Coping Tips for Empaths

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Kol Drake created the topic: Coping Tips for Empaths

I have had the experience of helping more then a few kids make it through puberty and on into college-hood with lots of mentoring and 'tips' on how to cope with being so sensitive to the energies and thoughts that were bombarding them at the time. Always amazed me when some simple lessons in centering, grounding, and basic shielding did so much for so many. Always wished I had 'gotten to them sooner' since so many felt alienated and -- for a few, near suidical due to the emotional stresses.

What IS an Empath?
Basically, someone who can feel other peoples feelings. Sometimes they mistaken as psychic because they just know stuff, without being told. It is a knowing that goes way beyond intuition or gut feelings, even though that is how many would describe the knowing.

An Empath can see a persons likes and hates, they can feel their sadness or happiness. When an Empath walks into a room full of people they can be overwhelmed with emotions from the other people. Empaths will often take on other people's emotions especially loved ones, they can feel their pain and hurt or sadness, sometimes they will feel this even when they are not in the same place as the other person they will sense something is wrong.

Strong Empaths can know instantly if someone is lying and being dishonest, or if someone means them harm, they instinctively know if someone is a good or bad person. Empaths will sometimes become very sad or depressed without knowing why, what they do not know is that they are absorbing negativity and others emotions around them. Empaths can even feel someone else's physical pain if they are hurt or unwell. Trust me, this one is no fun. It really stinks when you go to work feeling fine and then suddenly get shooting pains in the back and sides for no apparent reason -- only to find out later the dude across the way was trying to pass gallstones which he was trying to 'grit it out' until he got off work.

Empaths love positive environments and, of course, run from toxic ones... which can make them seem anti social when it's really just trying to survive the moment. Escapism is a big must for most Empaths -- they can tire of taking on everyone else's problems and need an escape whether it be through movies, video games, drinking, music or even just throwing yourself into work or family life. When Empaths do not have a release they will find themselves spending almost every moment doing things for others.

Some Empaths can smell an emotion or illness, they will be able to smell sadness, or hurt and often can smell disease. It can be very hard to switch off if you're an Empath, you can feel very drained all the time and find it very hard to sleep.

People are drawn to an Empath as a metal object is to a magnet! because of their warmth and their general openness, Empaths are very honest, maybe sometimes too honest, they are very open people and people find this a comfort, people also feel comfortable because an Empath knows just what to say as they know how the other person is feeling.

Being an Empath can be both a blessing and a curse, it can be useful to you in certain situations, but at the same time it is very hard to switch off and you get a constant roller coaster of thoughts and emotions that are sometimes not even your own.
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Kol Drake replied the topic: Coping Tips for Empaths

Coping Tips for Empaths

Being an empath can be physically and emotionally draining. Many people are unaware that they are an empath and do not know how to cope with this ability.

Develop Your Shield
The IJRS has a long, multi page thread regarding shields. Plus the lessons in the Force 101 and Meditation 101 sections help tons to find your center and work on mindful balance and working on protecting yourself. Remember, around your physical body, there is a layer of your aura that is devoted to your interface with your environment. Its shape and condition indicate your relationship to your world.

People who are empaths often have a "thin skin" in relation to their shield body. When it has holes in it, we are more easily influenced by our environment. Visualize a shield of energy around your physical body. See it as being radiant and complete. You may see it as a particular color. Some people like to see it as white or gold. Decide what color would work well for you, and see it that way. Imagine the shield body as flowing and moving, not static. We are developing a shield here, not armor. It is good for it to be flexible, so you can let in what serves you, and keep out what does not. Remember this is a protection -- you are not trying to make a '8 foot thick stone wall' -- it not only blocks stuff from coming in but makes one rather 'stuck in place' -- dragging about all that stonework... Movement is Life.

Get Centered
Once you have the shield body in place, imagine that there is a spark in the center of your being that is your pure essence. Focus your attention on the spark, bring all your senses to bear. Also be aware of your sensations, emotions and thoughts. First try this when you are alone, and then, after a time, practice it around others. See if you can switch your awareness from your environment to your self, and back again. Notice the difference between the two.

