Hunter

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Hunter created the topic: Hunter

1) the universe is an unfathomable mystery

2) i will explore this mystery to the greatest extent of which i am capable, in full knowledge that it is beyond the scope of human possibility to do so completely

3) i too am a mystery to be explored without expectation of ever fully understanding

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Hunter replied the topic: Hunter

right now i think the most important thing i can learn is how to integrate new thought and behavior patterns

a working definition for the art of stalking is:

using thought to affect behavior
and using behavior to affect thought

this is a very humble definition, but it is a very good place from which to begin

a simple example is my developing push up routine.
i am using my tboughts to encourage myself to do push ups several times every day

some encouraging thoughts i am using are;
this is a good time to prove to myself that i am strong

i am strong because i choose to be strong
i prove my choice correct every time i do my pushups
it is choosing to be strong and doing what will strengthen me that makes me strong - im not becoming strong; i am strong

these are examples of things i tell myself

i am never hard on myself anymore
whatever i do or want to do is ok

but i have a real plan for my future
and every day i do something to help develop myself according to that plan

right now i feel like hypnotherapy could be my IN to developing financial strength

all i need is the right start and i know i can make good on good opportunities

its everything i am.looking for in a job

its not an alteration of my plans to learn scuba, which doesnt necessarily have to be at the HCC if i can make the kind of money i need for lessons i can take them whenever i have the cash together

im not sure exactly what the laws are here but i suspect i can advertise myself on craigslist as a motivational consultant or something equally ambiguous to get around licensing laws if i have to

a big percentage of what ive been doing since coming to my mothers has been a sort of "as thou wilt" jumping around to see what i gravitate towards and how i can help myself in a way that is consistent with who i am as a person

i am a natural teacher and i want to help people
- includimg myself - learn how to become the person they want to be

therapy is a field i feel i should delve into as well

for a long time ive had this vision of being a therapist who combines modern psychotherapy with warrior/mystic philosophy and utilizes adventure and exercise as components kf the therapy

in my mind the office was also the dojo

i can envision a progressive ladder beginning with life coaching as a consultant and culminating with an "adventure dojo"

who wouldnt want to train at a dojo where things like scuba and hang gliding and bungee jumping and skydiving are part of the training?

these are things that have inherent value for anyone

and it all starts with the first step

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Hunter replied the topic: Hunter

im looking up homeless shelters for one i can stay at for a night and get documentation that i was there

i need this for school
i dont have any proof of residence as a florida citizen
this is because ive been homeless in texas for the last three years or so
maybe four - i dont have any real sense of the importance of time beyond "what time do i need to be there?"

my emotions are trying to hold on to the idea that this is a pain i the arse and that i shouldnt have to do it

which is correct; it IS a pain in the arse and NO ONE should HAVE to stay in a shter for any reason

but the requirement is that students have to show they have been in state for a year or more

i do have peperwork from a homeless organisation which was directed to the dept of motor vehicles and another which was directed to the social security office

these are documents to the effect that i am homeless but theyre not directed to the college
the logocal assumption is that they should be acceptable
but i have learned that when dealing with VERY IMPORTANT INSTITUTIONS that the only reasonable assumption is that they have rules which they expect to be followed

i had forgotten that i even have this paperwork until a few minutes ago
i was actually writing this
so i just got off the phone with a pleasant woman named corie who submitted my question into the "ask the gods" department and i should hear from them in the next 48 hrs

ive never found it especially easy to push myself when i really dont feel like doing things, without having some external accountability

so in a way its going to be really helpful to have the structure of an adademic setting

i feel like im mature enough to suceed in a college setting - i will take my studies seroously
im NOT QUITE mature enough to really stay organised and consistent without a little bit of a push from thd outsids

but
ive always been very resistent to external accountability

i guess im just lazy!

ive made it a commitment to stay busy and to spend time every day pursuing a goal - not necessarily the same goal every day, but at least one of a list of goals - but i can feel my attentiveness slipping a little each day
every day im drifting a little further into complacency

rather than trying to force myself to sludge through tedium im giving myself permission to do whatever i want

but im asking myself "why do i WANT to drift into complacency?"
and the answer is I DONT
so im giving myself permission to do whatever i feel like doing
but im also using this moment to reaffirm my sincere desire and my intent to pursue an exterior goal every day.

now im going to spend some time on hypnosis

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Hunter replied the topic: Hunter

also i just want to say that i am going to suceed no matter what or how long it takes

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Connor replied the topic: Hunter

What is success?

