atha'rs journal

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Try not.Do. Or do not. There is no try.
-yoda

Rejoice for those who have passed into the force. Mourn them do not. Miss them do not.
-Yoda

"Furthermore, we have not even to risk the adventure alone; for the heroes of all time have gone before us; the labyrinth is thoroughly known; we have only to follow the thread of the hero-path. And where we had thought to find an abomination, we shall find a god; where we had thought to slay another, we shall slay ourselves; where we had thought to travel outward, we shall come to the center of our own existence; where we had thought to be alone, we shall be with all the world."
Joseph Campbell, The Hero with a Thousand Faces, p. 18 (3rd edition)

"Strength does not come from physical capacity.It comes from an indomitable will."
Mahatma Gandhi

Those who needlessly throw themselves into danger deserve to face it alone.
Qui-gon Jinn


I dont know why I felt the need to write these quotes I just did. anyway I think they all make sense and are all important.

Try not. Do. Or do not. There is no try.
-Yoda
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Jax replied the topic: atha'rs journal

Sometimes we need to remind ourselves of these things.
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sarah kehoe replied the topic: atha'rs journal

so i have been thinking a lot and if i were to run for president my speech would be written by me and would go something like this. as i am too young to run, my voice wont be heard in that way, but i thought i would share it anyway :)

Bad things happen when good men stand by and do nothing. I never wanted to be a great leader, heck I wanted to be a small town vet. But the world that we have is wracked by pain and the ever present shadow of fear. Countless lives have been lost on both sides. Too many families sit with an empty place at the table. Change can’t happen overnight. But if we allow money to rule the country then all the hopes of our founding fathers will have failed. “Government for the people, by the people.” What we have now is nowhere near the goal of this great nation. I will not let my opinion be bought, everyone will have their say. In fact, if you plan on giving a large amount of money to the campaign to influence my decision, then know now that you will be sorely disappointed. I would rather go down as the poorest president in history, then be yet another president who allows money to speak louder than the people of this nation. Now I obviously can’t listen to all of you at once as I would probably go mad, but know that I am listening.
If you can dream it you can achieve it, well I’m here because I can dream it. I can see a world where peace reigns. Now I know that some would think that this is only possible through war. I have heard the statement a million times. Yet, I know that humanity is better than that. We can achieve peace without war. The results do not justify the means. Yes terrible acts have happened against us, but we are no better. We treat our fellow humans as though they were just something that must be eliminated. That we must reach the next goal within a certain time frame, no matter the cost, no matter how many lives are lost in the process. This is a cruel and almost inhuman method. The resources we spend on war could be much better spent fighting crime on our own streets, or fighting disease. I am not saying that we must leave ourselves unprotected, but we must find a way to bring these wars to an end. Yes, I said wars. Now I may not have the military experience or the age of my opponents, but I do have one advantage. My advantage is that unlike many I am not here for any personal reason, I am here for all of you!

Now I know that there are many issues closer to home that must also be dealt with, we have states and cities that are struggling to pay the bills, we have many families that are barely getting by, we have groups that seek to take basic constitutional rights from us, we have immigration issues and we are in debt. I won’t lie to you, our nation is a mess and in the short four or maybe even eight years I cannot completely untangle that mess. But I swear on my honor that I will do everything in my power to fix as many issues as I can.
Of the issues that I have just mentioned none is more important than any other. All of them deserve more time than I ever will have, but with your support and a good pen I may yet be able to remedy them.
Another thing that I have noticed that people object to is my religion, yes I am Wiccan. Yes Jediism is the path I have chosen to follow. I don’t see how others think that my personal beliefs will impair my ability to do what is necessary. I hold no prejudices, against any religion. We are all human and no matter what religion or life path we choose to follow we should all receive the same respect.
Now I hope I haven’t overly offended anyone and if I have I don’t see why. I will leave you with one more quote those who forget the past, are doomed to repeat it. Due to the fact that history is written by the victors, it has been greatly distorted throughout time, yet many of the lessons are still there for all to see.

Try not. Do. Or do not. There is no try.
-Yoda
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sarah kehoe replied the topic: atha'rs journal

needless to say I'm not exactly in a happy mood right now.
Everyone seems to think that I am strong. I was the only one there when my grandmother died. Yet, it was not strength that kept me going, it was cowardice. She sat through every fever, every time i was sick she went out of her way to care for me. She even delayed going to the doctor when her heart told her that she needed to so that i could finish my classes at the local community college. She had been there for so many people who were dying. She should have died surrounded by family. But the only person who was there couldn't face being there for her when she needed it.That same person couldn't even look at her at her funeral. That same person tried to pretend that nothing had happened. That same person was the granddaughter that she had given everything to raise. So tell me is it strength? Or is it really cowardice?