Do Not Take On Responsibilities That Are not Yours
A person can get so used to care taking that they can feel as though they are supposed to do it. You are not. It is good to be as compassionate as possible without going beyond the limits of what you need to do to maintain YOUR health and sanity. You are responsible up to that line, and not beyond it. If you are an empath, your idea of where the line is might be a bit fuzzy. Once you get to know where the line is, try to stick to it. It will make all your relationships clearer and cleaner.

Get Used To Being the Bad Guy -- BUT not go all mega 'Dark Side'
Empaths are often outwardly kind and caring. They usually get the benefit of everyone thinking that they are almost saintly sometimes. It is easy to get attached to being the "nice guy." It is not easy dealing with people's negative emotions, but care-taking others does not ultimately serve them or you. It does not help them to protect them from their feelings. It keeps them from growing up. It is much better to live in reality than a padded reality. Yes, they may get angry or sad at you or with you if you do not do what they want you to do, but it is important to remember that their feelings are not your feelings, and your well-being is not dependent on their well being.

Develop Your Throat Chakra
Sometimes an empath will know what they need to say or do to make good boundaries, but have a hard time following through in expressing it. The throat chakra is the center for the expression of personal truth. Through the opening of the throat chakra, we open ourselves to expressing our true needs and feelings, as well as expressing the creative force as it moves through us.

Some good exercises for opening the throat chakra are singing and chanting, sharing your feelings and thoughts with friends, and meditating on the throat chakra. Some healing stones that help with the throat chakra are chrysacolla, turquoise, lapis lazuli, amazonite, and blue lace agate. You can meditate with them, put them in a medicine bag, or wear jewelry (particularly necklaces).

Develop Your Root Chakra
The root chakra helps us to deal with being fully in the world. When the root chakra is open, we are fully grounded and present with whatever is coming our way. When it is not open, we can be disassociative, fearful, and have difficulty staying present with what is going on. Opening and healing the root chakra helps us to release the fears that keep us from our highest manifestation within form.

Some exercises that help to open the root chakra are: Imagine you are sending roots down into the earth from your base. Imagine you can breathe in and out of your root center. On the inhale, breathe in energy from the earth. On the exhale, release any thing that is within you that does not serve you out of the root center and into the Earth. Some healing stones that you might find helpful are: obsidian Kansas pop rocks hematite and red jasper.

Smudging And Clearing Regularly
Whether you are having difficulty with your empathic abilities or not, it is a good idea to smudge yourself regularly to release other people's energy and influence from your energy body. Smudging is a way to clear your energy by waving incense around your body. Sage, copal, frankincense, and Palo Santo are all recommended.

Other good clearing methods are: showering, bathing and spending time in solitude. Take a bath This is the single most effective thing you can do to clear all that emotional funk away. And I do mean bath – a shower does not permeate in the same manner though in a pinch a shower can help. For a bath, you do not need candles or anything else, just a nice hot bath and some privacy. Give it a good 15 minutes and you will feel much, much better. I recommend it before going to bed, as you can carry all that crap through your sleep and still wake up with it, otherwise.

If you REALLY want to clear negative or uncomfortable energies from an area/room -- put two or three bowls of salt (sea salt if you can afford it) around the room. That stuff will suck energy up like a sponge... I mean -- until it's sterile energetically speaking. It can take time to 'move back in' -- so it gives you time to charge the room with good, positive energy.

Breathe
Trust me -- it sucks when you don't. Wherever you are, stop what you are doing for 3 minutes and just breath. You should be inhaling through the nose and from the diaphragm. Slowly. And then you should be exhaling slowly, through the lips – do not just open your mouth and blow it all out. Pretend you are blowing on a cup of hot coffee; that is the kind of blowing you want.

