Different Lifestyles?

  • SimplyCurious
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SimplyCurious created the topic: Different Lifestyles?

Hiya!

i am not a Jedi myself, though curious about the lifestyle. i do have a question i want to ask any Jedis who can! i was super curious as to wether or not the Jedi path embraces maybe alternative lifestyle choices such as those in BDSM? i know with the 50 shades movie out i might be asking something that has been asked before on here....? But like, can it be done? Could a Jedi be a Dominant? Could a Jedi be a Submissive? Master or slave? Or even other aspects of it such as a Daddy/little?

Thanks for reading!!!

Ciao,
SimplyCurious<3
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  • Kol Drake
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Kol Drake replied the topic: Different Lifestyles?

Well.... there are Sith who use whips. :P


Shira Elan Colla Brie aka Lumiya

lol.... Soooooo -- looking to see if there is the equivalent of Fifty Shades of Jedi? :woohoo:

I imagine a Jedi is as interested in 'happy sexual encounters' as anyone else would be... after all, we are only human. Not certain how far that might go though since most (or at least those who camp here at the IJRS) are fairly strong individuals in their views and manner of living life.

But heck, we have pretty much the entire spectrum of 'orientations' among the ranks -- and, imo -- what they do 'after hours' in the privacy of their orbiting space habitat is none of my business as long as it does not reflect poorly on the community (ie. dancing nekked on the observation deck of the Empire State Building with a banner stating, "I am a Jedi... *hand wave* these are not the bewbies you were looking for...")
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  • SimplyCurious
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SimplyCurious replied the topic: Different Lifestyles?

Honestly, i am not a fan of the 50 shades, i just know that is what most people jump to.

Well like my question, goes beyond after hours, some submissives are that way 24/7 along with their Dom's. Same thing with a lot of roles in that lifestyle. it is a lifestyle choice all in itself, just like the Jedi path.

And then there are other extremes to that lifestyle, like slaves, can a Jedi be owned by someone if they give up their freewill and consent? Can a Jedi be a little, and have that child aspect of their life and still be a Jedi? Can a Jedi own a person as a Master, if the person gives them that right? And i am talking like all consenual stuff of here, of course!!! But like, can a jedi follow that path while living in a liftestyle that is not vanilla?

Ciao!
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  • Kol Drake
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Kol Drake replied the topic: Different Lifestyles?

It may take a week or more before everyone has a chance to read this thread and/or post to it... so I hope I'm not stomping on any toes.

I 'internet' know one person who is into leather, lace, and rubber across the big pond. We've chatted some about 'that lifestyle' -- she's most sub when she participates. Me, being a total 'wonder white bread clueless male', I just don't 'get' it but have no issues with Dom or Sub -- as long as no damage is done -- physically or emotional -- after all, it's all about 'consensual' as you noted.

Personally?
I have to go into a rambling explanation of sorts.

While Jedi and Sith tend to study similar topics -- examination of self/Self, meditation, focus, the Force, etc. Sooner or later, the Jedi go for 'improving self' and gaining 'powers' as part of helping the wider community and beyond while, typically, the Sith are seen as wanting power in all it's varied forms to advance self and have control -- of self and Over others; more survival of the fittest I suppose.

Of course, I'm hand waving a ton over what each is / represents so take it with a large pinch of salt.

I would guess that a Sith would have no problem being a Dom in such a relationship. Not certain about being a Sub -- although I have been told that the 'one with the true power' in such situations IS the sub -- since the sub pretty much sets the agenda, the degree of action (pain, pleasure, confinement, etc.) and is the one to give the safe word when it gets too close to the line or 'end of the night'. So, a different kind of power -- just not as overt.

Not certain I can 'see' a Jedi or a Sith jumping into a Sub role... but again... me, Mr. Wonder White Bread.

Again, what is done in private between two consenting adults does not mean they can't rush outside in robes and jammies swinging light sticks and helping neighbors, friends, or community in a million different ways. And, perhaps some do just that.

So, guess my view all boils down to 'yes' 'no' 'maybe' and 'I don't know'...
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  • Connor
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Connor replied the topic: Different Lifestyles?

