StormyKat's Training Journal

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Kol Drake replied the topic: StormyKat's Training Journal

If possible.... do ten minutes or more of stretching ahead of time.... so your muscles and tendons are not so tight.

And, an hour or so before, take a couple of Advil or Tylenol -- so any aches or pains you might get are being 'treated' by the time you are finished. No sense going to bed and waking up the next day all achey. heh... once upon a time, I'd suggest a long soak in a bath filled with hot water and bubbles... but it seems few homes have tubs one can stretch out in any more. Oh for the good old days of claw footed cast iron swimming pools masquerading as tubs.
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Katie (StormyKat) replied the topic: StormyKat's Training Journal

We have an old tub that is nice and deep and pretty long...sitting upright it is long enough for me. I just don't like taking baths...feels wasteful (both time and water) and I get cold sitting upright like that.

It was a gentle yoga class today, so I stretched just enough to open my body up but not enough to hurt anything.

I felt very refreshed and determined after my yoga.
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Jax replied the topic: StormyKat's Training Journal

:-)
There are always rough days. How great is it that you could shake it off overnight and start fresh though? You may not realize it, but that's a sign of your training as well. You don't want to hold onto it, and you're more willing to let it go. You're looking for ways to reduce the stress. All of this is beneficial!

I'm glad you made it back to yoga. Even going once a week makes a difference for me, but I really need more. I found there is also a class on Sundays, so I think I'll try to do that next weekend. During the week the classes are while I'm at work for all those stay at home pregnant moms, I guess, but I try to move my body more. Doing a few simple yoga stretches to release some tension before bed helps a lot. As does stretching and moving a little in the shower. It's all good for the body and helps reduce that stress buildup. :-D
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Katie (StormyKat) replied the topic: StormyKat's Training Journal

The last few years I have struggled off and on to try to reduce or get off my anti-anxiety/depression medications. I recently discovered that the hormones in birth control pills seem to help the most, and the Psychiatrist I am seeing things I have PMDD (Premenstrual dysphoric disorder) which makes complete sense. I would love to not have to be on two medications though both for the sake of not taking medications and for the cost issue. I had been on Zoloft and that was an evil, evil medication both in the side effects and in the withdrawl. I stopped (weaned off with the Dr.'s help) taking it because I realized I wasn't finding pleasure or joy in anything. Once I stopped taking it though the side effects kicked in pretty badly. We switched to a different drug which I am currently taking. I have tried for the last three or for years to try to wean myself off every now and then. Last year when I tried I also had a change in birth control medication due to financial issues, and the two had horrible emotional side effects. However it was unclear at the time what was causing the morbid depression, so we ended up increasing my depression meds. I have been on a higher dose for a year. I don't like putting so many drugs in my system and would really, really like to stop taking them if I can. I am finally meeting with a Psychiatrist who is helping me wean again. The past month I have been going from 20 mg to 10 mg, which was my original dosage. Now that it has been about a month I can feel the difference in my head. I am much more "down" than normal and it takes a lot of effort to try to do anything other than sit around. It is really terrifying. First, because it speaks to just how powerful the drugs are and reminds me just why I want to get off of them in the first place. I did just fine with 10 mg for many years so there is no reason why I shouldn't be able to adjust to simply 10 mgs. Second it is terrifying because it reminds me of the other times I have tried to go off, when I couldn't tell if I was having with drawl or if it was a sign I still needed the drugs. I don't want to go through that again. I also don't want to be dependent on drugs for the rest of my life if I don't have to be.

I spent today doing a whole lot of nothing. I also got very sad when Target didn't have what I was looking for. Then I came home and ended up taking a nap, despite sleeping in today. I blame the cat for the nap, sometimes I will be lying down reading and he climbs on me and demands I take a nap. :lol: So I am trying to spend the rest of my day acting against the depression thoughts as my brain readjusts to lower medications. It is almost enough to make me want to just give up and go back to a higher dose.
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Kol Drake replied the topic: StormyKat's Training Journal

Any change -- dosage, brand, etc. can be a rough go... as it takes time to re-adjust and to evaluate any side effects. Sucks big time.

When I get real down, I go to my 'go to' routines.
Reading my most favorite books; watching a few of my best liked movies or old shows; and music. And being a fan of the very early electronic era of the 70s, it's stuff like Tomita's version of The Planets (and sometimes listening to the original Holst
orchestration), Tubular Bells by Mike Oldfield, and a lot of Switched on Bach and anything else from that time done by Walter/Wendy Carlos. Then I dive into the 60s 70s and 80s music. The stuff that 'never gets old'.