Slow and steady. Imagine that each time you inhale you are drawing all that crap up to the surface, and then expelling it when you exhale. If you practice, that will be precisely what you learn to do, eventually. Do not overdo it initially – deep breathing can release all kinds of emotional junk you weren’t previously cognizant of, and that will just make you feel worse. Really, really worse. Take it slow until you’re more skilled at it.

And finally -- find someone you can unload on. Having a friendly (and secure) shoulder or pair of ears ready to 'let it all out' can help release the pressure valve when it all gets to be too much. heh, guess that's true for non-empaths as well as empaths...
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Kol Drake replied the topic: Coping Tips for Empaths

Consider -- the empathic sense is like a language.

Everybody grows up speaking English (or their native tongue). For an empath, they soon realize they are also learning to understand an additional, unknown language -- the language of empaths. And, it is crazy frustrating because the English/native tongue speakers can not help learn this language because the language the empath needs to learn is subjective and person specific and there is not much common ground. heck, you can't even Google a dictionary for words or definitions!

So, it comes to this -- empaths coming here to the IJRS; seeking clues while teaching themselves a language without words. In actuality, the empathic folk are learning to navigate the energy systems of the body without the comfortable assurance of the 'standard' five physical senses.
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Kol Drake replied the topic: Coping Tips for Empaths

"Use the Force, Luke"

Over and over, we post how your body is a complex energy system.
All Creation's chillen are energy -- full of the Force. And all 'us' great balls of energy are constantly creating, sending, and receiving whether we realize it or not. So when the empath ‘empaths’ someone else’s feelings what they are doing is energetically focusing on that person and taking their ‘hurting’ energy into them selves and simultaneously sending their own energy to help those pained folk feel better. The end result: you drain out your own personal energy, and end up feeling emotional overwhelm, exhaustion, anxiety or more.

What can you do instead? Before, I listed all kinds of 'stuff' to help get you centered, balanced and shielded. Perhaps first and foremost, I should have said -- "Use the Force." Your complex energy system has a direct connection to the Force energy – that is infinite, balanced and perfectly what is needed at all times. Using your own body energies can drain you and/or leave you with mud by mixing and mashing your own energy with the 'pained' person. Instead, best to learn to connect to the Universal Force Source energy consciously (or imagine doing it if you can not sense or feel it) and when you find yourself feeling someone else’s feelings intend that that Force Source energy flow THROUGH you to the person in need. Do not use your energy. Do not take their energy on. Become a conduit for that greater Force Source -- or better yet, become a prism -- which takes in and transforms the energy into it's 'best use'. Believe that Force Source energy can and does flow through you to the other person filling them with exactly what they need.

You can practice this a few times and quickly notice the difference it makes for you and them.
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Kol Drake replied the topic: Coping Tips for Empaths

"Operator, I think I've been disconnected! "

Let's face it -- if you can connect to someone (or place or thing), you can also disconnect.

This might be one of those "easier said then done" instances.

First, and most importantly, you have to notice and be aware that what you are feeling is not your energy. When you do, close your eyes, breath deeply, feel or imagine your core energy and consciously ground yourself. Once you are grounded --

1) imagine you are disconnecting,
2) say or think the words “I disconnect my energy from all energies that are not serving my highest good”,
3) heck, you can always ask for the Force, God / All-That-Is or whatever spiritual or divine help you want.

You may or may not feel a shift or change but it is the intent of your actions that carries the power, and 'the practice', imo, begins to train your personal energy systems. As you learn to be more aware of how or when you connect to global energies, you will get better at touching them and letting go faster.

Ya, again, most of this is covered in one form or another in Force 101, the WWTF series under Esoterics and many of the topics in Esoterics.
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Kol Drake replied the topic: Coping Tips for Empaths

When in danger or in doubt
Run in circles; scream and shout.


heh... not really but sometimes being goofy can relieve the tension as much as being "oh so serious".

