StormyKat's Training Journal

  • Katie (StormyKat)
  • Katie (StormyKat)'s Avatar Topic Author
  • Offline
  • Member
  • Member
  • Posts: 605
  • Thank you received: 493

Katie (StormyKat) replied the topic: StormyKat's Training Journal

Right now I feel like Luke on Dagobah when he is training with Yoda. That scene where he tells Yoda it’s impossible and questions his training because he is completely overwhelmed and thinks he might have made a stupid decision.

I signed up for NaNoWriMo or National Novel Writing Month. I am going to do my best to write a novel in a month. That’s 50,000 words by the end of November. I am three days in and feel like I have been lugging Yoda around on my back while trying to lift a x-wing out of the swamp. I am asking myself what the fluff I was thinking, signing up for this. I am grateful that I am doing this with several other Jedi, but I am still wondering what am I doing. I am so tired from late nights (where I was catching up on my reading since I spent the day reading) and I am behind on my word count. Trying to balance work and writing is tough. Today I worked 11 hours and I have to be back to work in 9 hrs. I feel the need to try to cram a few hundred words in to at least only be one day’s worth behind.

I am also feeling my own mortality. Between my birthday on Sunday and the longer hours of darkness I am really feeling it. Tying it all together I am trying to remind myself that I am doing NaNoWriMo because it is an adventure which will be a story in and of itself. It also challenges my skills and gets me out of my comfort zone. It will hopefully be a reminder that I am worthy of my dreams and with a little Yoda training to whip me in shape, I can achieve my dreams. I just need a tiny green master to crack the whip at me... But also, I only have one life and I have spent a lot of it not doing anything of value (ok..I can’t think that way. I have saved a lot of kitties and made a lot of lives better). But it was not living the dream that I keep feeling called to. And I just spent another year of my life not working towards that dream. So...what the hell am I waiting for?
#56436
The following user(s) said Thank You: Kol Drake

Please Log in or Create an account to join the conversation.

  • Kol Drake
  • Kol Drake's Avatar
  • Offline
  • Faculty
  • Faculty
  • koldrake55@yahoo.com
  • Posts: 4103
  • Thank you received: 1826

Kol Drake replied the topic: StormyKat's Training Journal

I wondered if you would post before your Birthday!
Happy 'Pre-Birthday' Day!!!

Ya, it's that time again. Shorter days; less sunlight; dreary weather days.
This is when you know - from experience - what you need to do to keep it all from adding to that emotional/physical/spiritual load we carry around. Sun exposure (or full-spectrum alternatives), plenty of sleep, and eating right will all be especially important from now until 'near Spring'.

NaNoWriMo

wow... you really took the plunge this time. NaNoWriMo can be a real challenge for some. I've also read others who waited until the last 10 days and churned out reams of words. (not certain if they were semi polished stories but there were words involved!) If possible, get a notepad and just jot down thoughts or sentences that might pop into your head during work... that way you have a 'trigger' to work from when you come home and spend 'unwind time' scribbling down the fuller concept. 50,000 sounds like a lot but once you start filling pages, it may not feel like it's enough!

Best wishes on this new challenge.
And, another birthday. May this one and all those that follow be full of Light, Love, and Peace.
#56437
The following user(s) said Thank You: Katie (StormyKat)

Please Log in or Create an account to join the conversation.

  • Posts: 4595
  • Thank you received: 1424

Johannes (Yoshio) replied the topic: StormyKat's Training Journal

From me to you also all the best! For your birthday and your NaNoWriMo. You can do it and You know it! ;)
Just don't be mad of and with yourself!
All the best and may Love, Light and Peace and the Force guide You along your personal Path! :meditate

Qui-Gon Jinn: "We cannot control our emotions, but we can decide how we go along with them."
Bujinkan Busshin Dojo - Wordpressblog
NerdFitness Profile
#56441
The following user(s) said Thank You: Kol Drake, Katie (StormyKat)

Please Log in or Create an account to join the conversation.

  • Katie (StormyKat)
  • Katie (StormyKat)'s Avatar Topic Author
  • Offline
  • Member
  • Member
  • Posts: 605
  • Thank you received: 493

Katie (StormyKat) replied the topic: StormyKat's Training Journal

Life has a way of throwing plot twists around when you least want them doesn’t it? I have been meaning to check in for weeks. Then I sprained my foot writing Christmas cards (yes. Don’t ask. I don’t know). After that healed I immediately came down with a cold that was trying to kill me. Finally getting past that too.

November felt like a cluster——. I was so scattered all month. I did not successfully write a 50k word novel for NaNoWriMo. I did write about 15k. I am proud of myself for that. I went in and did this all by the seat of my pants with no planning involved at all. It was so last minute. And I wrote more words in November than I average in two months. So I am proud of myself. I learned a lot about myself- I really don’t think novels are my thing. I need to stick to shorter works in their various forms. I learned that I can sit down and write if I really force myself and put my mind to it. I learned that the adventure of it is half the experience! And I learned to be proud of myself even if I don’t succeed in my goal. (Like seriously, two years ago I would have beat myself up for not succeeding.) I also learned that putting my self care first is the most important thing. I can’t write or do anything else in life if I am in a bad spot. So I need to ease up a bit on the criticism when I come home from work and just veg out.
#56524
The following user(s) said Thank You: Kol Drake

Please Log in or Create an account to join the conversation.

