Yoshio's Dream Log

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Johannes (Yoshio) replied the topic: Re: Yoshio's Dream Log

2011-03-10
Ah, this night was much better! Although I had again only roughly five hours of sleep, the dream was much better and nicer than the last nights! Lucky me, this night I had a dream in which I was together with my new love. Because of that the dream was filled with warm and good feelings. It even left a positive impression in me after I woke up.
The dream it self was about, that we finally found a way to come together – by now we do know each other only from e-mail and Skype, as she lives in Japan and I'm here in Germany – and about the first time we would have together.

Qui-Gon Jinn: "We cannot control our emotions, but we can decide how we go along with them."
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Johannes (Yoshio) replied the topic: Re: Yoshio's Dream Log

2011-07-04
In the night from Sunday to Monday I had a wired if not to say bad dream. Normally I do forget the dreams I had during the night very quick, but this one kept on staying in my mind.
The dream was about that I did a round walking tour with some friends which should last for a couple of times. So we had been on our way already for two or three days when we approached a hut where we wanted to stay for overnight. There we met some other people and from this point on the dream got wired! I had the feeling that we should have arrived at this hut sometime in the later afternoon. But in the next moment it was again late morning. The people were starting to talk about a curse which lies on the rest of the way and that all people whom stay on this part somewhere for overnight will most likely die. Because of that there was a lot of arguing going on of what to do will be best because for some reason we couldn't just return and walk all the way back. So we had to go through this area no matter what. I knew that the rest of the way would be doable in one long day walk and so we made the decision walk as fast as we could. It was up to me to take the lead and after the decision that we will go on and I will have the lead, we did some final pre-checks and started. I noticed that, after we had left the hut, the area, the surrounding changed rapidly and got darker and darker – the main colour was a dark brown – and in a way rotten. Then I had the feeling that something was pushing me out of this area and the dream as well, only to wake up, having a bad feeling and this wired dream in my head.

Just the night after the night with this wired dream I had another dream about, lets say, "the raising of the dead". This dream was not that intense and didn't stay that clear in my mind. Further more the baseline feeling wasn't that bad or frightening. Unfortunately I don't know anymore much about this dream.
What makes me wondering is the fact that I had does dreams! "Normally" I do dream of things I had gone through or have a relation, link to my chosen path of being a Jedi/Warrior-Saint. I never ever had dream before about death, undead and curses.

Qui-Gon Jinn: "We cannot control our emotions, but we can decide how we go along with them."
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Jax replied the topic: Re: Yoshio's Dream Log

Interesting. And weird.  I definitely agree with weird.  Sorry I don't have more to add.
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Johannes (Yoshio) replied the topic: Re: Yoshio's Dream Log

2011-09-07
This night I had a very intense dream. I was dreaming about my job. I’m, in a way, quite unhappy with it as it is dam boring and not offering me any prospects for a more interesting future. Lately it feels to me like I’m on a dead end road. So I’m dealing around with options how I might be able to change that.
I’m pretty sure that this is what has caused the dream. But anyway here is what I can remember of it. I was dreaming about that I got into a harsh argumentation with our project manager. During this he threw the following words into my face: “You are not performing well. You are not fulfilling your tasks and if you are not start to do better, it might be better that you quit your job.” This got me that angry – because lately I have hardly anything to do and feeling bored and the bits and pieces I have to do, I do them in the best way I’m able to and always in time – that I came back to him with saying: “If this is really what you are thinking and feeling Mr. XXX, it might really be in the best interest of both of us that I quit here as I’m anyway feeling that I’m wasting my time here.” The whole situation in the dream hit me that unexpected, if this can be in a dream or during sleeping, that I woke up immediately and felt completely disorientated. It took me a couple of minutes to calm down and another couple of minutes to fall asleep again.
What was causing this disorientation was not so much the situation itself but more how I had reacted to the words of the project manager. Because this reminded me very much on how I had been and would have reacted quite long ago.
Later, when I had to get up, I was still fussing around with that situation and it took me nearly the whole time of my morning meditation to get calm again.

Qui-Gon Jinn: "We cannot control our emotions, but we can decide how we go along with them."
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Johannes (Yoshio) replied the topic: Re: Yoshio's Dream Log

