Training Journal of Onar

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Onar created the topic: Training Journal of Onar

This is the training journal of Onar. I will be posting here to document the training that I will be undertaking as well as keeping myself accountable to continue my training. Working 7 days a week I have found it in the past to be at times challenging to be motivated to train, more so in the energy aspect than the physical.

This is not to say I am physically where I would like to be. Of course that is about 30-40 pounds and 10 years ago! But I am resolved to get back to that point. Most of my exercising is limited to what I can do with myself as I do not have a gym membership, though I do have access to an exercise bike.

It has also been a long time since I have seriously stopped and meditated. It is not at all an exaggeration to say that within the past few years a veil has been lifted and have been suffering a sort of information overload induced "shock". I have waxed and waned on my journey to deepen my connection to the Force and often found myself slipping into my old ways. I did meditate for very short periods, what I call cleansing meditations, in order to get my head clear and my focus regained. But still my focus was drawn elsewhere. I am sure it has become apparent that a theme has emerged so far in my initial entry, and that is my lack of or inability to focus. I have always had an active mind, a true gift I saw it as considering I have worked some
very lonely and very boring jobs in the past.

But I have begun to truly quiet my mind, and to just be. As Bruce Lee said, "Not thinking, but not dreaming". For instance, I find it most difficult to "be still" when driving. I am always either listening to music or racing to get wherever I am going as the thoughts move just as fast through my mind. Yet tonight, on my way home, I was able to do just that. And I felt more focused and connected with the Force than I probably ever have been, at least that I can remember.

It has taken quite a while of wrestling with my old self to come to where I am now but my resolve has never been stronger. I have finally realized that though I see a dark storm on the horizon and used that as an excuse to delay this moment it is exactly traveling this path that will prepare me to fight evil no matter in what form it presents itself to me. And so my journey, which had started with shuffling feet, now continues, but with full strides.
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