  • Posts: 14805
  • Thank you received: 1840

Jax replied the topic: StormyKat's Training Journal

I look forward to you finishing that book either way. ;-)

And illness, yes! I haven't been 100% in months it feels like. That's why I spent money on an amazing air purifier that I hope ships soon. We all really need a break.

This is one of those eyes on the prize years I guess. Maybe 2018 will be totally amazing. :-)
#56526

Please Log in or Create an account to join the conversation.

  • Kol Drake
  • Kol Drake's Avatar
  • Offline
  • Faculty
  • Faculty
  • koldrake55@yahoo.com
  • Posts: 4103
  • Thank you received: 1826

Kol Drake replied the topic: StormyKat's Training Journal

heh... I thought I had dodged the 'end of the year' bullet... then BAM.

Turned a 'back twinge' into a torn back muscle. Went out and raked leaves -- congratulating myself on a year without getting covered in poison ivy. Guess what. Got poison ivy. Then our service provider blew up a server... and I had Internet withdrawl for 10 days. Happy Holidays!

15K words? A good semi short story!
(and I bet you could turn 'how I twisted an ankle while writing Christmas cards' into a good 'holiday submission'.)

You've done some amazing things this year. And pushed your personal limits... and come away the better for the effort. It's been a wild and wooly year... and many of us are 'the walking wounded' with all the dings and dents... but we've pushed forward -- limping all the way.
Good stuff... and inspiration for making 2018 a better year.
#56536
The following user(s) said Thank You: Johannes (Yoshio)

Please Log in or Create an account to join the conversation.

  • Posts: 14805
  • Thank you received: 1840

Jax replied the topic: StormyKat's Training Journal

Wow, 2017 is really making sure we don't forget it. Today I'll find out if I have a disk issue with my back. With no obvious injury and continuous chiropractic care. hahahahaha :-P
#56537
The following user(s) said Thank You: Kol Drake, Katie (StormyKat)

Please Log in or Create an account to join the conversation.

  • Katie (StormyKat)
  • Katie (StormyKat)'s Avatar Topic Author
  • Offline
  • Member
  • Member
  • Posts: 605
  • Thank you received: 493

Katie (StormyKat) replied the topic: StormyKat's Training Journal

I just realized I had missed some responses to my last post. Sorry. The cold went away and then came back stronger. So now three weeks or so of cold...but at least its just a cold.

I’m here because today is a huge milestone for me. I had my final therapy session. Or at least, what I hope is my final therapy session. I started with a new Doctor at the end of September or early October after my previous psychiatrist left to start her own business. Shortly after that I had a major breakthrough AND I realized that I wasn’t actually getting much out of my sessions anymore. I realized then that I have the tools I need to fight this battle on my own. I will always have depression and anxiety, therapy will never get rid of that. And I am better equipped to fight my battles, to control my brain. I now understand that I truly am not alone when I am experiencing many of my fears or insecurities, nor when I am in one of my dark places. And so I talked with the doctor. She agreed with me that it was a smart and safe decision. I compared it to taking away my crutch. It will be hard to walk at first, but eventually I will get the handle of it. And if I don’t I can get that crutch back. But it is time to try walking on my own, to build that confidence in myself and my ability to walk alone. And I am scared stiff. I’ve spent the better part of 10 years in therapy- not counting the time I spent in therapy at college. That is a hell of a long time. So. Here I am, feeling nervous and excited. And I am trying to keep in mind the words of the amazing Carrie Fisher.
“Stay afraid, but do it anyway. What’s important is the action. You don’t have to wait to be confident. Just do it and eventually the confidence will follow“
And this being the one year anniversary of her death, well it feels slightly auspicious since she has been such a huge role model for me with her outspokenness about mental illness.
So here I go. Being scared and brave. Being afraid and hoping the confidence comes with time.
#56593
The following user(s) said Thank You: Kol Drake, Johannes (Yoshio), Dustin

Please Log in or Create an account to join the conversation.

  • Kol Drake
  • Kol Drake's Avatar
  • Offline
  • Faculty
  • Faculty
  • koldrake55@yahoo.com
  • Posts: 4103
  • Thank you received: 1826

Kol Drake replied the topic: StormyKat's Training Journal


.
.

Star Princess (and Star Mom) Carrie Fisher knows these things.

Congrats on closing out a decade of therapy. Sincere-est wishes you continue finding fun adventures in 2018 and the years to come.
#56595
The following user(s) said Thank You: Dustin, Katie (StormyKat)

Please Log in or Create an account to join the conversation.

  • Katie (StormyKat)
  • Katie (StormyKat)'s Avatar Topic Author
  • Offline
  • Member
  • Member
  • Posts: 605
  • Thank you received: 493

Katie (StormyKat) replied the topic: StormyKat's Training Journal

Thanks! I am looking forward to all the money I will save, if nothing else. Though I already know some is going to weight watchers. May join a fitness center near work too or do some other exercise/physical activity. So the money is really just going from investing in mental health to physical health, which can also help mental health.
#56596
The following user(s) said Thank You: Kol Drake

Please Log in or Create an account to join the conversation.

Time to create page: 0.105 seconds