Nitsud's Training Journey

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Johannes (Yoshio) replied the topic: Re: Nitsud's Training Journey

First of all a question, is there a reason - obviously there is, otherwise You wouldn't do it the way You do - why You do post your Force and Meditation work in here and not over in the according sections?

Secondly, as far as I'm able to say it, the form in the focusing exercises doesn't really matter as long as it is not becoming too big. But, as You have already experienced first handed, I would be careful with bringing in too much colours or contrasts as this will not do you any good on your eyes and focus. I think simplicity is here the goal. I, personally, have to say that for me dark colours on a white wall worked best for me.

As for the meditation, maybe You should try the following, when You ‘attach’ meditation directly to another ‘exercise’, I would recommend, to do a short stretching in between so that your body can relax and have a stretch before You sit down again. Another point I would try to work on, obviously I don’t know how your family or household situation is, but I think it would be of benefit for You if You can make sure that You don’t get disturbed during your meditations by any of your family members (including the cat ;) ). Maybe you have a room for yourself or could go to the sleeping room. Just make sure that your family does understand that they shouldn’t disturb You during meditation if it is not absolutely necessary.

Qui-Gon Jinn: "We cannot control our emotions, but we can decide how we go along with them."
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Dustin replied the topic: Re: Nitsud's Training Journey

I post my Force and Meditation work in the course sections and the training journal suffices as a catch all. I can post elsewhere too but it would just be a copy-paste of what I put in the course threads.

Yeah, I had a much better time with the Navy Blue square on a white wall.
What you say makes sense, I'll try doing some dynamic stretching between force/focus and meditation work.

I try to sneak away to do anything that takes concentration because otherwise I am conscious that people are anticipating my return. During evening times people are usually lost doing whatever (watching TV, reading, playing, etc) and my absence is only noted if they're disturbed or in some transition. In effect telling them not to disturb me is a disruption projecting my expectation into their perception and in turn I project their perception of my expectation and their anticipation of my return onto myself. This is true for my daughter especially who has a child's natural curiosity, the attention span of a puppy but a memory like a bear trap. My absence will only make her fixate and cause her to miss me possibly to the point of and distress. In the end it's an unnecessary clutter of thought and potential tension for everyone.

On reflection though, I do see a compromise. Rather than verbally projecting my expectation onto others perhaps my actions can inspire positive behavior all around. Finish my routine and ignore them as best as I can then tell them what I was doing so they can choose for themselves what to do when they find me. Sneaky me, I'm hoping the Lorelai, my daughter, will get curious and maybe even sit and watch me. Meditation isn't exactly something I can push people towards. Rather than roping myself off, even silently like I've already been doing, I think it would be most productive for everyone to open myself up. What do you think?

"We don't see things as they are, we see things as we are." - Anais Nin
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zen-ryo senshi replied the topic: Re: Nitsud's Training Journey

I agree. I was even contemplating a similar suggestion for you.

If I speak from a good motivation out of sincerity, respect, and love for others, my actions are good, virtuous. If I act from a motivation of pride, hatred, criticism, and so forth, then my verbal and physical actions become nonvirtuous.

- 14th Dalai Lama

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Johannes (Yoshio) replied the topic: Re: Nitsud's Training Journey

What You had been writing in your last paragraph seems to me as a good way forward!

As I don't have own kids, I don't know much of their natural interest and curiosity in and about everything. So, sorry for my not 'to the end thought suggestion' and thank You very much for telling me about what this suggestion might have for an effect, especially on children. Now I can take this as a benefit and use it when I will, hopefully one day, have children myself.

When I do think back to my own childhood, my brother and I had to learn what it did mean when the door to the sleeping room of my parents was close. Obviously they didn't tell as what it was meant to say, but when we had figured out that it does mean 'they don't want to be disturbed', we had been able to accept that and had been waiting till they would have come out of the room or opened the door themselves.

So, yes, 'ignoring' outer distraction and keep on meditating will have a double positive effect, I feel. First of all it will help You to get better in meditation and secondly it might teach others to let You have your privacy and maybe even join You for meditation after You have explained it to them what You are actually doing.
Thank You for teaching me a new thing.