House Rules: The only rules are Paradox, Humor, and Change.
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Hunter replied the topic: Hunter

the best definition i have heard is "the progressive realization of a worthy goal"

i agree with this definition but thats not really the answer i want to give.
when you asked "what is success" this is what i FEEL -

to leave behind the state of wishing things were a certain way and fully embody having a real vision of a way that things can be and knowing thats the way they will be
having a plan - step by step where steps are needed and also direct and right tk the heart of it of what to do to bring the vision into reality
and directing my behavior to be more and more consistant with the plan and the vision
and seeing that my life begins to reflect my vision
and ultimately to find myself living the vison and living in a way that i am at the very edge of my potential - and that i bring others with me - a big part of the vision is that i share everything i learn along the way and that the further i go the more i can give back to those who have their own vision but are still like the me that i was before i made my vision happen

i know that i have the capacity to be an excellent teacher

i know that i have the capacity to be excellent

success means living up to my potential

and being able to help others do the same when they are ready

success means that i can provide for the people that love

and being able to provide or be a steward for as many people as i choose to love

not in the sense of protecting them from their problems or trying to make life EASY for anybody

but that my success can be a map to success for anyone - not by following me but by following the map

that i can share a map of success

and that i can provide a steady foundation - like a base of operations -for those i care for so that they have a context from which to build their own success

to be successful and to share the context of success

that is success

i have begun that road but only just so

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Connor replied the topic: Hunter

Good.

Can you have direction without holding on to it?

House Rules: The only rules are Paradox, Humor, and Change.
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Hunter replied the topic: Hunter

i dont know if i understand your question in the way that you are asking it so i'll respond as thoroughly as im able

also its a good question

i use the metaphor of squeezing my fist closed and then opening and shaking out the tension

just like the heart squeezes and then relaxes

that there is a time to inhale and a time to exhale

im not trying to be flowery or say pretty words
these are the thigs which come to my mind when i ask myself the question of following the direction without holding on to it

i understand that my life is a rythm of grasping and releasing or of focusing and unfocusing

when i focus i feel i must focus completely and to the exclusion of all else
that my focus must be total

i dont have to do all at once, but the step that i am taking has to be taken with total commitment and attention as much as i am able to do so

right now ive found that hypnosis was the path to NLP which is far richer

so i can "let go" of hyonosis (im still pursuing hypnosis techniques - but i recognise that nlp is over all more of the thing thst i am drawn to in self hypnosis

so when i i focus or when i let go that i must let go of everything without holding on at all
that everything may slip away, even myself
and that there is nothing at all to hold on to

in the moments of letting go i will have a moment of objectivity and the natural result of letting go will be to see clearly if i am still on the right road
and to see if there are better ways of doing it

and if not then it is the only right thing to do to let it go

so the answer to your question is - yes and no

i cannot follow the direction without holding on to it because it is in the moments of holding on to it that i follow it

but when i let it go i allow myself to let it go completely
and understand that there is nothing i cannot let go of and still be ok, even myself, and that my destiny is not ONLY a matter of what road i take - but also very simply a matter of letting life - my life - be whatever life is, without trying to force it

that i stay open to new things and new ways of doinf things

also as i relate the answer to the question i keep getting the feeling that talking about it can begin to seperate me from it - and i think thats a a good sign
and i feelike ive answered as comepletely as i am able

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Hunter replied the topic: Hunter

i understand why i felt like talking would dissipate the mood
had woken up from a meaningful dream - i had gone through the review and asked myself to understand the message - this one was pretty clear anyway - i was still in a contemplative or dreamy mood
talking was bringing my ego back into the forefront

the more i talked about myself the more my ego woke up

im all ego again so i can talk about myself now :-)

=

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Hunter replied the topic: Hunter

so ivenbeen listening to this guy jamie smart talkingn about nlp ajd he asked "what does it look lime to want something? use your body to show me what that feeling of wanting something looks like"

and so i pausd the video and i looked at a point on the wall as the symbol of the thing that i want and i reached my arms out towards it and i walked directly at it - it was a very direct and immediate movement

then i varied it so i didnt move and it was basically the same pose

then i made a mental jump and asked myself "what does it look like to actually HAVE something?"

and jamie aslo asked "and what about the feeling of being calm andnconfident andnknowing that something is goingnto happen?

and in all three casees the body language vas different but my specific poses for having something and calmly knowing that something was on the way were very simlilar

iso i see another way of looking at this question now which is basically that by focusing on what i have in the moment i keep my serenity and there is noneed to focus on thenfuture but rather to focus on the now moment with the calm confidencenthat the goals ofnthe future will be reached

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