the 234th Marine Corps birthday.  I watched the 2009 Birthday message/video which made me feel like skipping tonight would be a complete sh*tbird thing to do. (Marine term lol)  For those interested, give it a look.  It's 10 minutes long.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V7Bicfc9dp0
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Jax replied the topic: Re: Jax Training Journal

Today I didn't get home until 10pm from work, so I didn't do any exercises.  My muscles will appreciate the day of healing, and I needed to spend my time cleaning and such.  But I did do my 4 exercise yoga/qigong set before bed.  I"ve described it before, but it's pretty simple.  The two yoga exercises are from Wii Fit, the sun saluation (I think) and the half moon (stretching to the side).  This helps me stretch my tighter muscles.  Then I do one that is called something involving a dragon and water, I'll try to find a visual, and finally turning head and gaze at the moon.  Basically, it all works on my back and hips.  By the end I feel my hands really full of energy, so I need to make the effort to do a better closing exercise.  I'm afraid of doing too much late at night since I think it contributes to my insomnia, though lately my sleeping issues seem to be unrelated to exercise, I just have too much energy.  I'm going to make a bigger effort to use this energy during the day so I can be more tired at night.  Perhaps running on low sleep tomorrow will help as well. lol

I wish I could say I'm doing some groundbreaking training.  Knowing my patterns though, If I end up overseas for 6 months I will be doing daily practices which will result in something to note eventually.  I wonder if I can get myself to do a long session at least on the weekends again, like I had done a few months back.  Time is just flying, so I need to just make time.  Since my interview is next week I need to make the best use of my time as well.  And with that I'm going to read a few more pages in a novel that has nothing to do with anything. lol  Maybe having ebooks on my cell phone isn't a good idea all the time...
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Jax replied the topic: Re: Jax Training Journal

Yesterday was a challenging day for me.  I have my job interview on the 19th and wanted to make an attempt to get new clothes for it so I was looking my best.  Since most of the stores that sell nice clothes are in the mall, I decided to try it out after work.  I wasn't happy with the way things fit at the first store, so I checked all the other stores.  In the end I decided to see if I had clothes already that would work, so that part didn't bother me so much.  What made it challenging was the act of going out and looking for clothes.  I know there are lots of people that hate clothes shopping for one reason or another.  For me, it's a combination of two things (I think).

I'm 'other' gendered.  I prefer to use the term butch as a gender identity as well as sexuality, but other labels are gender neutral or gender queer (none of which are offensive, by the way).  I don't identify with either end of the gender spectrum, male or female.  I have no desire to be one or the other and am working to be comfortable with who I am overall and not fit into pre-defined gender roles.  This is fairly easy when I'm alone, but going out to buy clothes which are always divided by gender (not without reason at times) it's not a fun experience.  I'm rarely offered help in the stores (though this may be true for everyone, I realize service isn't great these days), and even if I'm offered help it's not easy to know what I'm looking for because I'm not very fashion conscious to know where to start, especially on my body.  That's the second problem is I'm not proportioned well so that men's clothes easily fits on me.  Some of that is within my control - I could lose more weight and things aren't so bad.  But i can't control my height (5'2") or my general proportions (large chest) which means I really need to get clothes too big and then find a tailor to alter them to fit.  My only experience with a tailor is from the Marine Corps so I'm not really used to shopping for clothes and knowing how to alter them either.  Long story short...my self esteem takes a hit every time I go shopping for anything more than jeans and t-shirts. 

To counter this I reminded myself to breathe.  I made myself walk tall, because it's very hard to walk tall and continue to feel poorly about yourself.  And I reminded myself that the opinions of others don't matter.  The one piece I couldn't get rid of is my inability to pick clothes and really wished I had someone to help me with that last night!

It didn't help that later a woman wrangled me about some really expensive facial care stuff which I wouldn't buy.  Then she tried to make me feel bad for wasting her time.  *rolls eyes* I'm glad I didn't give in to her, but the experience was a little annoying.  I used it to test my intuition though, and while nothing was ringing warning bells (as in my gut wasn't feeling all yucky) I wasn't getting that nudge to buy either.  After I walked away I didn't get the yucky feeling in my stomach either that comes after confrontations for me, so overall it went well.  I think I'm going to avoid the mall for a while though, it just isn't worth it. :-)

In the end I ended up buying new shoes to go with clothes I have and today I'm going to a highly rated tailor so all should be well. 