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Dustin replied the topic: Re: Nitsud's Training Journey

Monday - 20120730

Quite a bit has happened in the last three months when I haven't been keeping track of myself. I thing the craziness has re-centered this (training) aspect of my life a bit, actually. I've come to the conclusion that I don't need or like training because that implies that I need to focus on something I wouldn't normally be doing to become a better me. Like money, or material possessions, or a better body, or better focus... trying to get an ideal that by extending myself just takes extra focus making it easier to whiplash in the opposite direction when shit hits the fan and focus gets diverted to what matters.

After my chaotic life state I found my day-to-day was closer to what Jaimie Mantzel does than I'd have realized. When I'm not trying to alter me to a future mental perception of myself I notice myself finding fun ways of doing things which already work to better me. Instead of thinking in terms of "I should be disciplined and doing x" I just end up carrying more, moving more, playing longer, and I have more attention and energy for stuff in the now because I'm not focused on the future.

A specific example is that I've stopped thinking about what I eat. Before I was eating more of a paleo-ish diet, focused on eating mostly proteins and fats, now I just make whatever's quick and easy so I don't have to think about it. Cereal in the morning, sandwich in the afternoon, frozen something or cereal for dinner. I just make quick meals so I can spend the time on something else other than eating. Incidentally this has made it so I eating less in general since I'm not obligated to eat the leftovers or other whole products which will go bad. In the couple weeks I've kept pretty consistently to the lower range of my weight fluctuation, which seems to be slowly dropping. I don't really have a morning workout any more and I don't keep track of how long I do whatever physical efforts I do get into like riding the bike with my daughter or playing with my basketball in the house. It's an interesting time and I wonder how long it will stay effective (happy and feeling fit). It could just be a summer thing, but I don't think so.

In other news I've been progressing through the Java book I have. I'm slowly figuring out how I'm going to build the various aspects of my application.

"We don't see things as they are, we see things as we are." - Anais Nin
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Dustin replied the topic: Nitsud's Training Journey

Note to self: Don't lock my computer while typing a long post. I guess I'm not giving a full update today after all.

Here's a quick reprise:

Physical
Gave up Convict Conditioning for the Batman Body Workout at NerdFitness.com. I got discouraged because I wasn't progressing very well and I think it may be because strength training should only max at 8 reps, CC had me going up around 30 which means it isn't strength training which means it isn't conditioning strength to the next exercise. BBW does a better job of spending my muscle energy in few reps and in the couple weeks I've done it half-assed I have already made progress with my movements and core strength.

What sucks is that I'm sick right now though... throbbing head thanks to some kind of sinus thing. I think I'll still try and make it through my workout tonight; at least get a few sets in.

Mental
A lot of researching and brainstorming going on. Too much pie in the sky to get into from scratch but it has to do with everything, programming, and chipping away at planning a business plan. There seems to be a general calm in the social rhetoric right now... even the circle-jerking Reddit.com is minimal for the site. I'm not sure if it's because the federal election is pretty much in the bag or if people are waiting for other things to happen but it's kind of eerie.

Emotion
I'm a bit short-tempered right now because of the tax our new baby is putting on sleep and patience. This lack of energy is also leading me to veg-out more which puts me in a self-shaming spiral of feeling lazy and unaccomplished. Knowing what's going on has kept me from letting that negativity spill onto most around me but it's hard with my daughter who is having an intense desire for reciprocation right now. The next section has more on that.

Intent/Expression (What most would consider the spiritual soul)
As I said, most of my time is being used up on our new baby boy. Yup, my wife (Caitlin) and I had a son on September 8th. His name is Atticus and over-all we're adjusting to each other fairly well I think. Our 5 year old daughter has been fairly sensitive because of our fatigued patience and attention. At least she loves her brother and has no resentment toward him, she seems to get that the change is between her and us. Fairly mature of her. It's hard for her because while we, the parents, vow up and down to still love her unconditionally but from her perspective she isn't getting the reciprocation she is used to. We can't ask her to wait promising that things will go back to what they were because her brother and our devotion to him is permanent. There is no way compensate the loss she is feeling and it's really up to her to come to terms with the reality-shift. All we can do as parents is keep interacting with her so she can work out the new consistency so she can find her footing with us again. It's tough, but I'm optimistic.