2012-06-02

During the night from Friday (2012-06-01) to Saturday (2012-06-02) I had, for the first time after quite some while, a real nightmare.
First the dream started out normal and I can only remember it from the point where it started to change into the nightmare. I dreamed of going to bed in a nice room but in the moment I slipped under the cover the room started to change to something more like a hallway than a safe room. Already there the feeling I got changed into feeling not any longer secure but I haven’t given much thought on that at this time. Okay a bit more detail might be needed here! As I said, when I went into this bed it was a normal sleeping room but it started to change. First it became a bedroom for more beds developing further into a sleeping hall. At that point I was starting to patiently asking people to keep silent so that others are able to sleep. But the room changed further and finally became this hallway at which all the other people had disappeared. In that moment I felt a big pressure on my chest which wanted to keep me in bed. Furthermore I felt that I breathing becomes harder and harder. Because of that my wish to get up and out of bed got bigger and bigger. But I had to find out that I wasn’t able to get out of bed by only using physical power. I started to feel panic but in a way I was able to keep on thinking as well. So I strengthened my will and instead of trying to get up in a physical way, I imagined to push myself out of this bed and pushing everything away from me which is in my way. This worked and I finally got out of the bed only to find myself in front of a mirror in which I was forced to look into in a way. First everything looked normal. But then the mirror started to change and rot in a way. I mean, first the mirror was clear and showing me my own face, but then it was like the film on the backside of the mirror was corroding and getting holes. In the very same moment when this started to happen also the mirror image of my face was overlaid and changed into a demonic antic/grimace which came more and more in front and separating my own face but not completely replacing it.
At that moment, I don’t know what I did, but I must have reacted unconsciously to that because I was finally able to wake up in real. When I woke up I felt disorientated. I was sweating and also felt fear. It took me a while to calm down. After that I went into the bathroom, washed my face and calmed down a bit more. At the end I was able to get to bed again and happily had a calm sleep for the rest of the night only to find myself completely disorientated again when the radio alarm was sounding off at Saturday morning. At that point I thought it was Friday morning and that I’m late for work due to that the alarm was set to 6 o’clock and not 0515 o’clock as it should during the working week. About the rest I had written already in my PTD, so here only that much that it had taken me a while to convince myself that it is Saturday and that it is okay to get up later.

Qui-Gon Jinn: "We cannot control our emotions, but we can decide how we go along with them."
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Jax replied the topic: Re: Yoshio's Dream Log

And you had nothing else disturbing during the day, meditation, etc? Just that one dream?
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Johannes (Yoshio) replied the topic: Re: Yoshio's Dream Log

Disturbing, hmm, not that I would have been aware of. I mean, after going through the, what I do use as, standard set-up for my meditation practice, I had some difficulties to stay focused on the breathing and my mind was drifting away but not more than at other times.
Furthermore I was staying at home the whole day, as I have caught a cold. Also I did the things I did maybe a bit more conscious due to the dream and the fact that I still felt a bit frightened. This might also have been the main driver for why I had been doing the meditation on Saturday night before going to bed and putting a bit more focus on - I'm not sure if it is valid to say shielding - the bubble of white light part of my meditation exercises. Although having done that, it needed me to remind myself about that fact when I was lying in bed. I told myself that I did what I could and that I'm save as this is my controlled area.
The same is valid to say for Sunday night. The dream was still in my mind, but as I had a good sleep from Saturday to Sunday, I used the same approach at Sunday as well and had a good sleep again.

For me the point in this is, I normally have hardly any real nightmares. Sometimes I do have some strange dreams. But normally I'm always able to keep control over them or maybe better said me in them. But this time it was really terrifying and I dearly hope that it will not come back on me again, as I have no clue of what this might want to tell me or what I should learn out of it.
I mean the part of where I was lying in bed, feeling not getting enough air into my lunges and wasn't able to get up, reminded me on the myth of the Alp or Succubus where at you just have to name her to make her disappear. But I can't remember that I had done so, maybe subconsciously!? I only can remember now that I was thinking the same in the dream as well and that this, as I wasn't able to recall this myth, caused me to change my idea to imagine myself being pushed out of bed instead of getting up by my own physical strength.
Then there is this part with the mirror which corroded and changed the image of what I saw. I dearly have no clue if the demonic face I saw at the end was something of my dark inner self or if it was the face of an attacker whom caused all this. The first impression was that it had been a male face with a moustache around the mouth a bit similar to my own one, but the eyes and especially the eyebrows had been more the ones of a woman. Also this face was in a way overlaying my own mirror image which made it hard to exactly determine which part belonged to which face. The only detail which also came out very clear was that my pale skin tone change through the changing of the mirror image to a fierily red one but with a wax overlay.

As You, Jax, can see, even after two days or better said two nights, without having taken any notes, this dream is still very clear in my mind and, although I'm not yet feeling feared by it any longer, I dearly hope that I don't have to experience it again.

Qui-Gon Jinn: "We cannot control our emotions, but we can decide how we go along with them."
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Jax replied the topic: Re: Yoshio's Dream Log

I also don't have nightmares so they stand out. It's possible you were dealing with an attack or threat energetically. If you aren't noticing problems when awake, maybe it was a momentary lapse, someone who noticed you with low shields. When you pushed without using your strength it was enough to get rid of it. And then your fear naturally boosted your shields sufficient to avoid further problems.

Or it was an intense dream regarding an area of your life you aren't looking at yet and the dream was trying to help you see.

Another option is it was a time where you were aware but astral. This can cause fear, and then when trying to wake up you couldn't until your spirit returned to your body. I vaguely recall something like this from Robert Bruce but I don't recall the details.

Hopefully this won't happen again and you can get some sleep.
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Johannes (Yoshio) replied the topic: Re: Yoshio's Dream Log

Fortunately I had been able to sleep well in a row for three nights now since then.

As for your reply Jax, if I would have to make a guess, I personally would go for the first option also the second one is always something which is possible. But I have no clue as to which area of my life this dream should point me to.

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Jax replied the topic: Re: Yoshio's Dream Log

I wish I knew.
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