This morning, Carrie received a message from my aunt Sallie who died 8 years ago.  She wanted me to know first to relax about the job interview.  Go to the tailor and things will play out as they should (of course, who knows what that means until it happens lol!) She then wanted all of my core family and Carrie to know that it was important for us to go through with our plans for Christmas this year.  Last time we were home (2 years ago) we had Christmas eve dinner, with Turkey and all the fixins (aaaah, southern speak!) which was really good.  We had my grandma over, and it was a good time.  This year we'll have my brother ,his pregnant wife and son, and perhaps my grandma again to have a sit down meal.  Both of our extended families are huge but toxic at this point.  Sallie wanted to make sure we avoided them and created our own, positive family tradition and started to rebuild our family.  We're also going to a (living) Aunts on the 22nd to make candy together like we did a few years back.  This is the sister my mom is closest to, so it will be fun.  She also has a huge kitchen which is a requirement for making candy. :-) 

I'm excited about this.  I love my family, but we're a stoic bunch and don't share our feelings or anything like that very often.  I know we're all missing the fun family holidays of my youth, and my dad has been especially hurt by his family's breakdown into negativity in the past 10 years so I think it's important for all of us to heal using the oldest remedy known to man - food!  It will be hectic, but oh so worth it.  And we'll have the bonus of getting part of my parents' house cleaned up so we can fit people in there and cook.  I can't think of a better present than to give them this.  I wouldn't even mind if we didn't have presents (though of course there will be presents, my parents can't help but to give.) 

I hope everyone can have some joy this upcoming holiday season!
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inari replied the topic: Re: Jax Training Journal

Hiya Jax,

Have you ever thought about shopping from catalogues? I've dealt with a particular one, called Lands End for eleven years now and they have a good online site (just google them). I know that they have 'petite' sizes (which sounds right with your height) and usually have at least some 'plain' shirts and pants and suchlike. They could be worth a look.
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Jax replied the topic: Re: Jax Training Journal

I wouldn't mind catalogues if I knew what I was looking for.  It's hard to tell how things will fit from the description, and I hate having to send things back (because I procrastinate) lol  I don't mind ordering when it's soemthing like polo shirts or tshirts, but button up shirts are harder to guess at.  I just learned alterations aren't cheap, so maybe I'll do some more research for options. :-)  They need clothes for people with short arms! 
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Jax replied the topic: Re: Jax Training Journal

Took a few days off from exercises because I was working so hard on preparing for my interview.  I meant to do qigong and exercises earlier today, but I didn't sleep well so I slept in and then had to run errands.  Since I'm wide awake, I'm doing them now.  I'm doing my best to balance my energy since Carrie is sick, looks like the flu, and I definitely don't want to be sick during my interview.  That reminds me to take my vitamins!

Crunches: 30
Pushups: 15
Squats: 50 (I could have done more but got bored and don't want to regret doing more tomorrow)
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Jax replied the topic: Re: Jax Training Journal

Finally! This morning I performed the 18 exercise sequence from Chinese Fitness, A Mind/Body approach, by Qingshan Liu.  Since I practiced this often a few years back I didn't need too much practice to do the exercises and was able to perform the set in about a half hour.  It felt pretty good.  I especially enjoy the fluid exercises that relate to birds.  My initial goal is to do this on the weekends, since I don't think it's useful to perform in the evening if I want to get to sleep.  Instead I need to find some good calming exercises.  I have a program on VHS somewhere, but don't have the VCR hooked up.  One of these days I'll simply transfer it to my laptop. 

Since today is my birthday I plan to go eat some yummy and healthy food at the Ghengis Grill, which is a mongolian bbq place.  I'm not having cake, though we'll have cake 3 days at work this week from all the birthdays, so I don't need any today at all. I plan to do my exercises tonight so my muscles have 24 hours of rest, though I'm not sure I'll do the squats, I really find them boring.  I will do lunges instead, which are more difficult for me. 

My goals for this year are the same as they've always been: Balance between the areas of my life and with my health, begin a new career that i can really excel at, open up more around people so I can enjoy life in general.  31 should be interesting.  I feel like Carrie and I are on the verge of something, with her health improving, hopefully a new job for me, we'll be learning a lot and hopefully getting our life moving in ways we planned 5 years ago. :-)
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