"We don't see things as they are, we see things as we are." - Anais Nin
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Dustin replied the topic: Nitsud's Training Journey

Just a quick update on life events and what I've been up to... this is going on my blog too.

My son will be 5 months old on Friday. He is doing well rolling around after the cat, not letting us sleep, and generally becoming more person-like every day.

After the new year Caitlin and I did Weight Watchers together for a few weeks. I made a spreadsheet to track my own eating instead of paying for their services, that was a pretty good learning experience. I haven't used the sheet for a few weeks at this point but I generally eat better now. I've been progressively trying to work more raw-ish plant-matter into my diet and decreasing my intake processed foods. Tricky when I'm am the main cooker person for two others who are pretty picky about what they eat.

Caitlin is back to school, hopefully for the last stretch this time. I look forward to congratulating her on a hard fought win that has been a long time coming; plus that means my own education may be on the distant (post 2014) horizon.

Along those lines though I've spent the last couple weeks working on parsing out science/religion arguments in hopes that I can use the exercise as a tool to gain a deeper understanding into the scientific and social fields of history as well as becoming more savvy at discourse and approaching/displaying controversial information. Oh and I'm reading through a chemistry book before bed too. It feels like a caramelization/crystallization process is happening... in the last 5-6 years I've passively explored these threads of information to see what exists along with the who's and why's behind their existence and I'm at a point where I am confident in my ability to tie them into a solid, cohesive latticework of ideas. It's actually pretty fun even if it does take most of the free time I have when I'm not with family.

I've managed to keep from getting sick so far but a side effect is that my physical energy has been pretty drained of late. Lack of sleep doesn't help either. I haven't been working out lately which may have contributed to me pinching a nerve in my back last week, which was a whole lot of no fun. My energy is building back up this week so hopefully I'll be able to get back to the bodyweight workouts at least.

There was other stuff on my mind, but I forget what it was. This is enough for now I guess. Not sure what it has to do with Jedi Training, but I think this is the most logical place to chronicle it here.

"We don't see things as they are, we see things as we are." - Anais Nin
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Jax replied the topic: Nitsud's Training Journey

Very interesting. I look forward to your ideas in these areas.

Your son is adorable. The video of him almost crawling cracked me up. :-)


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Dustin replied the topic: Nitsud's Training Journey

I had a good chat with KitFox today and I think I better understand why the esoteric concepts of reading and energy were illusive to me. It's funny because I throw the this Doc quote at others from time to time: "Marty, you're not thinking fourth dimensionally." Everything we know comes from our experiences and that includes the feelings we have when interacting with things.

It sounds obvious, but when I interact with a gala apple there is rarely emotional interaction involved. I purchase the apple with intent to hold it and consume it because it tastes good while providing it's nourishment... what KitFox suggests I start doing is feel my personal interaction with the apple. So instead of obvious it's actually freakishly bizarre yet makes sense in context to our conversation. On top of the fond stories behind why I choose gala apples or how I got in the habit of taking off the stem before eating it there is also the speckled colors, smoothness, shape, the texture while eating, slicing, or smashing them; all kinds of stuff which only really comes up when something else is familiar to it, which is the point. Becoming as familiar with the personal affect of stuff as well as the tangible effects so that familiarity can be used for cross-identification, which is supposedly how readings of self and others work. We'll see. ;)

It's a weird side-step from my usual pursuits but my curiosity should keep me on course and interested... besides, it isn't like it'll take time out of my day. I don't really have any excuse not to.

"We don't see things as they are, we see things as we are." - Anais Nin
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Jax replied the topic: Nitsud's Training Journey

That's really interesting. I look forward to seeing the insights you gain from this experiment.


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