Try not. Do. Or do not. There is no try.
-Yoda
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Jax replied the topic: atha'rs journal

Don't feel guilty, because I can guarantee she understands completely and does not hold it against you. Release the guilt and open up to her presence and you will be able to feel her love again, without judgement. Sometimes death is just too painful to deal with all at once. There's nothing wrong with that.
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sarah kehoe replied the topic: atha'rs journal

I'm back. I was away from the coursework for a bit because my life got a bit overwhelming, actually it is more overwhelming now then it has ever been. When I first began my studies here, I had been studying on my own for a while and had only ever learned the "less realistic" version of the code. I had essentially disconnected from those around me and pushed the feelings of attachment to a locked box in the back of my mind. What I see now is that the true nature of what I did was to act upon a fear of loss. I wasn't stronger but i was more able to hide the fear. After, i began studying here I slowly realized that it was possible to release those feelings, to feel them, then let them go. Yet, when my Grandma died, those feelings were too strong for me, I was too afraid of them to even begin to feel them. I tried desperately to push them back into that locked box. there was a lot going on with the sorting and packing up of her house ( which I wanted nothing to do with). I spent most of the summer sailing and either hiding in my room or riding my bike. The summer passed like a second. in early August I saw my mom for the first time since I was about four, we only stopped for two days, but ( and i believe that the loss of grandma was partially to blame) she instantly became the mother figure in my life. At the time she was already quite unwell due to her breast cancer. I then traveled south with my dad to florida and started school. while I was in school I felt fine. It was as if the whole horrible thing had never happened. Then after a crazy three months we finally moved into a place of our own. As I began to unpack and find things that were grandma's the pain that i had buried began to grow like a ticking bomb waiting to go off. Most of the time I could deal with it but sometimes it left me curled up and crying. It wasn't until really recently that I realized that i had pushed it into that box and began to release it. It still hurts like hell, but it wasn't quite as unbearable. then a few days ago I got a slap to the stomach, my mom has never really wanted to share what was going on with her illness, which has affected her heart, she didn't even know how to tell me so she had my dad tell me. in about a week she is going in for surgery , which if successful will make her heart strong enough for them to go in and fix it. If it isn't successful though there won't be much more that they can do for her. I want so badly to be optimistic for her, but my dreams and my instincts say otherwise. I dont say this for any reason other than to give the amazing instructors here a heads up and also because writing helps me...
all and all i just wanted to say that im back.

Try not. Do. Or do not. There is no try.
-Yoda
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sarah kehoe replied the topic: atha'rs journal

oh and i have a question, and this may not be the right place for it but, have the prerequisites for force 101 changed in the last year or so?

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sarah kehoe replied the topic: atha'rs journal

and so i find myself with another question.....after all that has happened after my grandmother's death i believe that the PLP that i submitted during the introductory course is "a little" off. although all four of the activities were completed, the " tracking" of the activities is spotty to nonexistent in most places. Should I go back and redo the PLP or just keep track of what I am doing now or both? ( I did submit my certification for lifeguarding, and it wouldn't be impossible to reach my dance instructor. ) I'm putting this here because I'm not sure where to put it lol.

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Kol Drake replied the topic: atha'rs journal

Wow...

First: Welcome 'back' though I know you were never 'gone gone'.

Second although it's probably the first-est: You came to a realization on your own and that is progress. You understand how trying to block/lock/hide pain can do as much harm as just letting the pain flow and go.

"The is no emotion; there is peace."


That wonky line. We are human -- we are nothing BUT a bundle of emotions; acting and reacting to all sorts of input from family, friends, circumstances, etc. And yet, if we let emotion take over -- determine how we act and react to everything -- we have lost ourself / our 'Self' ; riding on a wave of terror or misery or just plain old pain and loss instead of LIVING. Life can hurt... no doubt about that. What was it Bruce Wayne's dad said to him?

Thomas Wayne : And why do we fall, Bruce? So we can learn to pick ourselves up.

We are SUPPOSED to experience emotions. It is a goodly part of how we, as humans, process things. It is how we ACT on those emotions which determines if we prolong the pain or come to terms and 'come to peace' with those situations which decide if we can make that Jedi creed line 'work'. Just as you wrote, denial / suppression just means it's all there waiting to jump out of the box when you least expect it and -- wham -- you are having to deal with it all over again ... and most times worse -- because it has all been held down and loaded with other emotions like guilt or worry or other emotions piled on top of the original turning a 'fair load' into a massive elephant dumped on your heart.

So, you done good young lady.
You came to those same conclusions and have faced that emotion and worked through it. True, it is not 'gone gone' but now you can start to take it into your mind and heart in a way where the memories make the pain less a 'bad thing' than part of the process of remembering and missing a loved one and honoring their memory by "picking yourself up" and living the life they had hoped for you.
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Kol Drake replied the topic: atha'rs journal

The PLP... once the Colorado Gathering is done this week, I guess Connor or Jax may address this with you. Remember, the PLP is really your own 'to do list' and it can change over time as you decide what is 'do-able' and what might have changed as far as you own personal desires and goals.

Certificates are nice but I doubt 'the powers that be' will grumble too much if you can't produce hardcopies. Part of this journey of jedi-ness is honesty and trust. We trust your word and honest effort in these things. Do what you believe you can but don't lose sleep over it.

*****

Force 101 ?

In the last year or so there have been some changes. Mostly, doing the Introduction course; doing your PLP; and then -- doing the Creed 101 - The Jedi Code and Jedi Studies 101 courses. Once those are complete, you can take which ever courses you prefer -- though most jump on Meditation 101 course since meditation pops up as part of the training all over the place.

I'm a bit 'iffy' on the Force course since Jax and Conner had mentioned they were working on a re-write... so I'm not certain if the existing one is still the 'go to' course or not. Again, after this week's Gathering I am certain one or both will let you know the details.
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