John Symaro needs your help

  • Memnoich
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Memnoich replied the topic: John Symaro needs your help

I know Jax has a similar story, but let em tell you about my wife. I first met her in '93, in high school, come to find out, we both crushed on each other, but the timing never worked, when I was single, she wasn't, and visa versa. In '97 I visited her at her post in Florida on my way to my post in Georgia. We have a great couple of days, but then I had to leave. After, we kind of lost touch as life got in the way. In '02 we caught up with each other online and chatted for a few months, but again, life got in the way, and we fell apart. in 2010, she found me on Facebook. She had moved back into town, we were both out of the military, both had kids, and both had gone through bad divorce's, so we took console in one another and spent months hanging out before we really started dating. Looking back, you could say we were dating, except we were doing it as friends before we decided to take the next step. We often wonder what would have happened if we had hooked up in high school, or stayed together back in '97, but we were different people during those times, as there was much we hadn't experienced or done yet. While some things may have been prevent, such as our bad divorces, who know what might have come from it. The kids we have now would not have been born, we may not have been able to make the Long distance relationship work while in 2 separate branches of the military. So many things would have been different, but would it have been better. We came together when it was time, and hopefully we will be together for quite a bit longer.

.oO Memnoich Oo.
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Johnny Andrade replied the topic: John Symaro needs your help

That actually sounds pretty cool, and it actually helped snap me out of it. I am going to take on all the advice given to me, especially that of just taking this time alone to work on myself, BUT if I do that, wouldn't it be best to bury these feelings like I've been asking, to be able to concentrate and focus on working on myself? That's where I'm getting confused now lol
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Jax replied the topic: John Symaro needs your help

NO!!!!! Never bury feelings. Never ever ever. Feelings need to be looked at, addressed, and then can be released. That's completely different. So you have to get very honest with yourself. What are you holding onto when you hold onto the feelings? This process of looking at the feelings is how you work on yourself.
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Johnny Andrade replied the topic: John Symaro needs your help

I'm not sure that's something I have the strength to do though.
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Jax replied the topic: John Symaro needs your help

Of course you do. Just go at a pace that keeps you looking at things but not to the point that it breaks you. It isn't a race. Start by focusing on your training here, and whenever it brings up 'stuff' don't shy away from it. Just dive in an ask questions of yourself. Go back to reading the Being You book, restart it if you need to. There are a lot of tools in there that will help with this, but you need to use them.
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Memnoich replied the topic: John Symaro needs your help

Another thing that helps is to delve into the question, why do you feel you need someone else to be complete, what part of "You" is lacking, that you feel there is a hole that needs filled. This is what we mean by work on you. If you are in a situation where you fell like you need a "Hole Filled", then any relationship you get into would not be completely healthy, because you would be relying on another in order to be "Whole". That could easily become unbalanced and dependent. What you should strive for, is not someone that completes you, but someone that complements you, someone that enjoys your particular peculiarities. Someone to spend time with and enjoy, not someone, that if they are not there than it feels like you can't do anything, because you are not whole.

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Jax replied the topic: John Symaro needs your help

Exactly. It's a lie that you aren't already whole to begin with. The truth is that you are an infinite being that is already perfect. You knew this as a baby. Reality forgets this though so as you grow up all the things that were unique about you were likely made wrong through your parents, school, church (or lack there of), until you think you are nothing but a pile of crap that needs to be fixed. But all of that is a lie. Stop buying the lie. Recognize it as such and say no, I won't buy this anymore. Use the expansion tool you'll learn in Jedi Studies to help release the lies. Use whatever visualization works for you to destroy the lie. And keep doing that as they come up. We've all got layers and layers of lies we bought that make us feel less than whole, so don't be discouraged. It gets easier.
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Johnny Andrade replied the topic: John Symaro needs your help

It's starting to make better sense now, so with all this said, after I'm done with the intro course, do you think it might be best for me personally to move on to Jedi Studies instead of meditation?
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Johnny Andrade replied the topic: John Symaro needs your help

Thanks again everyone for your help, but now I have another different problem that I could use help with. I had a really horrible nightmare this past Saturday....Basically, I dreamt I was Anakin Skywalker becoming Darth Vader. I was outside at twilight right before nightfall, and I could see a HUGE and I mean HUGE full moon go completely black. I was kneeling in mud crying, and I pressed my hands and feet in it so I could remember what they looked like for the last time because I knew I'm arms and legs were going to be cut off like his were, and I shaved my head completely. I remember screaming and crying horribly in pain, and as the nightmare progressed, like Anakin becoming Vader, when the part came to were I saw myself as a Sith, I was killing everyone and everything with a red lightsaber.
Through out the whole nightmare, it felt like, if Anakin Skywalker was a truly real person that once really lived, I could feel all the pain and agony and sorrow and anger and hatred he would've truly felt. When I woke up I asked my mom if while I was asleep if I was screaming, because I felt that I was. She said no, and I told her about it, and when I did I realized, "you know who had dreams JUST like that", Anakin... Bottom line is, I don't want to be a real Darth Vader :palpatine
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Jax replied the topic: John Symaro needs your help

Johnny, everyone takes Jedi Studies and Creed after intro. After those courses you can choose what courses to take.

I already responded regarding your dream on facebook. :-)
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