I'm not 100% sure, Kol, that Sith Realists would separate a desire to do good for the community and personal desire to do good for the community. In a way, Sith see "good" Jedi as just another expression of Sithism, whereby the object of the training is still selfish, but with the byproduct being a better community. And, any Sith worth his salt would agree that a better society makes for a good lifestyle, as the wealth of all men increases, so do the lifestyles of all men.

So, in a perfect world, Sith and Jedi would be equivalent. lol.

Granted, that was just a fun little thought experiment to show that the labels we wear are often as superficial as the "snowflake" speciality we try to give our situations. When, in reality, the truth of the matter is that we are all on the same path... we just view it differently and with personal experience.

Now, breaking down that barrier, I am comfortable answering this question:
It depends.

Each Jedi sees the world differently. It is possible that the Jedi might not even consider his sex life a part of his expression as a Jedi. In the same way that he might go dumpster diving because that's what his psychological processes lead him to.. but, he probably would not associate it with being a Jedi.

If I were a (non-Buddhist Jedi) Sub or a Dom, it just would not cross my mind to cross-reference that with my Jedi training. *shrugs*

Now, I follow the Buddhist principles to the best of my ability. ;)

Sexuality in Buddhism is up to interpretation, but the general consensus is, if you aren't hurting yourself or others, it's fair game. Unfortunately, being a Dom or a Sub breaks that principle. So, as a Buddhist Jedi, I couldn't partake in a BDSM relationship.

Of course, [this may get graphic?] I like to be pinned down and dominated. But, not in a "I'm going to hurt you" kind of way.. just more in the "let me tie you up and show you how powerless you are" kind of way. It doesn't hurt me in the least. So, in that respect, it's perfectly ok in my book.

But, if I end up being slapped, or I slap somebody else... then we're getting to a grey area and there's room for discussion.

In addition... I used to really battle with intense BDSM fetishes. But, this was mostly because of my self-esteem problems. I enjoyed being made fun of, but it was a response to a traumatic experience I wanted to feed. A lot of the time, these fetishes are born out of psychological problems that need to be expressed in a healthful way.

I was able to come to terms, and now I just like to exercise it with a bit of being 'overpowered'. Nothing gets out of hand, and everything is stable. I am not being degraded, but I am feeding the problem just enough to not let it bottle up.

So, really, it all depends... If you have the view that you should never give unnecessary pain, then maybe BDSM isn't the lifestyle for you. If you think it's not such a big deal, explore it and see what happens.

In any case, there are no overarching Jedi "rules" to follow. but, if you come here saying you actively hurt somebody, I bet you that people will not be happy about it here. lol.

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  • Brandel Valico
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Brandel Valico replied the topic: Different Lifestyles?

Same thing with a lot of roles in that lifestyle. it is a lifestyle choice all in itself, just like the Jedi path.


Hmmm...... well the person walking the Jedi path should be a Jedi 24/7 as well in all that they do. So as long as the alternative lifestyle comes secondary to the Jedi. Then yes a Jedi could be so. If it doesn't then no a Jedi couldn't be so.

When talking about lifestyles and paths all to often it's rare to find someone with the dedication to walk a path or live a lifestyle 24/7. Most, almost all compromise or combine separate paths to make an amalgam that suits their needs. In doing so they cease to truly walk either path but instead walk their own. This isn't wrong to do, nor do I mean to make it seem it is. One should seek the path that they need to seek. Just know that one must change themselves to fit the path not change the path to fit you. This is the difference between walking the path and creating your own.

HOMO SUM HUMANI A ME NIHIL ALIENUM PUTO
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Hunter replied the topic: Different Lifestyles?

owning and being owned is outside of the jedi paradigm

imagination and play are parts of life, including sexuality and if you have a desire to play fantasy roles then go right ahead

but the entire idea of ownership is a fantasy
especially ownership of life, especislly ownership of free roaming intelligent life

the impulse to own and to be owned suggests developmental issues which would usually be outgrown during the course of training

so from that perspective i would say go ahead and play

but understand that its play and dont confuse this and especially dont cling to it because there will come (ha!) a time when it will be appropriate to let the fantasy go

everyone has value
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