Simple, but so true -- when in doubt; get/ask for help.
These days, there are more energy workers openly talking about and sharing their talents. And with the internet we can more easily find them. And even better, many of them offer them services remotely so you can be in different parts of the country and still get the help you need. We have folks from all over the world coming to the IJRS -- and each is unique in their views, skills and abilities -- and I am willing to bet more then a few can identify with the 'fun and curse' of being empathic... and more then willing to lend a hand in a pinch.

IF possible, see if you can take energy class. Find teachers/mentors/lightsaber wielding task masters.
Many big colleges and some community colleges have 'adult classes' / continuing education courses which sometimes include anything from tarot card reading to chakra work to reiki and 'energy work'. Some are free and some cost a fee but many can help with some basic 'stuff' and maybe point you in the right direction for finding those others of similar empathic frustrations. Figure, once you start, you will meet other people who might offer you additional resources and options you never considered or knew about.

Meditate daily
Meditate daily
Meditate daily
Meditate daily
Meditate daily

... I could go on but, I figure you got the message.

TONS of benefits for your mind and body... all laid out in Meditation 101 and all those IJRS posts. It's not just about 'knowing' -- it is all about DOING.

hmmm... guess -- 'end of sermonizing'... :cheer:
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Johannes (Yoshio) replied the topic: Coping Tips for Empaths

It took me a while but finally I have read through this article and found it to be, as usual, very informative whit quite some very helpful things in it. So, many thanks Kol Drake for putting this together for us and for sharing your experiences with us.

Qui-Gon Jinn: "We cannot control our emotions, but we can decide how we go along with them."
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Luminara replied the topic: Coping Tips for Empaths

Thank you very much!
As one who suffers greatly from bad interactions with other people's auras, it is nice to see some helpful info on how to get a handle on it. Just yesterday, I was "zapped" by someone who (only) shook hands with me (a local politician) - the effect wasn't immediate, but within half an hour or so, I was totally drained - and it took a good 24 hours to really start feeling better.

It is going to take some practice, I see, but I'm guessing that next time, I need to concentrate on sending that conduit of energy through me to the person I have to touch or interact with - pre-emptively - so that they don't have a chance to zap me...

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All that we are is the result of what we have thought.
The mind is everything.
What we believe, we become.
Buddha
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Kol Drake replied the topic: Coping Tips for Empaths

Hi Lori !

You do not have to go around anticipating the next zap.

A couple of things you can do easily -- if you know you are going to be in a crowd situation; you can visualize/imagine a body bubble around you -- say a foot from your body. This is a special bubble since you will be 'programming it' (with your visualization/intent) to do a specific task -- turn any incoming energy into positive energy. You can also make another 'body bubble' which is at your skin level which is a 'do not disturb' layer so someone can not latch on and keep a permanent connection/link/Force Bond to you and your aura/energy.

Of course, a good 'white light' head to toe to Ground 'flush' after a lot of glad handing is always a good idea. Only takes a moment and you can keep from feeling all run down. Or, run home and take a relaxing shower or dip in the tub. Although, if you are hand shaking with politicians, perhaps several dips. :P

Okay... longer than I intended. I direct you to "Esoterics" >>>> Grounding 101 and Shields and Shielding.
Both might give you tips on taking care of yourself in those kinds of situations.
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Luminara replied the topic: Coping Tips for Empaths

Thank you!
I had never thought of using two bubbles. I've done the "shields up!" type of thing when I can anticipate trouble. Seems to help. I know how to close my third eye - which helps, except that I seem to think about it after an encounter!
I've taught my daughters how to cleanse their auras which is pretty much the ground "flush" you mention - and we always finish with a mirror coating - sorta like the evil Terminator in the second movie. (That's how I visualize it anyway, lol)

I'm going to be interested in learning more about breaking the Force Bonds that have been established already. I've learned some 'cutting' visualizations which help, but not always enough - especially when it is a strong bond such as that with my ex-husband. Although he doesn't seem to cause too much trouble now.

I have already started skimming the other threads, but will have to return to it later!

Writer, photographer, astrologer, student of the universe.

All that we are is the result of what we have thought.
The mind is everything.
What we believe, we become.
Buddha
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