But... find what you love and let it bring you up. It does help.
And so does naps with kitties. Kitties are smart that way.
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Jax replied the topic: StormyKat's Training Journal

Meds are so tricky. I would also look at what you can add to your life to provide improved spiritual and emotional health. Meditation, qigong, physical movement (doesn't need to be fancy, just going for a short walk to clear your head at lunch and after work). What can you do to support your changing body so you can see if you need more meds or not?
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Katie (StormyKat) replied the topic: StormyKat's Training Journal

I have been having a hard time moving forward with my Jedi training lately.

Actually, I guess I have had a hard time focusing on much of anything lately. My mind has been distracted, focused on worrying and indecision. As I get closer and closer to my birthday I think I am quietly freaking out. It is a "milestone" birthday and I don't feel like I have lived enough for the milestone, nor do I have enough to show for my milestone birthday. I am quietly freaking out because as I approach my 30th birthday I still don't know what I want to do with my life, I still live with my parents, I am still not financially independent. And even though I can look at things logically and tell myself these things are ok, or not my fault, or out of my control and that I have done the best I could, I have worked hard and had a few bad breaks, it is hard to believe deep down inside. Because this is not the life I wanted. It is a decent life, and I can't complain about my job, my living situation. My needs are all met, I can live and survive. However, I know this is not the life I want for the next five years. So I am panicking, trying to figure out if I want to go back to school to become a vet tech/vet assistant. I can't decide. Something is holding me back, which makes me question if it is the right decision for me. I also want to work on a new children's book, take writing classes and maybe study children's literature. But what the hell do you do with a degree in children's literature? I have this stupid idea in my head that I have to decide NOW! That there is this deadline and it must be met. Which I know is not true. There is no real deadline for figuring out life, well, other than that "final" deadline of death...

Additionally I am having my usual "I WANT AN AWESOME BIRTHDAY PARTY BUT I DON'T HAVE ANY FRIENDS TO COME TO IT AND I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO ANYWAY" panic, that leaves me feeling depressed and alone. Truth is I have very few close friends. I have always had a hard time making friends. I just seem to be feeling the lonely feels as of late.

Getting back to Jedi studies though, I can't seem to find the motivation or interest to do anything anymore. I feel like I've hit a wall. I can't quite put my finger on it. I am just having a hard time moving forward. Any one have words of wisdom on moving forward with Jedi training?
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Kol Drake replied the topic: StormyKat's Training Journal

Having moved around the country with my folks growing up and later during my own young adulthood, I had many birthdays without benefit of friends... many times arriving at a new locations mere weeks before my B-day. So, over the years and especially the last decade or so, I have made it a point to make my own day. Not that I do any major planning but, I decide that day I 'do' what I want -- be it a dinner out and a movie or bookstore prowling or hitting an art gallery I've been putting off or wandering a nature trail.

Milestones.
Sometimes I feel others put more stock into those than the person actually having the birthday. Happened this year for me -- or rather my older sister. She was all about "... this will be the last year in your 50s... and then you will be old!" I keep having to remind her (and bursting her joy bubble when I do) -- that no matter how 'old' I am, she is always older. (3 years).

So, make this B-Day a milestone but make it yours. Not sorry for leaving your twenties but building toward a 30s 'future' with joy, hope, and looking forward to the path ahead of you.

Now... 'hitting the wall' --
It happens to all of us sooner or later. Sometimes you need a break to just let all that new knowledge, experience and wisdom 'sink in'. Plus, a break makes for a nice breather before diving back into the water of wackiness which comes with being a living breathing human being. Even Obi Wan stopped to have a drink at the bar while chasing the assassin!
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Jax replied the topic: StormyKat's Training Journal

Placing the pressure on yourself to 'get it right' is paralyzing. Be kind to yourself. You aren't choosing for the rest of your life. You are choosing for what feels best right now. It may last for a year, it may last for decades. But choosing based on what feels right at the moment will lead to where you need to go. I know it's hard, but the more you can relax on this, the more you just follow what feels expansive, the easier things will move in all areas of life.

You know, loads of 30 year olds are in the same position as you. An unprecedented number I believe, all due to the economic downturn. You haven't done anything wrong, at all. And some amazing people have reached incredible lows before finding their greatness and rising to be leaders in their areas - and all later in life. 30 is nothing. Just a number.

Once you can ease up on this, you'll find things get easier. You can do a few other things to ease things up. One is a mantra. Say this 30 times in the morning, 30 times at lunch. Or at least 10, but if you do less, do it more often, such as at lunch as well. And remember that even if it sounds weird, it's working on the energy. The mantra is "All of life comes to me with ease, joy, and glory." The more you do it, the more it will change things.

Hang in there, everyone has these times where things get tough. It'll be ok. :-)
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Katie (StormyKat) replied the topic: Re:Re: StormyKat's Training Journal

Apparently my body didn't like the stress I was giving myself either. I'm sick in bed today. But I have the magical healing power of a pair of cats. This is especially wonderful cause my old man hadn't snuggled with me like this in ages. it's nice to have a pair of cats to help heal me.
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